I want to move to Germany, but where do I start?
I'm currently 16, turning 17 this year and 18 the next.
I'm in college studying 3 very different subjects, but because I didn't get the grade expected in English (a 7) I haven't been able to enrol in any A-Level courses. I'm studying GCSE Photography, GCSE Law & Crim and GCSE Maths (Expected grades- 7, PASS, 4)
Due to the nature of the household I'm living in, and relationship with my mother and area I live in, I feel defeated on the daily... reminded of past traumas even in my own room. My father fully supports me moving to Germany, he's been a sweetheart; and gets along well with my German partner who is able support the two of us (While me still being given an allowance to help with bills as a 'thank you' from my father)
I want to escape- I am able to leave college as of September, but where do I start? I speak pretty good German. But do I apply for anything? Do I just get a one-way ticket, apply for a bank? Or, alternatively, do I wait until I'm 18 to escape?
In case you think that this is just 'teen-angst' it really isn't; I was assaulted by someone close to me when I was little, but when I told someone, I didn't specify all the details of what had happened- so they were left to believing my abuser. My mother actively supports him, and he tries to draw her in into believing him... which greatly impacts our relationship, thus trauma consumes me and I feel trapped where-ever I am. She has seen the tears and injuries I left on myself, but claims that they're just crocodile and that I'm doing it for attention.
A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through my FYP (For You Page, basically a set algorithm based on Location on similar interests. It's completely random) on TikTok, and out of nowhere, his face appeared on my timeline of him talking about his sexual escapades - I told my mother that he appeared on there, and hwat he was saying, she accused me of stalking him; she told him that I saw him on TikTok and that I have been reported to the police by him (Previously when I was 15, I confronted him via Instagram DM and he reported me to the Police from there)... I no longer feel safe in the area/home I live in, and I am genuinely afraid of him appearing again, the only solace I feel is that if I move very far away from here and NEVER interact with the people that caused my trauma.
I'm in college studying 3 very different subjects, but because I didn't get the grade expected in English (a 7) I haven't been able to enrol in any A-Level courses. I'm studying GCSE Photography, GCSE Law & Crim and GCSE Maths (Expected grades- 7, PASS, 4)
Due to the nature of the household I'm living in, and relationship with my mother and area I live in, I feel defeated on the daily... reminded of past traumas even in my own room. My father fully supports me moving to Germany, he's been a sweetheart; and gets along well with my German partner who is able support the two of us (While me still being given an allowance to help with bills as a 'thank you' from my father)
I want to escape- I am able to leave college as of September, but where do I start? I speak pretty good German. But do I apply for anything? Do I just get a one-way ticket, apply for a bank? Or, alternatively, do I wait until I'm 18 to escape?
In case you think that this is just 'teen-angst' it really isn't; I was assaulted by someone close to me when I was little, but when I told someone, I didn't specify all the details of what had happened- so they were left to believing my abuser. My mother actively supports him, and he tries to draw her in into believing him... which greatly impacts our relationship, thus trauma consumes me and I feel trapped where-ever I am. She has seen the tears and injuries I left on myself, but claims that they're just crocodile and that I'm doing it for attention.
A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through my FYP (For You Page, basically a set algorithm based on Location on similar interests. It's completely random) on TikTok, and out of nowhere, his face appeared on my timeline of him talking about his sexual escapades - I told my mother that he appeared on there, and hwat he was saying, she accused me of stalking him; she told him that I saw him on TikTok and that I have been reported to the police by him (Previously when I was 15, I confronted him via Instagram DM and he reported me to the Police from there)... I no longer feel safe in the area/home I live in, and I am genuinely afraid of him appearing again, the only solace I feel is that if I move very far away from here and NEVER interact with the people that caused my trauma.
Apart from your issues with the family, you just want to know a good city in Germany to begin a new life.
For your life as an undergraduate on a good university, I recommend you to move to Heidelberg. This city is in the south close to Mannheim and Stuttgart. And the university there has a god reputation
For your life as an undergraduate on a good university, I recommend you to move to Heidelberg. This city is in the south close to Mannheim and Stuttgart. And the university there has a god reputation
(edited 4 years ago)
I'm very sorry for what you've had to go through and the difficult relationship you have with your mother.
This German partner that you have, they sound older than you if they can support you financially. Do they live in Germany and have you actually met them?
At 16, you can legally move out and live on your own, but I don't know how old you would have to be to move to Germany (I am guessing 18). And it is not as simple as just buying a ticket - we are no longer part of the EU and the immigration process is likely to become more complicated after the transition period. You may need to show proof of income (e.g. having a work contract from a German company), proof that you can afford health insurance and so on. Another option would be to move there to study, but you would need A Levels, and again, this may become more difficult after the transition period.
I hugely sympathise with you situation, but I think moving abroad is much more difficult that you realise and speaking good German is not going to be enough.
This German partner that you have, they sound older than you if they can support you financially. Do they live in Germany and have you actually met them?
At 16, you can legally move out and live on your own, but I don't know how old you would have to be to move to Germany (I am guessing 18). And it is not as simple as just buying a ticket - we are no longer part of the EU and the immigration process is likely to become more complicated after the transition period. You may need to show proof of income (e.g. having a work contract from a German company), proof that you can afford health insurance and so on. Another option would be to move there to study, but you would need A Levels, and again, this may become more difficult after the transition period.
I hugely sympathise with you situation, but I think moving abroad is much more difficult that you realise and speaking good German is not going to be enough.
That's okay.
He is older, and I visited him twice this year for long periods of time. On the first trip, we both proved that we could problem solve together. On the second? we proved that we were able to sustain a way of living that made us both happy. But it's still not long enough to dictate future outcomes.
I guessed it wouldn't be that simple anymore- and I understand that moving abroad is very difficult, a family member moved to America and was there for about 5-6 years until he was considered a legal resident; so I do understand the weight of the situation.
I think what I might do is strive to get my A-Levels as a first step and take each day as it comes.
He is older, and I visited him twice this year for long periods of time. On the first trip, we both proved that we could problem solve together. On the second? we proved that we were able to sustain a way of living that made us both happy. But it's still not long enough to dictate future outcomes.
I guessed it wouldn't be that simple anymore- and I understand that moving abroad is very difficult, a family member moved to America and was there for about 5-6 years until he was considered a legal resident; so I do understand the weight of the situation.
I think what I might do is strive to get my A-Levels as a first step and take each day as it comes.
Original post by black tea
I'm very sorry for what you've had to go through and the difficult relationship you have with your mother.
This German partner that you have, they sound older than you if they can support you financially. Do they live in Germany and have you actually met them?
At 16, you can legally move out and live on your own, but I don't know how old you would have to be to move to Germany (I am guessing 18). And it is not as simple as just buying a ticket - we are no longer part of the EU and the immigration process is likely to become more complicated after the transition period. You may need to show proof of income (e.g. having a work contract from a German company), proof that you can afford health insurance and so on. Another option would be to move there to study, but you would need A Levels, and again, this may become more difficult after the transition period.
I hugely sympathise with you situation, but I think moving abroad is much more difficult that you realise and speaking good German is not going to be enough.
This German partner that you have, they sound older than you if they can support you financially. Do they live in Germany and have you actually met them?
At 16, you can legally move out and live on your own, but I don't know how old you would have to be to move to Germany (I am guessing 18). And it is not as simple as just buying a ticket - we are no longer part of the EU and the immigration process is likely to become more complicated after the transition period. You may need to show proof of income (e.g. having a work contract from a German company), proof that you can afford health insurance and so on. Another option would be to move there to study, but you would need A Levels, and again, this may become more difficult after the transition period.
I hugely sympathise with you situation, but I think moving abroad is much more difficult that you realise and speaking good German is not going to be enough.
Immigration process aside, 16/17yo is very young to be moving to another country to be reliant on someone else for accommodation and support. What would you do if you were still studying and the relationship broke down?
Where does your father live? What is he doing to help you out of an abusive household and get you the right help for your issues?
Where does your father live? What is he doing to help you out of an abusive household and get you the right help for your issues?
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- British citizen living abroad postgraduate loan eligibility
- National insurance number from abroad
- Studying in Germany
- Cambridge TMUA preparation
- Recommended city in canada to meet local girls
- Bath vs USYD
- UK citizen / EU resident
- Doing LLB conversion at a scottish uni as an english person
- looking for 8/9s at gcse, when did you start revising and how much?
- Leaving the UK to work abroad
- I really hate the war sections of every History topic! It loses me every time, HELP?
- GCSE History Study Group 2022-2023
- Post grad loan following time away from UK
- Mock results and future
- How many countries have you been to?
- AQA A-LEVEL History tips and help, A* achieved
- Kallisto's Friday Question: Germany
- Condition
- IB or A levels
- year 13-- a gyg blog
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?
