Dating girls

Hi, everyone
I just want some opinions pertaining to an issue.

Whether or not you'd describe this as a lack of self-confidence, here's the irony.
It's not so much about how attractive a girl objectively is in society, rather how attractive I find them.
Also, I wouldn't date a girl who doesn't like me for the way I look physically, regardless of how attractive I find her. Obviously liking each other's personality is paramount

Is that reasonable per se?

I just want to be able to feel comfortable around a person and be able to share my feelings with them. We all have ways of wanting to not necessarily feel approved, but more so to be able to feel comfortable around them.
Because my thought processes involve my future partner finding me attractive, their opinions matter.
And I'd also have the same opinions of them as they do for me, as I'd imagine that an ideal relationship is one where both parties are similar in nature and therefore have similar values.

Please let me know your opinions I look forward to listening to what you have to say
:smile:

Reply 1

username5253240

13

Yes deffo attraction is gotta be a mutual thing, and if you are looking for someone long term then similar values are important 😊

Reply 2

bored_7866

6

I agree there has to be some attraction but there have been times where I haven't been attracted to someone yet the more I got to know them, their morals and values the more I started to like them, then physical attraction just sort of followed because I started to view them differently.

Reply 3

username5067940

OP

10

Original post by bored_7866

I agree there has to be some attraction but there have been times where I haven't been attracted to someone yet the more I got to know them, their morals and values the more I started to like them, then physical attraction just sort of followed because I started to view them differently.

yeah physical attraction is important.
I just see lots of guys dating women that they perceive are 'out of their league' and the women don't find them attractive for the way they look and I'm sorry for me their perception is paramount

Reply 4

londonmyst

19

Yes, that's reasonable.
I'm personality attracted with a long list of deal-breakers that are mostly linked to personality, sexual compatibility, shared values and ambitions.

Reply 5

username5067940

OP

10

Original post by londonmyst

Yes, that's reasonable.
I'm personality attracted with a long list of deal-breakers that are mostly linked to personality, sexual compatibility, shared values and ambitions.

For me I'll be honest all of what you mentioned matters, but it's the girls perception of me that I care about the most, yes it most certainly is a dealbreaker for me

Reply 6

bored_7866

6

Original post by quantisedrobot

yeah physical attraction is important.
I just see lots of guys dating women that they perceive are 'out of their league' and the women don't find them attractive for the way they look and I'm sorry for me their perception is paramount

I think maybe for women physical attraction just isn't a huge deal.

I know personally I would definitely want my partner to find me attractive, but I'd want him to fall in love with me as in my personality, mindset etc because thats where you know whether or not you're compatible for life

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Once you fall in love with the personality the persons looks become so attractive

Reply 8

bored_7866

6

Original post by Anonymous

Once you fall in love with the personality the persons looks become so attractive

Yes! This is what I've been trying to say haha

Reply 9

username5067940

OP

10

need to find eachother physically attractive at first sight, sorry those are my own personal rules

Reply 10

username5253240

13

But then what if the people you find attractive ie your type all have **** personalities what then

Reply 11

Wallflower011

8

Yeah I agree that attraction is purely objective but should be mutual, however, for me personally physical attraction is only a small part of a relationship because if someone has an attractive face but an ugly personality, then their overall attractiveness is diminished.
I wouldn't want to date someone who has a bad personality or whose opinions or values really contradict my own, but differing opinions can also be a good conversation topic

Reply 12

username5067940

OP

10

Original post by haadiyahrashid

But then what if the people you find attractive ie your type all have **** personalities what then

then I wouldn't date them

yes I know this way isn't very effective in terms of figures but Quality>Quantity

Also, waiting till marriage so wouldn't do anything sexually till then (not even kiss)