Did I really miss out a lot by not dating at all so far and did I waste my time?

I am a 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before and never kissed or hugged a girl before. Hell I never really even interacted with a girl in person for years. Yeah when I was in elementary school, I had some female friends but ever since I entered middle school, I started being too shy near girls and didn't interact with girls throughout my middle school and high school days and most of my college life too.

I didn't mind being single in my teenage days even though I had some crushes but it was at age of 20 in 2021 when it hit me hard. Actually I live in the city Bangalore in India. Yeah I know this is a UK based website but I take dating advice from here because reddit people are very toxic and in Quora, you can't explain so much in detail. But yeah in 2021, I was very adamant that I will only date an American or European women because many Indian parents are conservative and don't like it if their son or daughter has a gf or bf. But I might have to wait a couple of years before I can move abroad and yet I kept daydreaming about dating a foreigner and trying to chat with American and European women online instead of giving girls in my city and college a try too so I wasted 2021 doing so.

Then last year, me and my parents went to the very posh area of our city Bangalore and saw very pretty girls who looked in the 18-25 age range so I thought of giving girls in my city a chance too as big metropolitan cities in India are less conservative than the smaller cities so dating is more common in bigger cities. But I was too shy to initiate convo with girls so I downloaded dating apps like tinder, Hinge and bumble but pretty much got no matches at all. I was 21 still in college so I was using free version of these apps. I did get crush on 2 girls in my college who were 19 and 20/21. I messaged them on Instagram and we had good chats but the 20/21 year old ghosted me and the 19 year old rejected and blocked me after I asked her out and then I continued searching on dating apps but little to no luck and I wasted 2022 too by only relying on dating apps.

Then in December 2022 after I turned 22, I started following and chatting with girls on Instagram who used to be in the same school as me and are all 18-23 year olds now(mostly 19-22 tho). I asked out 3 of those girls recently but they rejected and blocked me. I also had been chatting with my childhood friend(lets call her A) who is 21 now turning 22 soon and asked her out recently but she isn't that active on Instagram but she still replied positively but didn't say yet when we can meet. I also chat with another girl(lets call her B) who is in 1st year of college and I am in last year of college and she is 19 now and we chat daily but for the past 2-3 days we aren't chatting a lot as she is having exams in college but I am really afraid to ask her out even though her college is very near to my home and thats because so far, I just have been rejected. B is a really straightforward girl so I am afraid how she will react. We have been chatting since May 28th 2023. Honestly I still feel pretty behind now at 22 and feel like I am running out of time. I wish I used this Instagram method in 2021 itself instead of thinking about dating foreigners and wasting my time.

Reply 1

hanni_nj

Hi, I think you should just take a deep breath, don't panic. Lots of people don't find someone for years and years and don't think about what others might say or worry about their judgement. Don't try to rush into a relationship with any random girl but slowly get to know her and see if you guys have any similar hobbies/interests or values and don't rush into your feelings, once you have known her for a while, contemplate if this is someone you want to be with in the long-run. Join clubs to meet someone if you don't like dating apps or meet other girls through mutuals. You need to first work on yourself before you try to date someone else so if you lack confidence or have social anxiety etc, work to overcome this first. Hope this helps!