[M20] I only fall in love with people who are close friends first. What should I do?

I've felt like **** cause i fell in love with one of my best girl friends. We started as simple friends, we've traveled to Rome, we spent lots of time on our own, laugh a lot every time we meet in our friend group... but i realized i like her (romantically) cause she's a very close friend. I've given up on the idea of confessing my feelings to her, cause i know i'd lose her.

(let's not talk about this girl friend of mine. It's still a painful thing to talk about and i really don't want to spend more time thinking about her... let's just talk about the "I only fall in love with close friends, do you?" part)

It only happens this way... i see tons of beautiful/hot girls every day, but if we're not close friends, i don't feel any attraction for them.

This surely makes dating almost impossible (I'm 20 yo and never ever dated or kissed a girl) cause i only like to hang out with few people and rarely happens. Plus, i don't like night clubs and crowded spaces in general. I'd love to fall in love with a girl after some dates, but i know that's not how it works for me. i fall in love with a person who laughs with me, is as stupid as me, a person who really knows who i am. I know that's the main point of relationships, but i'd prefer to start one with a person i really really like.

Does it happen to anyone else?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I experience similar. I want to get into a relationship but the idea of dating someone I'm not already friendly/friends with just feels so uncomfy to me. I've tried dating apps but none feel right. And it's so hard as an adult to meet new people organically in person other than through work or friends-of-friends and that just means things can get awkward super quick. I'm actually currently working through feelings for a co-worker turned friend who doesn't feel the same way. It sucks.