why... just why?

For the past three years, I have been judged by women for no reason. i am sick and tired of this.

Here me out:

2017-2019 : I had a cursh on an attractive guy in my sixth form and this one girl asked me a question which was "do you like [his name]?" i responded yes. then she said he will never like you and told everyone in the sixth form which kinda made me feel sad so i decided to move on until december 2017.

I was going to be honest to him and say that i had a crush on him this whole time and i do not want to be in a relationship since i am not interested in dating [religious - i am religious and so are they] then the girl appeared into the situation, laughed at me then proceeded to say that she is dating him and i am nothing but a sad cow. she forced her friends to laugh and all i wanted to do was cry.

Ever since, that day happened, her boyfriend, her and her friends has been laughing at me, making me uncomfortable by pressuring him to assault me and lied to the head of sixth form that he did not try to touch me...

Then his friends [different friends] kept asking me to go to Dofe and i refused because i had a bad feeling since they were smiling at each other... apparently he was going to use me to have sex with him and everyone knew about the plan.

since i decided to stay, him and his girlfriend had sex and she became pregnant [not my business]. He did not want the baby so shse aborted the baby and decided to cheat on him with her ex.

Basically, it was a whole mess and no one believed that i was assaulted by him.

this all happened in the course of six months in year 12.

year 13... was a mess. I end up being in a toxic friendship and the sixth form did not give me any disability support expect "extra 30 mins" which did not work for me because i was in the same halls as everyone!! I failed my AS and was forced to go into foundation year...

Sep 2019 - june 2020

foundation year was a mess aswell because i was emotionally vulnerable and was in a environment of toxic people, i accidentally told them in an educational timeline that i was assaulted at sixth form and the guys had the nerve to sexaulise me, same with the women.

I was in another toxic friendship and was sexaulised a lot by strangers, people in my lectures and my own family started sexualising me as well :frown:

((( my tutor did not believe me so i decided to transfer to go into first year.

Also i forgot to mention i was made fun of for having a hearing loss. in decmeber 2019, this women who is a year older than me decided to give me dirty looks and tap her ear whilst saying "can't you hear me?" no one even did anything, they just looked at me like tbey were judging me and one of her friends who is 22 years old laughed at my face. i felt like i was at secondary school.

speaking of secondary school, i was bullied for five years and the teachers ignored me. i end up getting depression and anixety... i have not been the same since i was 7 years old.

I just want to know WHY???!!!! why do these women and men hurt me? what have i done to them? i was so close to OD myself this year because the pain is too much...

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I’m so sorry about that girl in sixthform she shouldn’t have told everyone, u are good enough for that person, she was most likely insecure about herself and u probably let her be like that to u instead of telling her that u don’t care or that she’s wrong so she took advantage of being horrible to u. U have done nothing wrong, just try to surround yourself round positive people, I would suggest being more harsher and if someone starts being mean to u then u defend yourself.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Hi, I am deeply sorry to hear what you have gone through. I just want to say never lose hope, IT WILL GET BETTER. Stay strong. You never deserved to be treated in such a horrific way by the people. Some people make other people's life miserable because there own life is that way and they have personal problem and a lot of it is to do with lack of maturity and empathy. I know it will be hard but the best way to heal personal wounds is through forgiveness and forgetting the past and moving ahead. The best thing to do is block these people out of your life and surround yourself with a tight net of friends and family. Block them definitely on social media. IF IT EVER FEELS TOO MUCH PLEASE CALL: 116 123 Samaritans (Available 24 hours) - a personal counsellor will help!!! Just think of the future, think of the good things you can do in life, your ambitions, what gives you meaning. A God who sees your pain and hurt will definitely help you!! :smile: