Will i ever be married/loved?

I'm 18, male and doing my A levels. I have never spoken nor done anything romantic with a girl. Now that will probably sound so weird coz it's not a "normal" thing in society, and now that I'm getting older im starting to feel different. And I just feel like if i continue to be like this, i will never find someone or marry someone and start a family. In my family everyone babies us, and conditions us to think we are still 12/13, hence why in my mind, just up until recently i realised that i need to start being romantically involved but also still shy away from the idea, im not sure why I. I'm really scared about my future and if there is someone for me, or if i am just destined to be without someone and have no kids, like i get quite worried thinking about it. Its also because i have family members who were like me at my age and now they are in their early 30s and still have not met anyone or been romantically involved and their parents are trying to set them up with someone. I think another reason why I'm like this is because I have very low self-esteem and if someone was attracted to me, I just wouldn't believe it and think they are joking, how do relationships even work? It just feels so heavy and I just turned 18, so I'm starting to think about my future and i just wish I could be 4 years old again, without a care in the world about anything. I hope someone could help. God bless you

Reply 1

username5955039

21

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 18, male and doing my A levels. I have never spoken nor done anything romantic with a girl. Now that will probably sound so weird coz it's not a "normal" thing in society, and now that I'm getting older im starting to feel different. And I just feel like if i continue to be like this, i will never find someone or marry someone and start a family. In my family everyone babies us, and conditions us to think we are still 12/13, hence why in my mind, just up until recently i realised that i need to start being romantically involved but also still shy away from the idea, im not sure why I. I'm really scared about my future and if there is someone for me, or if i am just destined to be without someone and have no kids, like i get quite worried thinking about it. Its also because i have family members who were like me at my age and now they are in their early 30s and still have not met anyone or been romantically involved and their parents are trying to set them up with someone. I think another reason why I'm like this is because I have very low self-esteem and if someone was attracted to me, I just wouldn't believe it and think they are joking, how do relationships even work? It just feels so heavy and I just turned 18, so I'm starting to think about my future and i just wish I could be 4 years old again, without a care in the world about anything. I hope someone could help. God bless you

Focus on education get your education done and out of the way, stabilise yourself into a job and start earning money then focus on being loved and getting married your 18

Reply 2

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 18, male and doing my A levels. I have never spoken nor done anything romantic with a girl. Now that will probably sound so weird coz it's not a "normal" thing in society, and now that I'm getting older im starting to feel different. And I just feel like if i continue to be like this, i will never find someone or marry someone and start a family. In my family everyone babies us, and conditions us to think we are still 12/13, hence why in my mind, just up until recently i realised that i need to start being romantically involved but also still shy away from the idea, im not sure why I. I'm really scared about my future and if there is someone for me, or if i am just destined to be without someone and have no kids, like i get quite worried thinking about it. Its also because i have family members who were like me at my age and now they are in their early 30s and still have not met anyone or been romantically involved and their parents are trying to set them up with someone. I think another reason why I'm like this is because I have very low self-esteem and if someone was attracted to me, I just wouldn't believe it and think they are joking, how do relationships even work? It just feels so heavy and I just turned 18, so I'm starting to think about my future and i just wish I could be 4 years old again, without a care in the world about anything. I hope someone could help. God bless you

Dude... you're only 18 ffs!

You've barely experienced adult life and I bet you haven't even started University yet (or maybe, you've done a month so far). Either way, you've got a long way to go before you can even think about it. You've got a fantastic opportunity to create a better life for yourself, if (and only if) you're prepared to take responsibility for it.

First off, do NOT judge or compare yourself against other family members. They are them, and you are you! Even if you are related and have lived together, and had the same upbringing your life experiences can still be very very different (look at the individuals in The Royal Family for a prime example). Not to mention, innate personality traits may also influence things.

Change your out look / mindset. Why do you think you're destined to be alone? What is the real rationale behind it? I don't know you, or your background so I'm not going to speculate... but I'm prepared to bet a rather large wager that it's something completely irrational and would fall apart when subject to real scrutiny. Why shouldn't any of the 3.5 billion girls & women on the planet find you attractive? What's wrong with you that makes you such an unlovable repulsive human being?

If you know why you've got low self-esteem, then take proactive steps to combat it. For example, if you don't like your body image (too fat / skinny etc.) then start exercising to get in shape. You don't need to commit to expensive gym memberships... there's loads of things on YouTube you can look at to get started. As for weights, there are more and more outdoor gym facilities springing up in parks etc. Also, as well as the obvious physical benefits, exercise releases endorphins and dopamine (basically "feel-good" hormones), so you'll also start to feel happier. Although this is only an example, I would strongly advise you to exercise (if you don't do so already).

If you don't know why you've got low self-esteem, then I'd suggest you get some kind of counselling service to get to the root cause of it. IT will all be done in the strictest of confidence, so no matter how bad or embarrassing it may be, no one else is ever going to find out (it's more than the counsellors job's worth to even think about discussing it with anyone). Once you've pin-pointed what the problem is, then you can work on finding a solution. The counsellor may even help you with this in some way or another. After all, if you can't love yourself, why should anyone else?

OK, put it this way... think of someone you admire or has gone on to do something completely great against the odds... it doesn't matter if it's flying the Space Shuttle... scoring the winning goal for their country in a World Cup final... or simply bagging that hottie they've had their eye on... They did NOT achieve it by sitting in their room saying over and over to themselves:- "it can't be done" _{(think about it)}

Will i ever be married/loved?

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