Dropping out of uni
I really can't decide if I should drop out of uni or not. I got into the shared accommodation and i honestly really struggled staying up there. I was so anxious it took me ages to leave my room to go up to the kitchen and i hated getting up in the morning and over thinking what to wear and how i looked before i went into the kitchen first thing in the morning. I was only there 4 days before going back home and ended up staying home because the covid cases started to rise in the accommodation. I absolutely hated high school, my anxiety was through the roof everyday i struggled with stomach aches and i was so quiet people thought i was weird and i was left out all the time. I went to uni hoping i could make friends but its just school all over again. I'm dreading going back up to the accommodation in January and then the face to face learning in march. I can't cope with this constant dread and unhappiness for another 3 years. I am talking to the counsellor but she hasnt been helpful so far. I just don't know what else to do. I've been so unhappy for years and i really wanted uni to be different. I dont know what i'd do if i did drop out. Sorry this was long
The length of this is fine don’t ever apologise for expressing yourself,
This is why I chose to stay at a uni more close to home and closer to the friends that I already have because I am antisocial as **** although the freedom would’ve been nice my anxiety would hit the sky moving in to an accommodation.
Side note: You’re at University to learn always remember that.. you’re not there for friends you’re there for your future and possibly your children’s future (if you plan or have any) ♥️ so what if you don’t make any friends now? I know it’s a nice experience to make and have friends and maybe get 1 or 2 life long friends along the way but don’t drop out because of that 😔.
If you want to make friends look for someone who reflects you and be more outgoing and say hi or even compliment someone... hit them with a ice-breaker “the weathers really *****y today haha” boom
I hope this helped
if anything reply back and you could add me on snapchat if you want?
This is why I chose to stay at a uni more close to home and closer to the friends that I already have because I am antisocial as **** although the freedom would’ve been nice my anxiety would hit the sky moving in to an accommodation.
Side note: You’re at University to learn always remember that.. you’re not there for friends you’re there for your future and possibly your children’s future (if you plan or have any) ♥️ so what if you don’t make any friends now? I know it’s a nice experience to make and have friends and maybe get 1 or 2 life long friends along the way but don’t drop out because of that 😔.
If you want to make friends look for someone who reflects you and be more outgoing and say hi or even compliment someone... hit them with a ice-breaker “the weathers really *****y today haha” boom
I hope this helped
if anything reply back and you could add me on snapchat if you want?Original post by hahaitsanonymous
The length of this is fine don’t ever apologise for expressing yourself,
This is why I chose to stay at a uni more close to home and closer to the friends that I already have because I am antisocial as **** although the freedom would’ve been nice my anxiety would hit the sky moving in to an accommodation.
Side note: You’re at University to learn always remember that.. you’re not there for friends you’re there for your future and possibly your children’s future (if you plan or have any) ♥️ so what if you don’t make any friends now? I know it’s a nice experience to make and have friends and maybe get 1 or 2 life long friends along the way but don’t drop out because of that 😔.
If you want to make friends look for someone who reflects you and be more outgoing and say hi or even compliment someone... hit them with a ice-breaker “the weathers really *****y today haha” boom
I hope this helped if anything reply back and you could add me on snapchat if you want?
This is why I chose to stay at a uni more close to home and closer to the friends that I already have because I am antisocial as **** although the freedom would’ve been nice my anxiety would hit the sky moving in to an accommodation.
Side note: You’re at University to learn always remember that.. you’re not there for friends you’re there for your future and possibly your children’s future (if you plan or have any) ♥️ so what if you don’t make any friends now? I know it’s a nice experience to make and have friends and maybe get 1 or 2 life long friends along the way but don’t drop out because of that 😔.
If you want to make friends look for someone who reflects you and be more outgoing and say hi or even compliment someone... hit them with a ice-breaker “the weathers really *****y today haha” boom
I hope this helped
if anything reply back and you could add me on snapchat if you want?My uni isn't that far away its about 45 mins and i can't get out of the accommodation so if i move home ill still have to pay for it
. If i wanted to move out i have to find someone myself to take my room which is so unlikely with covid and because first term is over. I know about uni being a place to learn i try to think like that but honestly the reason i went to uni was to try and make friends which idk if that was smart. The friends i have right now aren't great and i wanted to try meet some fun people. I'm just worried about sitting in my accommodation room all day on my own. The people on my floor have friends from school that are in the accommodation so they go out for lunch and stuff with them but i've nothing. I am going to join some clubs and societies but still they only happen in the evening. I wouldn't mind getting ur snapchat i just dont want to post mine up cuz im paranoid someone i know from school will read this haha.Original post by kates4745
life is to short to worry so much. Drop out if you are not happy
I know but i just don't know what i would do instead
.Original post by Anonymous
I really can't decide if I should drop out of uni or not. I got into the shared accommodation and i honestly really struggled staying up there. I was so anxious it took me ages to leave my room to go up to the kitchen and i hated getting up in the morning and over thinking what to wear and how i looked before i went into the kitchen first thing in the morning. I was only there 4 days before going back home and ended up staying home because the covid cases started to rise in the accommodation. I absolutely hated high school, my anxiety was through the roof everyday i struggled with stomach aches and i was so quiet people thought i was weird and i was left out all the time. I went to uni hoping i could make friends but its just school all over again. I'm dreading going back up to the accommodation in January and then the face to face learning in march. I can't cope with this constant dread and unhappiness for another 3 years. I am talking to the counsellor but she hasnt been helpful so far. I just don't know what else to do. I've been so unhappy for years and i really wanted uni to be different. I dont know what i'd do if i did drop out. Sorry this was long
See your GP. Seems like you wqnet with significant anxiety issues, lack of confidence and underdeveloped social skills. The idea you would just make friends and everything would be rosy appears to have been unrealistic. I dont think it will get any better for you as you will be reminded of the same issues if not worse as your flat will have bonded which starts a vicious circle.
How about the uni and studying? Are you ok with that?
In your position I would have a think, do a pros and cons, see the GP and look up the withdrawal procedure. If you dont think you can make it better, then I would withdraw via a doctors note and the uni acknowledging youy left due to mh issues.
I would then work on my self esteem/ anxiety issues and only when they are under control would I work out a way toi try again. Its a very common situation made worse by cv19 restricting the student experience.
Original post by 999tigger
See your GP. Seems like you wqnet with significant anxiety issues, lack of confidence and underdeveloped social skills. The idea you would just make friends and everything would be rosy appears to have been unrealistic. I dont think it will get any better for you as you will be reminded of the same issues if not worse as your flat will have bonded which starts a vicious circle.
How about the uni and studying? Are you ok with that?
In your position I would have a think, do a pros and cons, see the GP and look up the withdrawal procedure. If you dont think you can make it better, then I would withdraw via a doctors note and the uni acknowledging youy left due to mh issues.
I would then work on my self esteem/ anxiety issues and only when they are under control would I work out a way toi try again. Its a very common situation made worse by cv19 restricting the student experience.
How about the uni and studying? Are you ok with that?
In your position I would have a think, do a pros and cons, see the GP and look up the withdrawal procedure. If you dont think you can make it better, then I would withdraw via a doctors note and the uni acknowledging youy left due to mh issues.
I would then work on my self esteem/ anxiety issues and only when they are under control would I work out a way toi try again. Its a very common situation made worse by cv19 restricting the student experience.
Yea the thought of going to make friends was unrealistic. Idk everyone kept saying uni would be so different and i thought because i wasn't in school i could fake confidence and make friends. And when i had no school because of covid/summer i was more relaxed and i thought maybe i wouldn't be as nervous, obviously that was because of no school. I did go to my GP before about the stomach aches and they mentioned anxiety but didn't give me anything. Then another GP said that i cant help it if im an anxious person its just who i am (no joke). I hated going into the doctors and it was horrible leaving with nothing (i seen a few doctors with same problem). Also i was like 16/17 so my mum made the appointments but now im 18 so have to book myself and i just can't get the confidence to ring in. I know it sounds stupid but i really did go to uni mostly to make friends and have fun. I never liked studying i always crammed the night before and idk i guess i was lucky and ended up doing well in my exams. But i honestly think if i was happy and comfortable at uni i would put in the work no problem, i think thats why i didn't do as good as i could of in school because i was too busy dreading the next day i didn't do any work.
Original post by Anonymous
Yea the thought of going to make friends was unrealistic. Idk everyone kept saying uni would be so different and i thought because i wasn't in school i could fake confidence and make friends. And when i had no school because of covid/summer i was more relaxed and i thought maybe i wouldn't be as nervous, obviously that was because of no school. I did go to my GP before about the stomach aches and they mentioned anxiety but didn't give me anything. Then another GP said that i cant help it if im an anxious person its just who i am (no joke). I hated going into the doctors and it was horrible leaving with nothing (i seen a few doctors with same problem). Also i was like 16/17 so my mum made the appointments but now im 18 so have to book myself and i just can't get the confidence to ring in. I know it sounds stupid but i really did go to uni mostly to make friends and have fun. I never liked studying i always crammed the night before and idk i guess i was lucky and ended up doing well in my exams. But i honestly think if i was happy and comfortable at uni i would put in the work no problem, i think thats why i didn't do as good as i could of in school because i was too busy dreading the next day i didn't do any work.
The reason to go to the doctors is it could be very important for you in the future in terms of funding, just tell them the traits you have and how its affected your uni experience and MH so that you feel you need to leave. Write it in a letter if you have to. Explain it to the uni and your tutor. Going home after 4 days says it all really. You just werent ready.
In any event you can get your skills up and your mH under control and try uni at a later stage when you know you are ready.
from personal experience as someone who dropped out first year and went to another uni the year after because how anxious and lonely I felt, it may not be the right uni/course/ accommodation for you and there's nothing wrong with swapping accommodation, dropping out and trying again, or even just commuting until you feel better. You are at uni during a pandemic, which has made it really hard to be sociable so be kind to yourself. Also look into getting some different mental health support if you can because it seems like that migt really help you feel more confident and it will benefit you in the long run! You are not 'weird' you are lacking in self esteem and are anxious and you need some techniques to cope with that. This is not a permanent feeling, you just have to promise to yourself that you come first always. Either you'll continue, keep feeling that way and drop out, and go somewhere else next year, or you'll go back and hopefully with better support, be able to make some friends and feel okay at uni. These are your two options. Neither of them involve you suffering with this feeling for three years, because NOTHING is worth that, not even a degree.
Original post by Anonymous
I know but i just don't know what i would do instead .
.Maybe you should look at other universities too? the culture and vibes can depend a lot on where you are. Talk to your parents or if there's anyone else other than the counsellor at school.
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