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Is he desperate ?

If a guy has no interest in knowing you as a person, makes no effort to talk to you on his own except getting close when together, staring at places he shouldn't stare at, and pulls away or ghosts you if he doesn't get what he expected like kissing or physical intimacy after 1 or 2 date only, does this mean he's desperate or creepy?

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Original post by Anonymous
If a guy has no interest in knowing you as a person, makes no effort to talk to you on his own except getting close when together, staring at places he shouldn't stare at, and pulls away or ghosts you if he doesn't get what he expected like kissing or physical intimacy after 1 or 2 date only, does this mean he's desperate or creepy?

From what you've said I don't think he has an interest in a relationship and he could be looking for a quick fling. I'm basing this on the fact that he has no interest in getting to know you as a person as well as the pulling away and ghosting if certain conditions aren't met. As for the staring, it suggests interest in a one night stand kind of way.

Either way, I don't reckon they're the right person for a relationship based on the fact that they don't seem to show any interest in your personality and what you're interested in. They also don't seem to want to go at a comfortable pace for you based on the ghosting and pulling away as well as staring at certain places
Reply 2
Original post by Reddy5001
From what you've said I don't think he has an interest in a relationship and he could be looking for a quick fling. I'm basing this on the fact that he has no interest in getting to know you as a person as well as the pulling away and ghosting if certain conditions aren't met. As for the staring, it suggests interest in a one night stand kind of way.

Either way, I don't reckon they're the right person for a relationship based on the fact that they don't seem to show any interest in your personality and what you're interested in. They also don't seem to want to go at a comfortable pace for you based on the ghosting and pulling away as well as staring at certain places

Sucks tbh. I had such high hopes and respected him. But this is so disheartening 😥
Original post by Anonymous
Sucks tbh. I had such high hopes and respected him. But this is so disheartening 😥

It will be disheartening and that's understandable but if he was interested in you for a relationship then he'd make time to get to know about you and your personality. This will take time to recover from but you'll find better people out there who will talk to you and make an effort to get to know you as a person without ghosting or pulling away
Reply 4
Original post by Reddy5001
It will be disheartening and that's understandable but if he was interested in you for a relationship then he'd make time to get to know about you and your personality. This will take time to recover from but you'll find better people out there who will talk to you and make an effort to get to know you as a person without ghosting or pulling away

I noticed it right away that he would stare a lot then he proceeded to check me out when I first chat with him. He looked at my chest and my bottom area even though I was wearing dress with a turtleneck underneath it. Later on I had caught him looking at my legs whilst I was wearing sheer tights.
It was kind of a giveaway I guess :/
Original post by Anonymous
I noticed it right away that he would stare a lot then he proceeded to check me out when I first chat with him. He looked at my chest and my bottom area even though I was wearing dress with a turtleneck underneath it. Later on I had caught him looking at my legs whilst I was wearing sheer tights.
It was kind of a giveaway I guess :/

Yes they are signs that he was checking you out but the way he was suggests that he didn't want a relationship otherwise he would've got to know you a bit better. you'll find better people in time who are more interested in you as a person rather than just looks and I'd just say don't rush anything :smile:
Reply 6
Original post by Reddy5001
Yes they are signs that he was checking you out but the way he was suggests that he didn't want a relationship otherwise he would've got to know you a bit better. you'll find better people in time who are more interested in you as a person rather than just looks and I'd just say don't rush anything :smile:

Is there any hope he can speak to me again? I really enjoyed talking to him tho :/
Original post by Anonymous
If a guy has no interest in knowing you as a person, makes no effort to talk to you on his own except getting close when together, staring at places he shouldn't stare at, and pulls away or ghosts you if he doesn't get what he expected like kissing or physical intimacy after 1 or 2 date only, does this mean he's desperate or creepy?

I think that you should stray away from him, little by little :frown: . Even the worst flirts show emotion when trying to get to know someone and evidently he's shown neither emotion or interest in deeply getting to know you. It's best if you reject his advances now, even if I could be wrong, because it's just a red flag that there's already so much physical intimacy after 1/2 dates but no emotional connection. Trust your gut instinct and your brain as opposed to your heart. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Is there any hope he can speak to me again? I really enjoyed talking to him tho :/

I'd be careful if you choose to and set clear boundaries. However, if he makes you feel uncomfortable then the best thing to do is walk away as there will be other people out there to talk to that you could meet through hobbies, interests or work.
Reply 9
Original post by Reddy5001
I'd be careful if you choose to and set clear boundaries. However, if he makes you feel uncomfortable then the best thing to do is walk away as there will be other people out there to talk to that you could meet through hobbies, interests or work.

Do you think he's a bit perverted??? He does have this habit of staring at places he shouldn't.
Original post by blueskyeyed
I think that you should stray away from him, little by little :frown: . Even the worst flirts show emotion when trying to get to know someone and evidently he's shown neither emotion or interest in deeply getting to know you. It's best if you reject his advances now, even if I could be wrong, because it's just a red flag that there's already so much physical intimacy after 1/2 dates but no emotional connection. Trust your gut instinct and your brain as opposed to your heart. :smile:

We didn't sleep or kiss. Hence he started acting weird
Original post by Anonymous
We didn't sleep or kiss. Hence he started acting weird

Ahh, I see! Well to be honest it still speaks for his character. After 1 or 2 dates he'd be lucky to even hold your hand or receive a hug.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you think he's a bit perverted??? He does have this habit of staring at places he shouldn't.

I would say that continually staring suggests that he doesn't have an interest in a relationship and is most likely interested in a one night stand. I also reckon constant staring is creepy and is very likely to make people uncomfortable but I don't think it wholly crosses the line of being a pervert. It's something that he needs to be challenged on as it isn't right and makes you feel uncomfortable
Original post by blueskyeyed
Ahh, I see! Well to be honest it still speaks for his character. After 1 or 2 dates he'd be lucky to even hold your hand or receive a hug.

He even stopped hugging after the 2nd meeting.
Original post by Anonymous
If a guy has no interest in knowing you as a person, makes no effort to talk to you on his own except getting close when together, staring at places he shouldn't stare at, and pulls away or ghosts you if he doesn't get what he expected like kissing or physical intimacy after 1 or 2 date only, does this mean he's desperate or creepy?


He definitely is not taking you seriously and is pursuing a purely physical relationship, and I would agree going about it in a rather creepy and desperate way. You can do much better! Good thing it's only been a couple of dates, drop him early on and find someone that will have more respect for you and themselves.
Original post by N1GHTSH4D3
He definitely is not taking you seriously and is pursuing a purely physical relationship, and I would agree going about it in a rather creepy and desperate way. You can do much better! Good thing it's only been a couple of dates, drop him early on and find someone that will have more respect for you and themselves.

Would he completely shut me off or try to pursue again?
Original post by Anonymous
Would he completely shut me off or try to pursue again?

Considering he already ghosts you over not being physical, he would probably move on fairly fast to someone he can get something physical from, that seems to be all he is after. I am very sorry you are going through this dilemma, you truly are worth more than this and I hope that comes to you soon!
Just means he's desperate. Some guys have the misfortune of not being great with women or not being very good looking.
Original post by N1GHTSH4D3
Considering he already ghosts you over not being physical, he would probably move on fairly fast to someone he can get something physical from, that seems to be all he is after. I am very sorry you are going through this dilemma, you truly are worth more than this and I hope that comes to you soon!

He was winking at me last time while waving at me . And I feel like he looks at when I'm online because twice when I was online, and I looked at his chats with mine, he was online but left quickly
Original post by bunnyrabbit2
Just means he's desperate. Some guys have the misfortune of not being great with women or not being very good looking.

He's OK looking but he thinks he's very good looking from what I can tell from his photos

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