Going well with a woman for 2 months, but now I think she is seeing someone else

•

Been seeing a woman (mother of two (3&5)) for 2 months. Some ups and downs, but overall good.

•

She kind of built my hopes up that it could develop into something - she told me early on she was seeing only me, invited me on holiday, has talked to her friends about me

•

Just on Monday this week (27 March 2023), we were intimate, including on public transport, which she initiated

•

We were writing normally up until 4pm yesterday (Thurs, 30 March 2023). However, she didn't write again until just past 11pm, and when she did, she wrote short messages (usually a sign something is wrong with her) and said that she just wanted an evening without the internet. However... 1) she didn't mention this to me. 2) she read a message I sent at 20:30. The fact that she replied just after 11pm also leads me to believe she was with someone else because she has to be home by 11pm.

•

We did not write to each other at all on Friday 31 March. We have never gone a whole day without writing. At the beginning, she would write if I did not message her within a few hours or so.

•

So, I am convinced she is now seeing someone else, despite everything seemingly going well until just a few hours beforehand.

•

•

Not write until she writes (if she writes)?

•

Write first, but what?

•

I (33m) matched with a woman (31f, with 2 young kids) on Tinder at end of Jan 2023.

•

I am Western European; she is Eastern European; we live in central Europe. We speak to each other in what is the 2nd language for each of us; we write on WhatsApp in her native language (my 3rd language).

•

She asks me out first. I cannot attend the date she suggested, so I suggest another time. We meet and have a good time, so we agree a 2nd date.

•

During the 2nd date, we are outside but in a private place kissing for about an hour. During the time, she tells me she has deleted Tinder*.* I walk her home (I know she won't invite me in because she lives with her mother and children. It's kind of unspoken, but she will never invite me to her place because her kids are there.)

•

3rd date - she asks me why I haven't invited her back to my place yet. I say that I don't want her to think I am interested in one thing. She says that coming to my apartment =/= sex. I say, yes, but I don't want you to think that that is what I think.

•

4th date - we have a great time together. However, when we are on the metro back back to hers (we are holding hands and she has her head on my shoulder), 2 stops before her stop, she says, "2 stops"; I jokingly say, "yes, and then I can finally say 'bye!' to you!" She gets off a stop early and says she is offended by my joke. I wasn't sure whether she was being serious: she was. I ask if she wants to discuss it now or later. She says later. When I get back to my apartment, she says that she overreacted and was too aggressive, and I shouldn't take things to heart. I say, "we are still getting to know each other". Orange/red flag.

•

5th date - she asks to have a picture together.

•

We are probably in late Feb/early March now. We text throughout the day, and overall things are going well.

•

We agree to meet on a Friday; however, she has to cancel because she cannot find someone to look after the kids. No problem. I have dated mothers before, and this happens.

•

Saturday is the birthday of one of her children. I had thought that maybe we would see each other in the evening. In the morning, she says she will be without internet... and doesn't write for the rest of the day.

•

Sunday, still nothing, so I write to her in the early evening. She writes back and seems down. She asks if I'd like to meet for a walk in the evening. I am convinced that she wants to stop seeing me. I go to meet her and say immediately, "Look if you want to stop seeing me, it's okay". She laughs and asks if I am being serious. She hugs me, tells me I am being paranoid, and we go on to have a nice evening.

•

Some time during the week, she asks again why I haven't invited her to mine. I tell her that the apartment is messy, which is true, and that she can come soon.

•

It's about this time that we start sending each other explicit photos and sexting a lot.

•

One lunchtime we are supposed to meet, but a few hours before, she says she cannot come because it is the birthday of someone on the day course she is doing. I was quite upset because we had agreed to go to lunch first, yet she wanted to go to the birthday of someone on the course. I do not react. I don't write; she says, "you're offended, aren't you?". I eventually say, "No, go and have fun." She says, "no, I'll come to you". I say, "no, go to the birthday". I could have made an issue, but I got the impression that she was trying to test/provoke me.

•

Her sister visits.

•

One Sunday night, I go to the bar with her and her sister. Her sister is speaking to a guy, so we slip outside... for more than an hour. She touches me down there and tells me she wants me.

•

When we go back into the bar, we're having a laugh, and at one point, I says, "**** you!" jokingly. She says, "yes! **** me, please!"

•

Later in the week, we agree to go to lunch again. However, she says she doesn't want to eat out, she wants to come to mine. I tell her "no" again, but that she can come to mine at the weekend.

•

During this week, she says she wants to go on holiday and asks if I would like to come with her.

•

At the weekend, she comes to mine. We are both naked giving each other oral and manual sex. It's great. Unfortunately, when I put the condom on, I lost my erection... and it was game over. Obviously, it was not ideal. At the time, she was okay about it, but when she was back home, she said, "maybe you just don't want me". I reassure her I do, but that I was very stressed, which I was, and putting the condom on was the problem.

•

Things are okay for the next week or two.

•

The only exception was at one point just before I went to bed, she said, "I am jealous that you visited your female friend tonight". She asked if I would be jealous if she visited a male friend. I said, "I'll tell you tomorrow ", jokingly. When I did tell her that I would be, she was angry that I had not asked her question immediately and gave me the short answer treatment. Another orange flag.

•

Last weekend now. She is visiting her sister who is out of town on Sunday, but we think we can see each other in the evening. She says that we may be able to see each other later than we had hoped, but she is not sure. I tell her that my evening is free, so just keep me updated. She tells me that she she will get home at 20:30, and it will take her an hour to put the kids to sleep. I assume from her message that that means that we won't be able to meet. I say, "you must be tired. At least you had 2 nice days with your sister. " She lashes out and says, "you had no intention of meeting tonight". When I say, "excuse me?", she just says, "nothing". When I explained my POV, she said "sure". I said, "I'll say it once more and once more only: I wanted to see you". She says, "topic closed", and we actually speak like normal human beings for the rest of the evening and agree that she will come to mine on Monday night.

•

She comes around but says no sex because she is on her period. Fine. We order food but don't eat it because we are being physical the whole night. She tells me I have a gorgeous body (I am a gymrat). She gives me oral sex (no erection problems this time!), and I ejaculate in her mouth. She swallows.

•

On the metro back to hers, she is touching me down there on the train.

•

The rest of the week seems fine. She says she dreamt of having sex and wishes I was next to her. We exchange messages as normal

•

However, on Thursday night (30 March 2023), she didn't write until just past 11pm. She was writing short messages (usually a sign something is wrong with her) and said that she just wanted an evening without the internet. However... 1) she didn't mention this to me. 2) she read a message I sent at 20:30. That she replied just after 11pm also leads me to believe she was with someone else because she has to be home by 11pm.

•

We did not write to each other at all on Friday 31 March. We have never gone a whole day without writing. At the beginning, she would write if I did not message her within a few hours or so.

•

So, I am convinced she is now seeing someone else, despite everything seemingly going well until just a few hours beforehand.

•

Not write until she writes?

•

Write first, but what?