I have been with my partner for three and half years. I met them when I was doing my undergrad degree. They are currently living at home temporarily, and I’m doing a master’s degree in creative writing, which I also did for my undergrad. I really love it and was very excited about this year. The only problem is that I’ve been suffering with severe mental health issues, to the point where I recently went to hospital for self-harm due to the way my partner’s grandmother speaks to me. I have to see her a lot more now. I’m going to compile a list of horrible things she has said:
2020: Asking me “so what business does someone with dyslexia have being at university?” Then later that night warning my partner to be careful of me due to my disability.
2021: Threatening me as a warning to not be “bad to my partner.” We’d been together for two years at this point and I’d never done anything bad during that time. It came completely unprompted; I hadn’t done anything.
2022: Getting drunk and leaving the kitchen in a mess, then the next morning telling me to clean up “my mess” when she’d left it there in the first place. When my partner pointed out that it was her’s, she laughed and walked out.
2022: Getting drunk and being really inappropriate about my grandmother who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. I’m not even going to repeat what was said.
Ongoing: Turning the rest of the family against me. I used to get on with my partner’s grandfather, now he’s suddenly gone off me too. Their mum still seems alright though, it’s her that allows me to come over.
2022 – 2023: Encouraging my partner to date other people. Whenever they describes someone, they’re friends with she’ll make an inappropriate comment about the person then go “that’s what you want.”
Ongoing: Treating me like a layabout that has never and will never achieve anything. Never acknowledging my accomplishments. She never asks about my master’s degree, or even acknowledges that I’m doing anything with my life. Around the house I often clean up after her mess, and in better days I used to make family meals for everyone before she convinced them I was bad news.
Ongoing: If someone praises me and I start feeling confident, she’ll make a snide comment to put me down again.
2022: My partner went on a trip to Poland one time. At the time I was looking for us to get a place together and she told me “Forget about them, they’re moving away.” They literally only went for a summer trip.
There are so many more things I could say, but I think that will do. Is she right? Am I a pathetic failure, or is she just mean? I understood her issue with me (and it was bad) I would change it, but she’s got no interest in talking to me whatsoever. I also wanted to point out she does a lot of this stuff when my partner is not in the room. My partner isn’t falling for it though, they’re sick of her too. What should I do?