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Black Boys wanting White girls

My Black crush says he likes me but he also said he has a specific taste in girls, and that he likes White girls. I got offended because I felt like all the Black boys were chasing girls of another race and they couldn't date their own. ***I'm not trying to be racist I'm just stating my point of view. How do I interact with him? ***I have a hard time talking to him.
Reply 1
Aren't we all the same race - the human race?
Original post by r_ae113
My Black crush says he likes me but he also said he has a specific taste in girls, and that he likes White girls. I got offended because I felt like all the Black boys were chasing girls of another race and they couldn't date their own. ***I'm not trying to be racist I'm just stating my point of view. How do I interact with him? ***I have a hard time talking to him.

I take it you are a black girl?

If he likes you, then I don't see why he can't make an exception. It's not like it's family or religious pressures that's preventing him... it's just his pride or ego.

Unfortunately, what he's doing is not unusual...there are a lot of black people (both guys and girls) who refuse to date other black people for various reasons. Some have a dim view of other black people, while others it's a trophy / status symbol. Although I don't agree with not dating someone purely due to their ethnicity, it's their choice. What I disagree with is the way some of them will completely trash other black people. I mean, you can have your preferences, but you don't need to be a d**k about

All you can do is ask him out, and see what he actually says. If he says, "No" then look at it as his loss. F**k him off and find someone who will like you for who / what you are (they're out there somewhere, you've just got to find them).

Original post by Surnia
Aren't we all the same race - the human race?

Although this is technically true, it's not really helping the OP is it.

When it comes to attraction, attention etc. it's often said on this board that black girls are considered at the bottom of the pile; dark skinned girls, in particular have a tough time. Rather than being smart, can't you show her a little more support?
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 3
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I take it you are a black girl?

If he likes you, then I don't see why he can't make an exception. It's not like it's family or religious pressures that's preventing him... it's just his pride or ego.

Unfortunately, what he's doing is not unusual...there are a lot of black people (both guys and girls) who refuse to date other black people for various reasons. Some have a dim view of other black people, while others it's a trophy / status symbol. Although I don't agree with not dating someone purely due to their ethnicity, it's their choice. What I disagree with is the way some of them will completely trash other black people. I mean, you can have your preferences, but you don't need to be a d**k about

All you can do is ask him out, and see what he actually says. If he says, "No" then look at it as his loss. F**k him off and find someone who will like you for who / what you are (they're out there somewhere, you've just got to find them).


Although this is technically true, it's not really helping the OP is it.

When it comes to attraction, attention etc. it's often said on this board that black girls are considered at the bottom of the pile; dark skinned girls, in particular have a tough time. Rather than being smart, can't you show her a little more support?
Thank you so much. I just got a update from him. He told me he may have a crush on me and might lose feelings if I don't ask him out. But school just let out and I'm thinking on asking him on Monday. I feel a little jealous because he dabbed up a Whitw girl. But I guess it's not my fault. Yes, I am a Black girl too. Lol, I didn't reference that. Sorry. Even if we do start dating, I don't know if I should hold hands or hug him. I think saying I love you may be too early or something. I'm also thinking of telling him I like him on Snapchat. Thanks!
Reply 4
Original post by Surnia
Aren't we all the same race - the human race?
I meant race as in ethnicity
Original post by r_ae113
Thank you so much. I just got a update from him. He told me he may have a crush on me and might lose feelings if I don't ask him out. But school just let out and I'm thinking on asking him on Monday.


If you like him, ask him. No big gestures, just keep it simple & see if he wants to do something together after school, or over the weekend.

I feel a little jealous because he dabbed up a White girl. But I guess it's not my fault. Yes, I am a Black girl too. Lol, I didn't reference that. Sorry.


I think the best advice I can give you here, is to stop comparing yourself to white girls; this will only result in an inferiority complex. IMHO, every ethnic group has their fair share of stunners (amazingly beautiful people); girl / boy next door types (not stunning, but comfortably above average); average Joe's / Joanne's as well as those who are less attractive (I don't like the word "ugly" lol). Black girls have their own unique set of qualities that a lot of guys like, and makes them special. It's certainly a lot better now than it was in the previous century for you, as more and more guys these days like black girls. Learn to appreciate your own assets and work it baby :wink:

Even if we do start dating, I don't know if I should hold hands or hug him. I think saying I love you may be too early or something. I'm also thinking of telling him I like him on Snapchat. Thanks!


Whoa... slow down tiger... you're not quite walking down the isle in a white dress just yet. πŸ’‘πŸ½ 🀣🀫

I know it's always exciting (and a bit scary) when you start dating someone, but you need to be careful not to come on too strong or get carried away. All of this sort of stuff needs to happen naturally; you can't really plan or force these things, so just play it by ear. When you're "hanging out", notice how close he walks by you and his body-language, in general. If it's close, maybe "accidentally" brush your arm against his... if he's OK with it, he'll let it happen again and again (subconsciously, he'll know what's happening); if not he's likely to put some distance. If it happens more than a few times, then maybe gently take his hand.

Declaring feelings etc. normally comes a bit later in the relationship, so don't rush it (N.B. It can be very painful if you tell someone you love them and they don't say it back). Instead, maybe stroke his ego... if he's really good at something, tell him, and say how great the time you spend together and that you really enjoy his company (you're basically saying you like him... but it's in a slightly softer, safer way). He's also less likely to get scared off (it can happen if you go in 'all guns blazing')
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 6
Original post by Old Skool Freak
If you like him, ask him. No big gestures, just keep it simple & see if he wants to do something together after school, or over the weekend.



I think the best advice I can give you here, is to stop comparing yourself to white girls; this will only result in an inferiority complex. IMHO, every ethnic group has their fair share of stunners (amazingly beautiful people); girl / boy next door types (not stunning, but comfortably above average); average Joe's / Joanne's as well as those who are less attractive (I don't like the word "ugly" lol). Black girls have their own unique set of qualities that a lot of guys like, and makes them special. It's certainly a lot better now than it was in the previous century for you, as more and more guys these days like black girls. Learn to appreciate your own assets and work it baby :wink:



Whoa... slow down tiger... you're not quite walking down the isle in a white dress just yet. πŸ’‘πŸ½ 🀣🀫

I know it's always exciting (and a bit scary) when you start dating someone, but you need to be careful not to come on too strong or get carried away. All of this sort of stuff needs to happen naturally; you can't really plan or force these things, so just play it by ear. When you're "hanging out", notice how close he walks by you and his body-language, in general. If it's close, maybe "accidentally" brush your arm against his... if he's OK with it, he'll let it happen again and again (subconsciously, he'll know what's happening); if not he's likely to put some distance. If it happens more than a few times, then maybe gently take his hand.

Declaring feelings etc. normally comes a bit later in the relationship, so don't rush it (N.B. It can be very painful if you tell someone you love them and they don't say it back). Instead, maybe stroke his ego... if he's really good at something, tell him, and say how great the time you spend together and that you really enjoy his company (you're basically saying you like him... but it's in a slightly softer, safer way). He's also less likely to get scared off (it can happen if you go in 'all guns blazing')
Oml, thank you, thank you, so much :smile:. You sound like a master at these things. I'll take your advice on the body language and how to tell him. He DID say he wanted to be friends but I really don't want to be stuck in the friends zone. I'm thinking on having another friend with me so I won't be too scared to confess. Or should I confess over text?
Bringing another friend with you can be awkward, have your friend in the background.

You can have them there if your confidence is there if you need too but it might be an awkward 3 wheel.
Original post by r_ae113
Oml, thank you, thank you, so much :smile:. You sound like a master at these things. I'll take your advice on the body language and how to tell him. He DID say he wanted to be friends but I really don't want to be stuck in the friends zone. I'm thinking on having another friend with me so I won't be too scared to confess. Or should I confess over text?
I'd have thought having a friend with you would have been more awkward, no? If he said "no", then they're a witness if it all goes pear-shaped.

Look, you don't have to "confess" anything at this stage, you're just asking to spend some more quality time with him. Just keep it simple just tell him you think he's cool, good looking or whatever's attracted you to him. It's not a good idea to declare feelings etc. early on (especially before you're officially a couple lol).
Reply 9
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I'd have thought having a friend with you would have been more awkward, no? If he said "no", then they're a witness if it all goes pear-shaped.

Look, you don't have to "confess" anything at this stage, you're just asking to spend some more quality time with him. Just keep it simple just tell him you think he's cool, good looking or whatever's attracted you to him. It's not a good idea to declare feelings etc. early on (especially before you're officially a couple lol).
Yeah, he said he may have a crush on me, but unfortunatly our conversation got interuppted :frown:
Reply 10
Original post by Faultybot
Bringing another friend with you can be awkward, have your friend in the background.

You can have them there if your confidence is there if you need too but it might be an awkward 3 wheel.
Yeah...that may be awkward
Original post by r_ae113
Yeah, he said he may have a crush on me, but unfortunatly our conversation got interuppted :frown:

Try again... at least you've got the ball rolling now :thumbsup:
Reply 12
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Try again... at least you've got the ball rolling now :thumbsup:
He likes me back! And now we're dating!
Original post by r_ae113
He likes me back! And now we're dating!


That's brilliant news, congratulations!
Reply 14
Thanks!

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