Is it stupid going to medical school at 40 just to prove to myself im capable?

I have a void deep inside me. I feel like I have underachieved in life because ive never pushed myself to become the kind of person I always wanted to be.

That person would be a very successful intelligent person who also has a prestige career (such as a doctor)

At 40, with my life practically reaching the wrong side of youth, have I missed my chance?

It it wise going to medical school to become a doctor? Or is it just a very stupid idea?

As the title says, the main reason is just to prove to myself I am capable and worthy of doing something so prestigious, and maybe that's not a good enough reason, but I also don't want to have regrets when I am much older.

Anyone have any words of wisdom?

I have a void deep inside me. I feel like I have underachieved in life because ive never pushed myself to become the kind of person I always wanted to be.

That person would be a very successful intelligent person who also has a prestige career (such as a doctor)

At 40, with my life practically reaching the wrong side of youth, have I missed my chance?

It it wise going to medical school to become a doctor? Or is it just a very stupid idea?

As the title says, the main reason is just to prove to myself I am capable and worthy of doing something so prestigious, and maybe that's not a good enough reason, but I also don't want to have regrets when I am much older.

Anyone have any words of wisdom?

Going to medical school "just to prove to myself im capable" and "worthy of doing something so prestigious" is not very wise. Your question implies that you know that.

If you have a desire for "a prestige career" (which is a very dubious aim in itself), are there none where you actually want that career for reasons other than the perceived prestige? By that I mean careers that you might actually enjoy, or have some affinity for?

You do realise that there is rather more to being a doctor (and, for that matter, studying Medicine) than flattering your own ego, right?

Naïve view, possibly, but take it from one who spent their entire career in what one might describe as a 'medicine adjacent' profession - patients deserve better.

That's the irritating thing, I have no actual desires, or passions in life, other than becoming the best version of myself. But career wise, none really.

Ive been asking myself for years, how do I achieve such inner prosperity and fulfill this void inside me, and, like many people I turned to health and fitness first. I became the healthiest version of myself through exercise and diet etc... but that void was still there. I am still not satisfied with my life and career.

When I think of all the careers paths I could go down, becoming a Doctor is the only one that makes me feel worthy and self respected. I think because, in my eyes, it's the cream of the crop when it comes to careers.

Perhaps close second would be a Teacher or even a Psychologist etc, (knowing I would be contributing in some way towards other peoples welfare etc)

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to reply. Much appreciated.

Some excellent points put forward by others. Not going to really open the medicine box, but thoughts on age incoming.

I am older then you. And not the best physical version of myself !

Its interesting to me that prestige is often considered as the salary / the perceived respect from others etc. Neither of these are really currently that high on the scale for doctors esp junior doctors and given your age when you get out of training, you may not have time to enjoy a long period of time at a higher grade. Appreciation and salary are lower than you may think.

However, what you appear to be talking about is a sense of internal achievement and personal fulfilment. I can relate to that. I am "healthcare adjacent" as someone else put it and I have spent a lot of time over the last few years thinking the same. Frankly, in my case, I suspect it is a case of a good old-fashioned mid age crisis. What have I really contributed, what have I done, what could I do or be kinda thing. I have come to the conclusion that if I am not getting these feels from my current job rather than push for promotion or more cash, to think about what I can give, or give back outside work to get that same sense of accomplishment or value.

I am picking up the volunteering pace and am gaining a sense of being valued and contribution through that, one way or another. I have been blessed in life in so many ways, if I can help others then that is better for them, and selfishly, yes, it makes me feel better too.

I am not suggesting that this is what is necessarily weighing on your mind, but could it be? It is so common to spend time at this age reevaluating things. There are a lot of useful resources out there on how to use these feelings and evaluate them and forge a path forwards. And how to use your skillset and experience in the most effective way. The healthy you and the hard work that you have done in this space sounds a really good platform for next steps to me.

As an unfit person you have all the knowledge and determination and skills that I can only admire and aspire to. Its the next thing on my self improvement journey.

Good luck with yours.

Clearly I don't know you but from reading what you've written in this thread it seems like you're using being a doctor as a proxy marker for success and personal satisfaction. Which it isn't - you can definitely be a very unsatisfied doctor and indeed most doctors would probably tell you that satisfaction in medicine is a long term investment and doesn't really come until you're settled for some years in the job.

Qualifying from medical school is a great feeling but it's actually the start of working out how to put that learning into practice. Unless you're only interested in getting the degree as a personal accomplishment and never using it, you're going to find the years after medical school are also full of ups, downs, personal doubts, and many of the same feelings you've already described.

It seems to me that there are much quicker and more direct ways to addressing your doubts about your achievements rather than entering into a profession where you're unlikely to gain the satisfaction you're seeking for at least another 10 years.

I haven't even got into the practicalities of how you'd feel about night shifts and exams in your late 40s and being punted all around the place for training and jobs.

Just getting into medical school is an achievement itself, then, being on that journey, amongst other medical students, experiencing all the sweat and tears via the hard work we're is doing etc, all these things (the journey) would contribute towards that euphoric satisfied feeling im obviously craving.

Now, of course, I understand there is alot more to medicine than flattering my own ego, but let's not forget, that's practically all that these pharmaceutical companies are doing, arnt they? It's a business to them. They want everyone on medicine and that's all they teach in medical school really. Let's be honest here. It's all about ego.

Funny how medical school only teaches students the remedy (medicine) and not the actual root cause... because if the root cause was resolved (in most cases through diet, fitness, and other silly lifestyle choices) then there would be no need for most/some medicines.

You've said that at one time going into a particular trade was what you really wanted, but that hasn't brought you lasting satisfaction, so how can you know that med school would? This is why you need reasons to apply other than "to fill a void" or "to feel euphoric and satisfied". Your mention of euphoria stood out for me, because by definition it's not a feeling that people experience very often. Doctors don't live on a euphoric high any more than other people do. Your posts do make it sound as if you're idealising medical school and envisioning it as the solution to all your problems, and this actually puts you at risk of feeling even worse when (not if) the reality doesn't match up to your expectations. The benchmark of competence is likely to shift and keep on shifting ("I'll be happy if I get into the most competitive specialty", "I'll be happy if I do a PhD", "I'll be happy if I get into Harvard for the PhD"), with the result that you spend more and more time chasing chimeras and getting progressively unhappier with yourself.



This is not true. We do study the reasons underlying different pathologies, as well as how and why the systems of a healthy body work the way they do. Assessing lifestyle factors and supporting patients to make the best choices they can is also part of things. Pharmacology is important, but it certainly doesn't make up the bulk of our curriculum. For context, our current case focuses on the musculoskeletal system and associated conditions, and out of 55 learning outcomes only 6 involve pharmacology and medication. For the previous case (dementias), we had 31 learning outcomes, with 2 on the relevant drug treatments. You may have set your heart on a certain idea of medical school, rather than medical school as it actually is.

Yesterday I happened to say how at one point I'd worried that my previous psychodynamic training would go to waste on a medical degree (I used to work in adolescent mental health), but that I couldn't have been more wrong - I draw on it all the time, in ways I didn't even expect. A doctor replied, "Good medicine is often doing as much nothing as possible, and psychodynamic training makes you good at identifying why you, patients, and colleagues, want to do *something*." That resonated with me. "As much nothing as possible" is probably the most succinct description of medicine that I've ever read, and it's one of the things that makes its practice so emotionally challenging - recognising the limitations of what can be done and should be done, trusting your clinical judgement enough not to order defensive tests that might cause patients a lot of discomfort for little to no gain, etc. This is why I'm doubtful that medicine would give you what you're looking for. People often have a mental image of doctors confidently striding about fixing problems all day every day, when in reality they have to navigate an awful lot of uncertainty and aren't constantly experiencing eureka moments in the manner of House. We've been learning about medical error and how to cope with it, and our GP tutor shared some very frank reflections about mistakes he's made that had him awake at nights and doubting his abilities. He warned us that there will be many times when we feel that way ourselves. Then there is the uncertainty that isn't connected to error, just to the nature of illness - sometimes there really is no clear right answer. This is difficult for anyone to tolerate, but I think it would be exceptionally difficult if you struggle with self-worth and you're set on getting tangible proof that you're "capable" and "worthy". Worthy of what?

This is not to say that you absolutely shouldn't do medicine, but you definitely need to have other reasons for it than the ones you've given, plus an understanding that you can't rely on med school to cure how you're feeling about your life.

You've said that at one time going into a particular trade was what you really wanted, but that hasn't brought you lasting satisfaction, so how can you know that med school would? This is why you need reasons to apply other than "to fill a void" or "to feel euphoric and satisfied". Your mention of euphoria stood out for me, because by definition it's not a feeling that people experience very often. Doctors don't live on a euphoric high any more than other people do. Your posts do make it sound as if you're idealising medical school and envisioning it as the solution to all your problems, and this actually puts you at risk of feeling even worse when (not if) the reality doesn't match up to your expectations. The benchmark of competence is likely to shift and keep on shifting ("I'll be happy if I get into the most competitive specialty", "I'll be happy if I do a PhD", "I'll be happy if I get into Harvard for the PhD"), with the result that you spend more and more time chasing chimeras and getting progressively unhappier with yourself.



This is not true. We do study the reasons underlying different pathologies, as well as how and why the systems of a healthy body work the way they do. Assessing lifestyle factors and supporting patients to make the best choices they can is also part of things. Pharmacology is important, but it certainly doesn't make up the bulk of our curriculum. For context, our current case focuses on the musculoskeletal system and associated conditions, and out of 55 learning outcomes only 6 involve pharmacology and medication. For the previous case (dementias), we had 31 learning outcomes, with 2 on the relevant drug treatments. You may have set your heart on a certain idea of medical school, rather than medical school as it actually is.

Yesterday I happened to say how at one point I'd worried that my previous psychodynamic training would go to waste on a medical degree (I used to work in adolescent mental health), but that I couldn't have been more wrong - I draw on it all the time, in ways I didn't even expect. A doctor replied, "Good medicine is often doing as much nothing as possible, and psychodynamic training makes you good at identifying why you, patients, and colleagues, want to do *something*." That resonated with me. "As much nothing as possible" is probably the most succinct description of medicine that I've ever read, and it's one of the things that makes its practice so emotionally challenging - recognising the limitations of what can be done and should be done, trusting your clinical judgement enough not to order defensive tests that might cause patients a lot of discomfort for little to no gain, etc. This is why I'm doubtful that medicine would give you what you're looking for. People often have a mental image of doctors confidently striding about fixing problems all day every day, when in reality they have to navigate an awful lot of uncertainty and aren't constantly experiencing eureka moments in the manner of House. We've been learning about medical error and how to cope with it, and our GP tutor shared some very frank reflections about mistakes he's made that had him awake at nights and doubting his abilities. He warned us that there will be many times when we feel that way ourselves. Then there is the uncertainty that isn't connected to error, just to the nature of illness - sometimes there really is no clear right answer. This is difficult for anyone to tolerate, but I think it would be exceptionally difficult if you struggle with self-worth and you're set on getting tangible proof that you're "capable" and "worthy". Worthy of what?

This is not to say that you absolutely shouldn't do medicine, but you definitely need to have other reasons for it than the ones you've given, plus an understanding that you can't rely on med school to cure how you're feeling about your life.

You've said that at one time going into a particular trade was what you really wanted, but that hasn't brought you lasting satisfaction, so how can you know that med school would? This is why you need reasons to apply other than "to fill a void" or "to feel euphoric and satisfied". Your mention of euphoria stood out for me, because by definition it's not a feeling that people experience very often. Doctors don't live on a euphoric high any more than other people do. Your posts do make it sound as if you're idealising medical school and envisioning it as the solution to all your problems, and this actually puts you at risk of feeling even worse when (not if) the reality doesn't match up to your expectations. The benchmark of competence is likely to shift and keep on shifting ("I'll be happy if I get into the most competitive specialty", "I'll be happy if I do a PhD", "I'll be happy if I get into Harvard for the PhD"), with the result that you spend more and more time chasing chimeras and getting progressively unhappier with yourself.



This is not true. We do study the reasons underlying different pathologies, as well as how and why the systems of a healthy body work the way they do. Assessing lifestyle factors and supporting patients to make the best choices they can is also part of things. Pharmacology is important, but it certainly doesn't make up the bulk of our curriculum. For context, our current case focuses on the musculoskeletal system and associated conditions, and out of 55 learning outcomes only 6 involve pharmacology and medication. For the previous case (dementias), we had 31 learning outcomes, with 2 on the relevant drug treatments. You may have set your heart on a certain idea of medical school, rather than medical school as it actually is.

Yesterday I happened to say how at one point I'd worried that my previous psychodynamic training would go to waste on a medical degree (I used to work in adolescent mental health), but that I couldn't have been more wrong - I draw on it all the time, in ways I didn't even expect. A doctor replied, "Good medicine is often doing as much nothing as possible, and psychodynamic training makes you good at identifying why you, patients, and colleagues, want to do *something*." That resonated with me. "As much nothing as possible" is probably the most succinct description of medicine that I've ever read, and it's one of the things that makes its practice so emotionally challenging - recognising the limitations of what can be done and should be done, trusting your clinical judgement enough not to order defensive tests that might cause patients a lot of discomfort for little to no gain, etc. This is why I'm doubtful that medicine would give you what you're looking for. People often have a mental image of doctors confidently striding about fixing problems all day every day, when in reality they have to navigate an awful lot of uncertainty and aren't constantly experiencing eureka moments in the manner of House. We've been learning about medical error and how to cope with it, and our GP tutor shared some very frank reflections about mistakes he's made that had him awake at nights and doubting his abilities. He warned us that there will be many times when we feel that way ourselves. Then there is the uncertainty that isn't connected to error, just to the nature of illness - sometimes there really is no clear right answer. This is difficult for anyone to tolerate, but I think it would be exceptionally difficult if you struggle with self-worth and you're set on getting tangible proof that you're "capable" and "worthy". Worthy of what?

This is not to say that you absolutely shouldn't do medicine, but you definitely need to have other reasons for it than the ones you've given, plus an understanding that you can't rely on med school to cure how you're feeling about your life.

As Voltaire said “The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”

I love this quote.