LGBT+ Pride Month 2023: what's your coming out story?
Happy Pride Month! 
Do you have a coming out story? Maybe it was a supported one or maybe it was a tricky time? Or perhaps you're not out yet and want to chat to people who are.
Post your stories and experiences below!
Please note: You can post anonymously in this thread. However please be aware that TSR staff and some volunteers (including myself) are able to see who us behind anon. So don't try and use it to be offensive
Any offensive posts will be removed and warned.
Do you have a coming out story? Maybe it was a supported one or maybe it was a tricky time? Or perhaps you're not out yet and want to chat to people who are.
Post your stories and experiences below!
Please note: You can post anonymously in this thread. However please be aware that TSR staff and some volunteers (including myself) are able to see who us behind anon. So don't try and use it to be offensive
Any offensive posts will be removed and warned.
i came out to two of my friends as bi when i was 13 (im pan now 
) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm inside
although i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm insidealthough i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
Original post by Anonymous
i came out to two of my friends as bi when i was 13 (im pan now ) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm inside
although i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm insidealthough i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
Thanks for sharing your story, it's really great to hear things from other person's experience
overall it sounds really positive. I hope things with your family (whether you come out or don't to them) go as well as possible 
Posting to follow (might type out my own sort-of-story when I'm feeling less lazy ) 
) Original post by Anonymous
i came out to two of my friends as bi when i was 13 (im pan now ) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm inside
although i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
) and i don't know, it just felt so natural because i felt so comfortable with them. it was rather spontaneous too - we were sat at the lunch table and i think i was having rice w my friends and i was in the middle of them. i just said 'hey guys i have something to say, im bi' and they were like oh thats amazing you're always gunna be loved by us we're so proud of you and it just made me feel so warm insidealthough i did shed a few tears afterwards, i think it was because i finally could say it out loud. from then it was rather easy to just say yep im bi. then.i came out (again, but with less pressure lol) as pan when i was 15 and again, it was no biggie. my friend had made a joke on our text gc about how it was just 2 bis and 2 lesbians in the gc and i was like actuallyyyyyyy im pan so yeah that was nice. they were all very chill
im really grateful to have such supportive friends around me. they're all so lovely and i want to thank them from the bottom of my hearts for being amazing, even if we don't talk anymore.
i think a core memory of mine in year 10 was when my crush handed me a piece of paper saying happy bisexual awareness week in flag colours and it really just cemented in for me that i was accepted. i truly belonged. i still have it to this day and it holds a special place in my heart
i haven't come out to my family apart from 2 cousins i really trust. i come from a muslim family so being anything other than straight is uh...not ideal. i don't think i could ever tell my parents and continue to live under their roof after that. its very scary. i think my mum sort of knows though. she's probably caught on that i really like my best friend in a more than friends way so loooool theres that. maybe one day when im far away ill tell them
i hope one day everyone will be able to come out to someone and feel supported and loved. happy pride month everyone <3
Awww it's so nice to read most of this post. I'm glad you had/have such accepting friends and that they were affirming and caring towards you
That piece of paper sounds such a wonderful keepsake to have too Really feel for you on the family stuff (I'm not Muslim - am Roman Catholic with very traditional South Asian parents). Thinking of you
So I'm not completely out, in that my dad still has no idea that I'm a lesbian (and we're all keeping it that way 
), but I had quite a gradual coming out to certain people and then a massive Facebook coming out 
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out/wrestle with my sexuality, due to the abusive circumstances that the questioning of it arose in
It was a very messed up situation that I still am feeling the fall-out from tbh It's still somewhat in flux I guess, the exact nature of my sexuality, but I go with the label lesbian for now and have done for quite a few years because that's what fits best at present.
Everything came to a head with my sexuality and having to quickly think of what I label myself several (at least 6+) years ago, because my (very Roman Catholic, traditional, homophobic, Sri Lankan) mother asked me outright about it
I was dyeing her hair, so I couldn't even run away from the conversation 
I can't remember her exact question but she basically asked me if I'm a lesbian I didn't dare use the word myself (lest she cry or hit me), so eventually I just said something about being scared of penises 
I think she got the hint and we've never talked about it directly since 
I was very scared to be outed by my mum like that. I knew she'd never disown me, but was scared she'd be angry/hit me, or cry, or be dismissive about it. To my huge surprise, she said two very encouraging things. First, she said not to tell my dad but that - if he did ever have to know - he'd get over it eventually. That was a huge relief that she thinks he'd get over it at some point, because I feared he never would. (Like I said though, he doesn't know and we're def keeping it that way unless I am about to marry a woman, lol ) The second thing was she said that, if I ever did marry a woman, that'd be OK and we'd just tell the Sinhalese community circles we associate in, that I'm living with a friend. Some people will inevitably be like "she's asking you to live a lie" but remember, she really REALLY doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal - so that was a huge concession for her to make. I was so moved and happy about it
I think the second person I may have come out to was the priest looking after me at the time. He was very kind and validating about it (as much as a Roman Catholic priest can be, anyway) and made me feel more comfortable about being a Roman Catholic lesbian. (It's not always an easy line to tread!)
I think the next person I came out to properly was my PhD supervisor, because it came up in me trying to answer how I knew about a specific thesis-related thing. I told her and she didn't bat an eyelid or comment on it, from what I remember. It was nice to know it wasn't a big deal for her either
Then I decided to come out to most people on Facebook, in support of a gay Church of England clergyman who was being villified (I forget why exactly). But first I had to tell my sisters! So I sent them a WhatsApp message, separately. I don't think either of them were that surprised but my older sister thought I was rushing myself to come out when I wasn't quite ready. So she Googled whether there's a National Coming Out Day - and there is So she suggested I waited until then.
That was a good suggestion in the end, because it gave me time to tell various Christian friends of mine about my sexuality, before the Facebook coming out status. I wasn't sure how many of them I'd lose because of it but most people were supportive and affirming Those who weren't just didn't really say anything or even acknowledge what I'd written.
All in all, I've been quite lucky about reactions. My ethnic community don't know and it's best to keep it that way, at least while my parents are alive. I have severe mental health problems, so I don't envision ever being in a romantic/sexual relationship or getting married, so there's no need to have to out myself - at least unless something changes! Like I said, it's not always easy being lesbian who's a practising Roman Catholic but for the most part, I don't feel conflicted about it
Happy Pride to those celebrating (I don't mark Pride, so as not to out myself to Dad/Sri Lankan community, though I do have an ABBA rainbow logo T-shirt ) 
), but I had quite a gradual coming out to certain people and then a massive Facebook coming out I spent a lot of time trying to figure out/wrestle with my sexuality, due to the abusive circumstances that the questioning of it arose in
It was a very messed up situation that I still am feeling the fall-out from tbh It's still somewhat in flux I guess, the exact nature of my sexuality, but I go with the label lesbian for now and have done for quite a few years because that's what fits best at present. Everything came to a head with my sexuality and having to quickly think of what I label myself several (at least 6+) years ago, because my (very Roman Catholic, traditional, homophobic, Sri Lankan) mother asked me outright about it
I was dyeing her hair, so I couldn't even run away from the conversation I can't remember her exact question but she basically asked me if I'm a lesbian I didn't dare use the word myself (lest she cry or hit me), so eventually I just said something about being scared of penises I think she got the hint and we've never talked about it directly since I was very scared to be outed by my mum like that. I knew she'd never disown me, but was scared she'd be angry/hit me, or cry, or be dismissive about it. To my huge surprise, she said two very encouraging things. First, she said not to tell my dad but that - if he did ever have to know - he'd get over it eventually. That was a huge relief that she thinks he'd get over it at some point, because I feared he never would. (Like I said though, he doesn't know and we're def keeping it that way unless I am about to marry a woman, lol
) The second thing was she said that, if I ever did marry a woman, that'd be OK and we'd just tell the Sinhalese community circles we associate in, that I'm living with a friend. Some people will inevitably be like "she's asking you to live a lie" but remember, she really REALLY doesn't believe gay marriage should be legal - so that was a huge concession for her to make. I was so moved and happy about it I think the second person I may have come out to was the priest looking after me at the time. He was very kind and validating about it (as much as a Roman Catholic priest can be, anyway) and made me feel more comfortable about being a Roman Catholic lesbian. (It's not always an easy line to tread!)
I think the next person I came out to properly was my PhD supervisor, because it came up in me trying to answer how I knew about a specific thesis-related thing. I told her and she didn't bat an eyelid or comment on it, from what I remember. It was nice to know it wasn't a big deal for her either
Then I decided to come out to most people on Facebook, in support of a gay Church of England clergyman who was being villified (I forget why exactly). But first I had to tell my sisters! So I sent them a WhatsApp message, separately. I don't think either of them were that surprised but my older sister thought I was rushing myself to come out when I wasn't quite ready. So she Googled whether there's a National Coming Out Day - and there is
So she suggested I waited until then. That was a good suggestion in the end, because it gave me time to tell various Christian friends of mine about my sexuality, before the Facebook coming out status. I wasn't sure how many of them I'd lose because of it but most people were supportive and affirming
Those who weren't just didn't really say anything or even acknowledge what I'd written. All in all, I've been quite lucky about reactions. My ethnic community don't know and it's best to keep it that way, at least while my parents are alive. I have severe mental health problems, so I don't envision ever being in a romantic/sexual relationship or getting married, so there's no need to have to out myself - at least unless something changes!
Like I said, it's not always easy being lesbian who's a practising Roman Catholic but for the most part, I don't feel conflicted about it Happy Pride to those celebrating (I don't mark Pride, so as not to out myself to Dad/Sri Lankan community, though I do have an ABBA rainbow logo T-shirt
) had my dad search my phone, and find i was trans, but refused to believe it for a bit, still deadnamed me, misgendered me, the whole lot.
i came out to my mum September 25th 2022 and she was overwhelmingly supportive, even in favour of hormones and surgeries and that stuff (that’s important later)
about 10 months after my dad found out i came out and they were suddenly fine with it, apart from the fact that i wanted to go the private route for hrt (the NHS waiting list for that is simply too long to manage).
so uhm yeah, probably just gonna go the private route anyway when i turn 18 and if he has any complains he can make them to 0800-BRICK-WALL because nobody wants to hear them.
i came out to my mum September 25th 2022 and she was overwhelmingly supportive, even in favour of hormones and surgeries and that stuff (that’s important later)
about 10 months after my dad found out i came out and they were suddenly fine with it, apart from the fact that i wanted to go the private route for hrt (the NHS waiting list for that is simply too long to manage).
so uhm yeah, probably just gonna go the private route anyway when i turn 18 and if he has any complains he can make them to 0800-BRICK-WALL because nobody wants to hear them.
I'm not out because a) I'm not 100% sure myself, and b) it's never really come up, but I'm strongly suspect I'm ace.
Many people probably don't suspect it because I have been in relationships before and talk about it, but I have been single for years and have zero desire to be in any kind of relationship again and I don't think I have ever experienced sexual attraction. I think my mum thinks I don't like people in general (I mostly keep to myself to myself and have only friend I ever meet up with a couple of times a year) and my dad thinks I'm hiding my boyfriend from him lol
But yeah, pretty sure I will be single for the rest of my life, be that because I'm ace or because I'm just a bit of a weirdo who sees no benefit to being in a relationship
Many people probably don't suspect it because I have been in relationships before and talk about it, but I have been single for years and have zero desire to be in any kind of relationship again and I don't think I have ever experienced sexual attraction. I think my mum thinks I don't like people in general (I mostly keep to myself to myself and have only friend I ever meet up with a couple of times a year) and my dad thinks I'm hiding my boyfriend from him lol
But yeah, pretty sure I will be single for the rest of my life, be that because I'm ace or because I'm just a bit of a weirdo who sees no benefit to being in a relationship
Im a mum of two daughters who both are bisexual.
Eldest daughter was having a heated debate with her dad (unrelated to coming out), and she just blurted it out. Only thing is he has pagets disease and hes almost deaf. She said it that quickly he completely missed it. He went off to bed and my daughter and me had the chat to know more. How long she known, has she told anyone else etc. She thought she was not sexually interested in anyone during her GCSE and Alevels, so it was not until 1st year of university she finally found herself. The following morning, when her dad was up I told him that he was so ingrossed in what he was debating on TV that he missed an important part of what she said. So he had a chat with her and he and I are very supportive. This was the start of second year of uni in the September of 2021, and shes been to Lancaster pride twice with her friends and she really has a great group of people around her from all different sexualities. One of her best friends is trans and I adore her, shes been a real rock for my daughter.
My youngest told me on the landing on the stairs spring of last year. Her dad also knows and just like with the eldest is very supportive. Shes known from a younger age of 14. Her friends at sixth form all know and are there for her. Shes also about to start uni this year so I know theres plenty of support from the LGBTQIA+ community at university and im really proud of both my daughters
Eldest daughter was having a heated debate with her dad (unrelated to coming out), and she just blurted it out. Only thing is he has pagets disease and hes almost deaf. She said it that quickly he completely missed it. He went off to bed and my daughter and me had the chat to know more. How long she known, has she told anyone else etc. She thought she was not sexually interested in anyone during her GCSE and Alevels, so it was not until 1st year of university she finally found herself. The following morning, when her dad was up I told him that he was so ingrossed in what he was debating on TV that he missed an important part of what she said. So he had a chat with her and he and I are very supportive. This was the start of second year of uni in the September of 2021, and shes been to Lancaster pride twice with her friends and she really has a great group of people around her from all different sexualities. One of her best friends is trans and I adore her, shes been a real rock for my daughter.
My youngest told me on the landing on the stairs spring of last year. Her dad also knows and just like with the eldest is very supportive. Shes known from a younger age of 14. Her friends at sixth form all know and are there for her. Shes also about to start uni this year so I know theres plenty of support from the LGBTQIA+ community at university and im really proud of both my daughters
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- TSR Pride Month Hub 2023! 🌈🌈🌈
- TSR Virtual Pride MKIV - Fill this thread with colour! 🌈🌈🌈
- What are your thoughts on rainbow washing?
- Queerfic! (LGBTQ+ books)
- LGBT+ Chat XIII
- Predictions for June 2023 Edexcel IGCSE English Language paper
- Have you ever questioned your gender identity?
- In the film La Haine, what is the whole Grunwalski episode about?
- January 2024 IGCSE edexcel papers
- Official University of Derby Student Life Thread
- English lang igcse edexcel 2023
- Ex is being confusing
- Predictions for English Literature 2023 Edexcel
- February Book of the Month Suggestions - TSR Book Club
- OCR GCSE English Literature Paper 1 (J352/01) - 17th May 2023 [Exam Chat]
- Edexcel igcse english language a 2024 may paper 1
- english literature 2024
- Pride London
- LGBTQ+ students at Lancaster?
- Double Masters - Can unique circumstances be taken into account?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
