Feeling empty and not valued

I feel like I am not respected as a person. I just finished my first year of uni and passed. I should be very happy and be enjoying my holidays. Instead I’m just sat at home doing nothing. My so called friends don’t message me unless I initiate. Few weeks back it was my birthday, nobody got me any gift even though I have gotten them all some sort of present when it was their birthday. This has really ruined my confidence and I just feel depressed

Reply 1

cheadle

I think what is making this particularly hard for you is that you have almost "written the script" of what is going on here. It might help to see that there are other ways of seeing what's happening here. You are clearly a thoughtful person who remembers birthdays and thought into cards & gifts.Not everyone is like that. If you are giving cards and gifts, there can be a hidden expectation that because you've done it, the recipient will do it back - like a kind of contract. The same is true for thanking people for gifts. It always amazes me how many people never thank the people who give them cards & gifts. This is especially true of children these days . Unless parents drill them into it (thank you cards, texts, etc), it's a piece of good manners that has slipped our of practice. So, it might help to reframe your gift-giving as something that you do because you want to, irrespective of what other people do. Or if it really bothers you that nothing comes back, then you have the option of stopping doing it, or cutting back, maybe send a text instead. I certainly wouldn;t take this personally (difficult, I know) because this is more likely to be a reflection of how they are rather than how you are. Hope this helps!