The Student Room Group

How Relationships work and Finding Anyone After Uni?

I'm the type of person who has no idea what the process of finding a girlfriend even looks like, and I don't have the slightest idea of where I would even begin. It's this other world I've never been in. However I feel it's gonna become even harder now. I just finished my undergrad and about to start masters, which are fully online, so I won't be going to any campus nor really interacting with anyone. On top of that I work from home, so no opportunities there either.

As much as I would like to start at least somewhat understanding how to get a relationship (even though I do know that it should probably be common knowledge to anyone who's my age), even if I did know how or what to do, I don't think I'd even be able to find anyone anywhere. Or more realistically for someone to find me as I probably would have to rely on them doing most of the work. So what do I do? I'm 21 and I don't know where to even begin, and I have a feeling I'll have no further opportunities to even find out.

Scroll to see replies

dating app?
Tinder is an easy way to meet people.

But don't rely on anyone else doing "most of the work" - that is how people end up alone and bitter. You need to be putting in equal effort and enthusiasm.
Tinder is an easy way to meet people.

But don't rely on anyone else doing "most of the work" - that is how people end up alone and bitter. You need to be putting in equal effort and enthusiasm.

I mean I would be definitely willing to put in the effort. The issue is more knowing what to actually do or put that effort in.
Original post by backstreetboyz
dating app?

Ok sure, but would I even know how to use them? I would be as clueless at them as the normal dating.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok sure, but would I even know how to use them? I would be as clueless at them as the normal dating.


You download the app, swipe right on a load of people, and get rejected by all of them.
Reply 6
Go out to the type of pub where young lonely hearts hang out. Plus join a couple of club where you’re likely to come across wholesome like minded girls. Plus get your flirting head on
Original post by Zarek
Go out to the type of pub where young lonely hearts hang out. Plus join a couple of club where you’re likely to come across wholesome like minded girls. Plus get your flirting head on


What kind of pub is that and what do I even do in a pub, as I've never been in one? And you think I have any idea how to flirt or what a "flirting head" even is?
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
What kind of pub is that and what do I even do in a pub, as I've never been in one? And you think I have any idea how to flirt or what a "flirting head" even is?


See if you can find a few friends to show you the ropes and there’s a YouTube training video for everything now
Unless you intend to rely exclusively on apps, you are going to have to get out the house and socialise.
Original post by Wonder Potato
Unless you intend to rely exclusively on apps, you are going to have to get out the house and socialise.


Ok, but where and how? It's all completely new to me.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok, but where and how? It's all completely new to me.


What is completely new to you?
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Wonder Potato
What is completely new to you?

Going to places outside just school/uni, socialising with strangers, etc.
Original post by Anonymous
Going to places outside just school/uni, socialising with strangers, etc.


You will learn a lot about this in the workplace. Do you have a job at all? If I were you, I'd avoid using apps until you have a bit more experience of interacting in RL. But that takes effort. You need to get out there and start making friends. Maybe get a part-time job?
Original post by Veet Voojagig
You will learn a lot about this in the workplace. Do you have a job at all? If I were you, I'd avoid using apps until you have a bit more experience of interacting in RL. But that takes effort. You need to get out there and start making friends. Maybe get a part-time job?


I work from home.
Original post by Zarek
See if you can find a few friends to show you the ropes and there’s a YouTube training video for everything now

You think I know how to find friends lol?
Original post by Anonymous
You think I know how to find friends lol?


You need a hobby. Imagine something you have always wanted to try out, then join a club. Best part of that is, not only are you making friends with similar interests, you are also getting to try new things and live your best life. Chances are, you might also meet someone who you like enough to ask on a date. After all, having a common interest is often the best way to get the conversation going and develop a rapport.
Original post by Veet Voojagig
You need a hobby. Imagine something you have always wanted to try out, then join a club. Best part of that is, not only are you making friends with similar interests, you are also getting to try new things and live your best life. Chances are, you might also meet someone who you like enough to ask on a date. After all, having a common interest is often the best way to get the conversation going and develop a rapport.


I don't really have a hobby, much less any I'd want to join a club over. Besides even if I did, I can tell you exactly how it would look like: unless people really talked to me a lot first, I'd just sit in the corner the whole time talking to no one, because it's just something I have no idea how to do.
Original post by Anonymous
Going to places outside just school/uni, socialising with strangers, etc.

Weren't the other students on your course strangers until you met them? Did you never do anything at uni other than study, eat and sleep?
Original post by Surnia
Weren't the other students on your course strangers until you met them? Did you never do anything at uni other than study, eat and sleep?

I mean they were strangers all the way through uni as pretty much one one acknowledged my existence all through my 3 years there. And no, I didn't really do anything else, just went home the second a class was over. I was never one of those popular kids to be invited to parties or anything.

Quick Reply