The Student Room Group

how to get a gf????????

pls hel pme
Reply 1
Stop trying is the first and most obvious answer. It would be easy to say look online but that can be soul destroying and leave you open to scammers.

You might as well have 'needy' tattooed across your forehead and that is so obvious to the people you meet. I'm not sure if this is a 'first' girlfriend at all or another gf after the close of a previous relationship
but regardless the answer is along the lines of 'stop looking'

Resign yourself to celibacy for the rest of your life (bit drastic I know) - yes seriously. If you meet someone who is your soul mate and makes your heart sing - you will know but until then assign yourself to 'no gf' and just do 'life' & strangely that change creates a different aura about you.

Then put yourself out there. If you are at work, try to link in with anyone going out after work. Go to work based events, go to social events. Get involved in every activity going. Know yourself and get your confidence built up. If you enjoy any current activities join a group (not online - face to face) Find volunteer groups that need bodies, people to undertake shared activities with a common purpose (wildlife, animal shelters, computers, litter picks, soup kitchens, sports events etc etc)

If you have a particular skill or knowledge see where you might be able to use it to help others. Join a group, travel to conferences, look at young people events to share your skills or knowledge.

Try everything once and find out what you like and love to do - for example camping, painting, walking, ornithology, debating, chess. See what is going on locally and see if they need any help. Look at local colleges or your Uni and see what help they need.

The more you know about yourself, what you love, what you will tolerate (good and bad) the more you gain your self confidence, and become comfortable with who you are.

When you have stopped looking for a gf and are so engrossed with the 'just doing', your personality starts to show through. Suddenly by chance, by fate you 'bump' into someone amazing and the scenario just develops. Make sure you don't miss those subtle cues though. You will probably meet many people and after a short time realise that they are 'not for you' and that is ok. What you seek is someone to share your life, and to share those common interests going forward. The moment you stop trying too hard all sorts of good things happen.

Never give up hope. One day will be that day when life suddenly changes for the better.

Quick Reply