The Student Room Group

Does kindness, having a good heart, gentle manners

Count for much? or are they only relevant if you're handsome? asking about attraction ofc, a romantic relationship.
Reply 1
Of course they do, no matter what you consider about looks.
Original post by Surnia
Of course they do, no matter what you consider about looks.


So do most girls seek for someone who's kind (not (just) to them, in general), has a good heart, is forgiving and understanding, is not interested in fights but rather wants to resolve things honestly and straightforwardly?

Or does that mean the guy won't be "mysterious" enough? and will be boring. Or unexciting.
Different people often have very different attraction dealbreakers, ambitions, beauty standards, relationship expectations and lifestyle preferences.
Once basic attraction dealbreakers are met, people generally tend to focus on other elements of a potential date or relationship partner's personality and values.

But a happy & healthy sexual or romantic relationship with a reasonable shelf-life will require mutual attraction as well as compatible ambitions and lifestyle preferences.
This is the main difference between a platonic friendship and a romantic or sexual relationship partner.
Original post by Anonymous
So do most girls seek for someone who's kind (not (just) to them, in general), has a good heart, is forgiving and understanding, is not interested in fights but rather wants to resolve things honestly and straightforwardly?

Or does that mean the guy won't be "mysterious" enough? and will be boring. Or unexciting.


As londonmyst has said, some girls will like these things, others won't.

There's nothing wrong with being genuinely nice (i.e. it's a true characteristic of you, and not just because you want something from someone) ... what you're describing are all very good qualities, and it's a shame there aren't more people who have these attributes these days.

Having said that, for your own sake, please remember that it's also important be able to assert / stand up for yourself on certain occasions... otherwise people will just see you as a doormat. They'll take advantage of you, walk over you, and (quite often) may even mock you behind your back; as well as people in general, even so-called girlfriends may simply see you as a meal ticket (i.e. just use you for stability, whilst they seek their fun / thrills from other guys behind your back).

I'm not sure if you're religious... but it's worth remembering that according to the Bible, even Jesus lost his temper when he discovered a market in a holy place.

Remember there's a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive.
Reply 5
No one wants a long term relationship with someone who is an arse, but there’s no doubt that an untamed edge can be attractive
(edited 12 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Count for much? or are they only relevant if you're handsome? asking about attraction ofc, a romantic relationship.


For a long relationship, it counts a lot. Being handsome is the one thing, the character traits the other one. Attraction helps you to approach a relationship, good personality to keep it.

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