Advice

I am an introvert who is struggling with friendships currently. When I was younger I had a lot of friends usually because I was quite goofy and silly and would invite people to my house and would t really feel left out. After I finished college which was mid covid I was close with a group of girls but my social anxiety during this period worsened a lot and I felt unable to practically talk to anyone. I pushed these gorup of girls away however they did try with me. After I had a melt down during summer I pushed them away completely and stopped all contact with them for a year. Some of this fuelled from jealousy as well. Last year one of the girls whom I grew up with messaged me saying how she felt bad that she distanced herself from me and we met up. Whilst it was good I always felt she was closer to the other girls in the group than me therefore progress for our friendship was quite slow. Until recently I meet up with her often and have learnt friendships really are 50/50. The other girls I have become closer with especially since the girl that messaged me invites me to outings with the other girls. However I am not comeptlty close with them and I am not in a group chat with them. I also sometimes feel like I am intruding and they have already formed such a close friendship but in reality nothing is suggesting that they don’t want things to go back to how they were. I am getting closer with the girl that originally messaged me and have become a lot more vulnerable around her. However it does hurt sometimes when I see her go out with the other girls in the group. What do you think I should do