The Student Room Group

Social Life at University, Norm or Exception?

Recently finished up my time at university and I've recently been in a retrospective mood about it. I think it's fair to say that media does certainly mess up everyone's expectations of uni, though given how I knew I'd never be very social at university, I really had no idea of what to expect or what would university be like. What I wasn't expecting was exactly how unlike a student I felt this entire time. It always felt like another world I wasn't part of. Through my three years there I made no friends or contacts, still haven't been to any party in my life, and in general I felt like an outsider the whole time, with even the professors barely even acknowledging my existence.

Thing is, is this a lot more common at university than I think? Is there actually a good likelihood of people being like me and having no social life all through uni, or this is very much uncommon and I've wasted the last three years of my life?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Recently finished up my time at university and I've recently been in a retrospective mood about it. I think it's fair to say that media does certainly mess up everyone's expectations of uni, though given how I knew I'd never be very social at university, I really had no idea of what to expect or what would university be like. What I wasn't expecting was exactly how unlike a student I felt this entire time. It always felt like another world I wasn't part of. Through my three years there I made no friends or contacts, still haven't been to any party in my life, and in general I felt like an outsider the whole time, with even the professors barely even acknowledging my existence.

Thing is, is this a lot more common at university than I think? Is there actually a good likelihood of people being like me and having no social life all through uni, or this is very much uncommon and I've wasted the last three years of my life?

You've been to Uni and got a degree, and no one can ever take that away from you, so I would certainly not say that you've wasted 3 years of your life. Socialising is one aspect of Uni, like it also was at school, and will also be when you start working, but it is not the be all and end all. There are many people that go through uni not making any real friends. You are not alone.
Reply 2
Original post by lalexm
You've been to Uni and got a degree, and no one can ever take that away from you, so I would certainly not say that you've wasted 3 years of your life. Socialising is one aspect of Uni, like it also was at school, and will also be when you start working, but it is not the be all and end all. There are many people that go through uni not making any real friends. You are not alone.

I mean my course was kinda meh so I wouldn't count my degree as much but still. Glad to hear it's a lot more common than I thought.
Original post by Anonymous
Recently finished up my time at university and I've recently been in a retrospective mood about it. I think it's fair to say that media does certainly mess up everyone's expectations of uni, though given how I knew I'd never be very social at university, I really had no idea of what to expect or what would university be like. What I wasn't expecting was exactly how unlike a student I felt this entire time. It always felt like another world I wasn't part of. Through my three years there I made no friends or contacts, still haven't been to any party in my life, and in general I felt like an outsider the whole time, with even the professors barely even acknowledging my existence.

Thing is, is this a lot more common at university than I think? Is there actually a good likelihood of people being like me and having no social life all through uni, or this is very much uncommon and I've wasted the last three years of my life?


Hi there,

You don't need to worry, you haven't wasted any time while at Uni, I also doubt that you didn't socialize at any point in Uni. Maybe, what your definition of being social isn't how your personal uni life was but that's okay. Not everyone goes to parties, some people prefer more private outings with friends and not everyone is comfortable being too social. It also depends on what you did while at Uni, did you join any sports club or societies? did you get a job or go for any school events or activities? were you commuting from home or in a shared accommodation? Anyways, if you feel that your experience didn't reach your expectations, don't dwell too much on that and just focus on what comes next. Although there are lots of people that don't focus on the social aspect of Uni.

Benedicta
Digital Ambassador-UoS
Absolutely not alone there. I feel the same way. Can’t really relate to anyone and feel like I’m just wandering around in my own world while everyone else is on the same wavelength. University is like two extremes. You’re either very social and talk to people constantly or very isolated and can go a full day without talking to anyone. That’s how it is.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Recently finished up my time at university and I've recently been in a retrospective mood about it. I think it's fair to say that media does certainly mess up everyone's expectations of uni, though given how I knew I'd never be very social at university, I really had no idea of what to expect or what would university be like. What I wasn't expecting was exactly how unlike a student I felt this entire time. It always felt like another world I wasn't part of. Through my three years there I made no friends or contacts, still haven't been to any party in my life, and in general I felt like an outsider the whole time, with even the professors barely even acknowledging my existence.

Thing is, is this a lot more common at university than I think? Is there actually a good likelihood of people being like me and having no social life all through uni, or this is very much uncommon and I've wasted the last three years of my life?
Hi,

Congratulations on getting the degree,

I think it is a very common experience if you are an introvert. I know people who were quiet and sat at the back of the lecture hall. In the third year when we were divided into smaller groups, everyone was surprised that they were with the cohort the whole time. I think that the point of university is to get a degree and find a job you are passionate about. It is not too late to make friends at work or post-grad study) I knew people who partied hard the first month and dropped out soon after because it was not what they expected it to be. I believe it is best to have no expectations that it will be the best time of your life.

University is not how the media portrays it to be, high school is not euphoria either. I know the feeling of comparing your experience to movies and be nostalgic about something that never happened. Movies are very fast-paced and dramatic, and if they were closer to real life no one would watch them.

What do you think about doing now that you have graduated? 😊

Hristiana (Kingston rep)
1st year Mental Health Nursing

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