Deciding not to go to university, and trying to decide to go to university

Hello,
Not sure if this is the right place to blog. Never blogged before so...
Anyhow, for any future lost souls out there, which there will be because despite what you may think, everyone is trying to figure out life as much as you are, I will share with you a recent experience of mine. Maybe it will help someone in the future.

So, ever since I was 18 years old in 2017, I have always wanted to go to university.

I left college in May 2018, after having completed 3 unsuccessful years of education, each year a different course. Wanting to get a qualification so that I wasn't homeless when I was older (I lived at home/still live at home), I tried my luck at a local apprenticeship in Business Admin. I did 7 months of the supposably 12-month level 3 course, until both my employer and training provider (two separate entities) closed down at the same time. I lost all the work I had completed for my apprenticeship.

November 2019, I eventually found work back at a pub, what I had been doing before starting my apprenticeship. In March 2020, the Covid pandemic struck, and impacted hospitality significantly. I still had my job by the end of the pandemic.

In May 2021, wanting to finish what I started, I began another apprenticeship, in the same course, for 18 months, and gained continued employment in November 2022.

December 2022, I embarked on my first solo adventure. I went to Barcelona for a long weekend, and fell in love with solo travel.

I set myself the target to save £10,000 through my new employment, and then go and travel the world. In May 2023, I went on a further three solo adventures to Majorca, Paris, and London, and Corfu in June.

In sometime in May, or maybe even before then, I registered to visit the University of West England Bristol at one of their open days. Sometime in June, I had forgotten about this event, and was reminded via email. Curious, I went.

Going to this open day got be thinking once again about going to university, something which I had never forgotten, but more so ignored.

I visited Reading, Worcester, and Salford university after this.

Between June and September, I was incredibly stressed out, torn between sticking to my original plan of going travelling for a year, or going to university in September.

For three , almost four months, between June and September, the summer, I battled endlessly trying to decide what I was going to do in September.

Through all this turmoil, I barely slept, I gained weight, I stopped going to the gym, I missed by best mates post-travel get together, I almost missed a two day festival, and arrived a day late, making things awkward for the friends I was going with, I missed going to any August Bank Holiday festivals such as Creamfields or Reading, I didn't see Barbie or Oppenheimer, I didn't watch any sport, and I jeopardised my employment. Everyday, all day, for three to four months, except for the odd occasions mentioned, I tried to make up my mind.

September finally came around (has come around), and the time to make a decision arrived as to if I was going to university. I had to give my current employment at least 2 weeks notice.

I remembered how that I have been meaning to go to university for the past 6 years, and been envious of all the people I had met during my travels who were travelling after having graduated. I thought about all the fun I'd have at university; the parties, finally moving out, the new friends, the societies, the nightlife, and of course the studying a subject I am very interested in.

But despite all fun I could envisage having, the fact that I hadn't properly researched universities I could attend (I had only really researched one university), and that it was all incredibly last-minute, overshadowed any and all fun opportunities going to university had to offer. I decided, with the support of my family, to take a year to properly organise and arrange going to university. I am currently 24 years old. I will go to university next year when I am 25 years old, and intend to live in student halls for the first year, just like everybody else.

I will endeavour to make the most of the upcoming year also, and potentially (although I would have preferred to do so with the satisfaction of having graduated), go travelling sometime between November and August, or maybe from and till then. I still have my job, a place at my at my parents house, and a gym membership. The essentials!

Much love, and thank you for reading.