I’m 29 and never had a date or first kiss, is it due to being overweight?

I struggle with Asperger’s syndrome and am naturally an introvert. Do I need to continue losing weight to be more attractive?

Reply 1

3uddha

Don't change yourself to become more 'attractive' for others...Instead, lose weight to become more healthy and comfortable with your own skin (since it seems like you're self-critical). if you get in a relationship with someone who finds you attractive based on your looks, it won't end well. Surround yourself around good, kind people and if you can't due to being introverted maybe try find a hobby to occupy yourself for the time being. Only ever improve yourself for YOURSELF.

Reply 2

JDINCINERATOR

Original post by Blueskies94

I struggle with Asperger’s syndrome and am naturally an introvert. Do I need to continue losing weight to be more attractive?

Well I'm 31 and haven't had a first kiss or date and am overweight too. I think weight can be attractive to some women, but I think conventionally women like their men fit- you know it's a culturally constructed standard. Personally I'd rather be who I am and if women don't like it I don't care. Find women who are attracted to who you are not what you look like.

Reply 3

Katerina S.

Original post by Blueskies94

I struggle with Asperger’s syndrome and am naturally an introvert. Do I need to continue losing weight to be more attractive?

If you don't have good social skills that will be one big problem. If you are noticeably overweight that could be another problem potentially.

Are you male or female?

Reply 4

Blueskies94

Original post by Katerina S.

If you don't have good social skills that will be one big problem. If you are noticeably overweight that could be another problem potentially.

Are you male or female?

I’m male. I just did a short video on how I typically ask a girl out. Maybe this would point to any errors in my approach? https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CwGVV1ZoIo2lISoauGONuN7gvAYm9XKz/view?usp=sharing

Reply 5

PectoralFly

Simple answer. Yes. If you wanna feel soooo much better physically and mentally. Start the gym.

Reply 6

Blueskies94

Original post by a07164

Simple answer. Yes. If you wanna feel soooo much better physically and mentally. Start the gym.

I’m sure the mental aspect improves as long as I’m consistent. Btw, did you watch the video I put in my last post?

Reply 7

PectoralFly

If you're a guy, even better. You will put muscle on very quickly. If you want a good routine, just let me know. I used to be overweight, starting the gym was the best decision i have made

Reply 8

FutureMissMRCS

Think you just lack confidence in yourself. I think the most attractive quality about a person is someone who is confident and sure of themselves. Also think the main thing about being attractive to a girl, is how you make the girl feel when you're with them, if you make them feel good about themselves and comfortable around you then it draws them in. But that's just my opinion, by no means an expert.

Reply 9

gjd800

It won't be the reason, but it could be (likely is) one reason of many.

Reply 10

ICEcold_Stoic

Without trying to sound too preachy, try losing weight and working on your social skills. Your confidence will skyrocket once you start to take care of yourself and the ladies will pick up on that.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blueskies94

I struggle with Asperger’s syndrome and am naturally an introvert. Do I need to continue losing weight to be more attractive?

Hey, I also have been diagnosed with Asperger’s. It definitely makes socialisation more complicated at times. It also amplifies being introverted. I can understand social struggles you may have.

to answer your question: no. No, you do not need to lose weight for attractiveness. The only reason you should lose weight is for your own personal choice.
Conventionally, yes, thin is more attractive. However, this is being challenged more than ever now socially. And people will often say confidence is what matters. Not size.

you will find someone who loves you for you not your size. And if you meet someone because you have lost weight, could you also tell they’d love you if you gained that weight back?
most important is having someone who is understanding to you, accommodates your Asperger’s and allows you to feel safe.