Freshers party, should I go?

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Reply 1

We Sink

12

No I'd advise not to, there's going to be lots of drinking and if it isn't your scene it isn't your scene

Reply 2

user1567945

13

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

If you know you will become anxious but also scared of missing out of advice to see if anyone else is going you may know- like a flatmate. Or go, and leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable. Alternatively message someone whilst you’re there then leave when uncomfortable. But if you know this may cause a panic attack, it will be completely okay to stay inside, there will be other people who will too!

Reply 3

(Oxon)

3

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Trust me when I say I share the same feeling that you do (I'm an introvert at heart) but I really think you should go as its important to get to know new people at university and make new friends, and you only get one freshers week so try to make the most of it for any events that are on. There will also be many people there that don't drink just like yourself so don't worry about that. Try to see if anyone in your accommodation is going too and you can go with them. And when you're there, you might find like-minded people and end up leaving early and doing your own thing. And worst case scenario, even if you end up hating the experience, at least you know that you gave it a go.

Many things in life require trade-offs and sometimes being out of your comfort zone is a good learning experience, especially for introverts - events like these are just one-off things and its good to just put yourself out there and see what happens. Even if you're still feeling anxious after reading this, I do hope you choose to go regardless :smile:

(edited 7 months ago)

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Hi,

Firstly I can't tell you whether to go or not, this is up to you but we can discuss it a bit. If your worry is that you will miss out on making friends, then I would say do not go. Freshers week events (especially the ones in clubs in the evenings) only last about a week or two, people spend the whole year meeting people so will you not miss out on meeting people at all. You might just meet more later on in societies for example.

Have you seen any events that are being held for people who don't like drinking/partying that your university might be hosting? I would say its worth finding out about these that your university or student union at university is holding as you might find people you are similar to there than you would in the clubs. The people who are going on nights out are likely to be extroverted and enjoy activities like this ie if you become friends with them you might not want to go out as often as they want to and feel left out. I don't drink either and I do not like big crowds too, the way I see it is that if you want to make friends who are like you, is to go to events and do activities that you like so you can find people similar to you.

Finally, it is completely normal to be nervous about university. You do need to make sure you get out of your comfort zone every so often to help grow as a person sometimes but ultimately you know when its best to push yourself. If you do not feel comfortable attending events but you want to try it, you can tell yourself that you will go and if you hate being there for more than 5 minutes for example, then you can go home. This way you can be proud that you gave it a go even if you did not enjoy it. Alternatively, if you have some flatmates that want to go or are a bit apprehensive too you can agree to go together and stand outside the venue for a bit but if you aren't happy then someone can walk back home with you. If you don't feel comfortable opening up about this to your flatmates you can always use your student support service or staff working/promoting these events (or student ambassadors if there are any!).

If it helps, I and a lot of other people I know at university did not attend any freshers/cubbing style events and we experienced university similarly to how people who went did.

I hope this helped a bit :smile:

.
Alia
University of Kent Student Rep

Reply 5

Chronoscope

Volunteer Section Leader

21

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

I'm an introvert too :five:

There's no harm in going even if you don't drink. Plus you can always leave early if you aren't feeling the vibes.

Reply 6

hilly-harrier

7

Original post by (Oxon)

Trust me when I say I share the same feeling that you do (I'm an introvert at heart) but I really think you should go as its important to get to know new people at university and make new friends, and you only get one freshers week so try to make the most of it for any events that are on. There will also be many people there that don't drink just like yourself so don't worry about that. Try to see if anyone in your accommodation is going too and you can go with them. And when you're there, you might find like-minded people and end up leaving early and doing your own thing. And worst case scenario, even if you end up hating the experience, at least you know that you gave it a go.

Many things in life require trade-offs and sometimes being out of your comfort zone is a good learning experience, especially for introverts - events like these are just one-off things and its good to just put yourself out there and see what happens. Even if you're still feeling anxious after reading this, I do hope you choose to go regardless :smile:

They have a whole 3 years or more to go to uni parties. You're not going to meet your uni bff at the freshers party! It's really unhelpful to suggest that you only have one week to make all your uni friends when most people make friends via their classes or their flatmates etc. Parties where everyone is getting drunk isn’t where you get to know people! You can meet new people at uni at loads of events not just at freshers. Also parties are going to be way more fun when people have settled in a bit.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by user1567945

If you know you will become anxious but also scared of missing out of advice to see if anyone else is going you may know- like a flatmate. Or go, and leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable. Alternatively message someone whilst you’re there then leave when uncomfortable. But if you know this may cause a panic attack, it will be completely okay to stay inside, there will be other people who will too!

Thanks so much for your help. :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by hilly-harrier

They have a whole 3 years or more to go to uni parties. You're not going to meet your uni bff at the freshers party! It's really unhelpful to suggest that you only have one week to make all your uni friends when most people make friends via their classes or their flatmates etc. Parties where everyone is getting drunk isn’t where you get to know people! You can meet new people at uni at loads of events not just at freshers. Also parties are going to be way more fun when people have settled in a bit.

Thanks, yh that makes more sense, I think I will wait till I get to know some people better first. Thank you !

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Hello,

I’m a BA Dance student from the University of Lincoln.
I completely understand that freshers parties are perhaps not your scene and there are loads of other events and activities you can take part in that are not drink or large crowd based.
I perhaps suggest giving one freshers night event a try… you never know you might have loads of fun and meet other people who also feel a little nervous
However, if it’s something that you perhaps didn’t enjoy so much- take the opportunity to join a society whereby you can get to know friends through activities that are more social-able or find a new hobby!
Remember it’s always good to try new things and it’s okay if sometimes they are not your favourite thing to do but at least you gave it your best shot!

I hope this helps,
Abigail

Reply 10

user1567945

13

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks so much for your help. :smile:

Of course! I was in first year, and was exactly the same boat. Went to a party as did not want to miss out, but I am not the party-type. I was there for a little, found someone who didn’t drink, and hung around with them. When I felt anxious and overwhelmed, it helped as a friend was available to text who was not at the party, nor the uni. When it got very crowded with strobing lights and very loud music, i noticed I did not like it anymore, and left for myself. I left and felt so relieved in my dorm. Felt glad I managed to show my face, and met some nice people. Funny moments there too! Despite not being there for too long, so many people handed out their Snapchat as they also want to make connections. :smile:

Reply 11

hilly-harrier

7

Also lots of unis are doing more chill Freshers events like crafting parties and movie nights, there's absolutely nothing wrong with knowing your own self and doing what you're comfortable with. Go at your own pace, it's just one week out of many.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks so much for all your replies, they are all really helpful :smile:

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Hi there

I think if you are not good with large crowds and don't like drinking, maybe you should not go.

As an introvert, I also find freshers parties quite intimidating. As I know parties would drain my energy a lot, I did not go to drinking events during first year or second year. Whilst I may have missed out on meeting some new people, I have managed to make close friends through societies and my course.

You could always decide to go to parties after freshers week, or even in other years. You would have friends that you are comfortable with that could go with you, so you wouldn't miss out on it as part of the Uni experience.

Take things easy at University, there are many other non-drinking events where you can meet new people.

Hope this helps. :smile:

Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Hi there!

I’m Pip, a third year TV Production student. I wouldn’t recommend you put yourself in a scenario where you may get anxious, especially if you’re on your own. Have you looked at all the events your uni is putting on for Freshers week? For example, Bournemouth Uni has got things like Quiz nights, comedy nights, and Street fairs on which may be more your style! If you check your university’s social media, you could find something you’re more comfortable with! I have some friends that don’t drink and it doesn’t mean they’re any less part of our socialising, so more people thank you think will be in the same boat 🙂

Also, this party isn’t your only opportunity to make friends. You could look into joining a club or society.

Good luck!

Pip

Reply 15

Wired_1800

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I am not sure whether I should go to my uni freshers party. I don't do well in big crowds and can get really anxious and I also don't drink. I don't want to miss out though on meeting new people and feel that I should go as its part of the uni experience. Any advice please?

Yes. Please go

Freshers party, should I go?

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