The Student Room Group

Making friends as a commuting student

Let me give a quick rundown. I joined in January after dropping out of a russel group university. Due to my anxiety, I was forced to commute from home, so I joined a uni near home in their January intake. Not as good, but at this point I just want a degree. Not many students joined in January (especially home students), and I was with first-year students in their second semester. I was unable to make any friends, and I felt awkward joining societies mid-way through the academic year.

Fast-forward to now and I'm joining first-year students who have just joined, meaning I have a better chance to make friends, but as I'm technically a continuing student I wasn't invited to any of the freshers events. I haven't found anyone on my course online yet despite searching, and I'm scared that by the time I arrive for my first seminar, everyone will be in their friend bubbles already. Is there anything I can do? I'm planning on joining some societies, but I'm getting anxious about being alone once again and switching between two different cohorts every other semester.
Hi there,

I am currently a third year in university, who also commutes from home and making friends, especially in my first year, was quite difficult. However it got a lot better as I went into my second year. This was mainly because, despite my social anxiety, one day I decided to leave my comfort zone and go to my fellow university course mates and ask them if I would be able to hang out with them, and they said yes. And that's how I managed to meet new people.
Furthermore, I also joined societies, attended online events and became a Student Ambassador and especially through my role as a Student Ambassador, I have managed to meet many new and amazing people, all in different years (1st, 2nd and 3rd year). It's never too late to meet new people. It does take up a lot of courage. Just the thought of asking my university course mates to hang out made me feel anxious, worried they might think I'm weird or they'll say no etc. Nevertheless, it was after I asked to hang out, when I realised it's all in my head and unless force I myself out of my comfort zone, I'll struggle to have a wonderful time. :smile:

I hope this helped.

Kind regards,

Coventry University Student Ambassador
Original post by Anonymous
Let me give a quick rundown. I joined in January after dropping out of a russel group university. Due to my anxiety, I was forced to commute from home, so I joined a uni near home in their January intake. Not as good, but at this point I just want a degree. Not many students joined in January (especially home students), and I was with first-year students in their second semester. I was unable to make any friends, and I felt awkward joining societies mid-way through the academic year.

Fast-forward to now and I'm joining first-year students who have just joined, meaning I have a better chance to make friends, but as I'm technically a continuing student I wasn't invited to any of the freshers events. I haven't found anyone on my course online yet despite searching, and I'm scared that by the time I arrive for my first seminar, everyone will be in their friend bubbles already. Is there anything I can do? I'm planning on joining some societies, but I'm getting anxious about being alone once again and switching between two different cohorts every other semester.

Hi,

I am also a commuting student going into my final year. Making friends is understandably a daunting idea.

I found some of my friends through being a student rep, student ambassador and talking to people on my course like @Coventry University Student Ambassadors. Roles like student ambassador are great because you get to meet new people and make money at the same time (which you can use to spend on days/nights out with friends). A lot of peoples friendships will change over the course of university and it is completely normal so you may feel like everyone knows each other really well but chances are they have known each other for a few days!

Which societies do you plan on joining? We have a therapeutic arts society at my university and I want to join it to make sure I fully relax for at least an hour every week! So make sure you have things outside of university for yourself too.

Good luck! :smile:

Alia
University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
Let me give a quick rundown. I joined in January after dropping out of a russel group university. Due to my anxiety, I was forced to commute from home, so I joined a uni near home in their January intake. Not as good, but at this point I just want a degree. Not many students joined in January (especially home students), and I was with first-year students in their second semester. I was unable to make any friends, and I felt awkward joining societies mid-way through the academic year.

Fast-forward to now and I'm joining first-year students who have just joined, meaning I have a better chance to make friends, but as I'm technically a continuing student I wasn't invited to any of the freshers events. I haven't found anyone on my course online yet despite searching, and I'm scared that by the time I arrive for my first seminar, everyone will be in their friend bubbles already. Is there anything I can do? I'm planning on joining some societies, but I'm getting anxious about being alone once again and switching between two different cohorts every other semester.

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. There has been some great responses already, but hopefully I can reassure you a bit.

Making friends at university can be really difficult, especially if you commute or find it daunting to approach others! However, you can definitely make friends, and you'll have loads of opportunities to do so. It's great that you're already planning on joining some societies, as these will be people with a common interest and something to talk about!

Although it's difficult at first, I would also recommend sitting next to someone new in your class. You might be able to start a conversation this way, and I'm sure that most people will be more than happy to include you. Chatting about the class, societies, or literally anything, and asking for their social media might help? It is really scary at first, and I felt the same, but it pays off to be able to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

As it has been said before, you might want to look into becoming a Student Ambassador or finding a student job. I found this to be a great way to meet new people, and talk to students and staff from all corners of the university! It's also a great way to be active on your campus/online and earn a little money while doing so. I also found that becoming a Student Ambassador helped to massively improve my confidence, which has then helped me to be more confident in making friends elsewhere!

I hope this helped, and best of luck!

Isabella

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