The Student Room Group

Can you still make friends at university living at home?

I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.
Original post by Anonymous
I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.

Hi,

Congratulations on getting into university! How are you feeling about the course you will be doing?

I live 15 minutes by car and 1 hour by bus from my university. I was very worried about making friends too. I also dont drink or like to party so I definitely did not think I was going to make any friends. Hopefully you will find others who commute and are in the same boat (this is how I started to find my friends) and then I met more people on my course. Making friends can seem scary but you may need to remind yourself every now and then that they are also probably scared and want to make friends too. There are ways to make friends with people on your course such as sitting next to new people in your lectures/seminars and joining societies. Outside of this you can become a student representative, student ambassador or if your uni hires students in cafes/libraries this can be a great way to make some extra cash and make friends.

As you say you are shy, it might be worth joining some freshers group chats and try arrange meet ups or join meet ups that are happening. You might feel more comfortable with them after finding common ground over text before you meet in person.

Do remember that its okay for friends/friendship groups to change overtime and that you have different friends at the end of first year than you did at the beginning.

Let me know if you want to chat about this more :smile:.

Alia
University of Kent Student Rep
Reply 2
I am sure you will make some friends, no matter how shy your are.
Congrats!
Original post by Anonymous
I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.

Hi Anon,

Congratulations on getting into university!

This is an exciting time for you, so I would not worry too much! A lot of people will be in the same boat and may also be worried about this (e.g., commuting students, shy, and worried about making friends), but there are loads of opportunities to meet people. I'm not personally a commuting student, but even if you are, you will have the opportunity to meet people in Welcome Week, on your course, in sports and societies, and on campus/around your local area. As long as you make an effort to put yourself out there a little bit and talk to new people, you'll be okay!

I would recommend going to Welcome Week and any other events your university has going on at this time, as well as looking into joining a sport or society that interests you. It may be difficult at first, but that's normal, and you'll be glad that you did!

I hope this helps, and good luck!
Isabella
Original post by Anonymous
I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.

There's always opportunities to make friends, it may just require a tad more effort. Make a point of joining clubs or societies so you have common ground immediately with those who also have also joined and be open to talking to those in your lectures. Even if they are living on campus, everyone will still be nervous in the first few days so you'll all be in the same boat.
Good luck! :smile:
Original post by University of Sunderland Student Ambassador
There's always opportunities to make friends, it may just require a tad more effort. Make a point of joining clubs or societies so you have common ground immediately with those who also have also joined and be open to talking to those in your lectures. Even if they are living on campus, everyone will still be nervous in the first few days so you'll all be in the same boat.
Good luck! :smile:

It will be a little harder. If you join clubs and societies make a point of going to as many social's as you can financially afford instead of leaving early get a hotel room same as if you join a sports team. If you can make friends with people in halls that's great one guy my brother knew ended up living in his kitchen despite actually having a room in the very next block not even 25 metres away.so if worst comes to worst you could do that for a night or two if your too smashed to get home.

You could start an soc of your own for Commuting students do trips at the weekend or early evening like going to the cinema or Thorpe park stuff like that.

If it gets too difficult people drop out a lot in the first few weeks and after Christmas ( know I did before I changed uni i still stayed in halls at uni 2 though) so you may be able to find a place then if you want to.
Original post by Anonymous
I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.

Hi!

I commuted to university as I only lived a bus ride away, and I made friends for life, especially with those on my course who then introduced me to their flatmates and other friends they'd made.

Starting university is a scary thing, especially so for those who commute as they may not have experienced welcome week or freshers week the same as those who arrived early to check into their accommodation. It's completely normal to feel nervous. I was so shy when I started university but I noticed that my confidence soon picked up and I would randomly chat to people I came across, such as waiting to go into a lecture, getting food from the university canteen, and on campus.

Joining university group chats and looking at university societies, like others have suggested, is also a great way of making new friends and finding people who have the same interests or worries as yourself.

I hope this helped and good luck with your studies!

Eleanor
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I am going to a uni in London which I live an hour away from. My parents don’t want me to move from home for the first year. All of my friends from sixth form are going to different universities. I don’t know if I will make any friends because I’m very shy and self-conscious especially around people I don’t know. Most people say you will only make close friends if you live at uni.

Hi,
I’ve seen this post and I thought I should share my story. I decided to stay home and commute because accommodation rent was too expensive and I commute around 1hr 30mins. I’m not very social either and I really struggled on the first day of uni. I had missed the first induction day they had so it was really hard when I met everyone and they already had their own little groups made.

I will say join societies and you really have to put yourself out there. Don’t stick to the first set of people you meet, talk to as many people as you can. I know it’s hard but since you’re all first years there are some topics of conversation that can easily be talked about. What I liked to do was ask people random questions about anything just so we can talk for a while and not the usual “where you from, what do you study?” kind of questions.
I’m not too fond of going out and I do regret it. I had missed freshers and welcome week because I was too scared of travelling that far, I really wished I had gone. But I did manage to make some friends, most people are friendly since you are all in the same environment. I don’t have too many friends but I would recommend joining societies. I never found any societies they interested me in my uni but I still joined some to try it out.
My first year I had only two friends I would sit with and hang with during the lecture but by the end of the year I had many many more. Give it time and soon you’ll have many friends.
It may sound really hard and probably is but try to put yourself out there. I know everyone says that but it’s the only thing you can really do. Be confident and most importantly be you.
You got this!! <3
Hi there,

Its understandable to be nervous but the important thing to remember is that everyone is in the same boat. All the students are starting university for the first time and are probably just as worried as you are so dont be afraid of them!

My best advice is to join societies. Personally i have made 90% of my friends from the socities i joined and it feels like gaining a whole new family. Have a look on your universities website to see what they offer and join any and all that shout out to you. You won't stick with everything but its a great way to get out your comfort zone, meet new people and you may even find a new passion.

While living away is great its not vital to making friends. Some people really bond with those they live with while others may not so much. Univeristy is full of opportunities from your classes and group projects to events hosted by the students and socities/clubs etc.

It all comes in good time. I am yet to meet a student who can honestly say they dont have friends so i wouldnt worry. One way or another you'll be meeting new people and making lots of new friends.

Hope this helped,
Sophie

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