lonely at uni
why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Reply 1
Hi! I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time at uni, it can be really difficult to get through it when you're feeling lonely. Not everyone finds their lifelong best friends at university, that is definitely a misconception! However, joining societies, engaging consistently in seminars or other in person classes can really go a long way. Never be afraid to take the first step in befriending someone, you never know they might be feeling a similar way.
I hope things get better for you
-Kat (2nd year psychology student at Lancaster University)
I hope things get better for you
-Kat (2nd year psychology student at Lancaster University)
Reply 2
Original post
by Anonymous #1why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Hi,
I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely at uni ☹️ that must be really tough. I myself am a commuter and can definitely relate to you. It’s hard to form connections when other students are living the “uni life” and clubbing and going to other accommodations, so don’t feel alone in the way you’re feeling I totally understand. I think the main thing is to put yourself out there, you and me have got to make that extra bit of effort due to the fact we do commute and not around 24/7 so I think that’s really important. Chatting to people in your classes who are also sitting alone, or chatting to a group next to you. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t be daunted by talking, if someone is a good person and those connections you want is for you, they won’t push you away and ignore you, and if they do, that connection isn’t for you.
One extra thing is I found that groupchats are really helpful ! Whether that be Facebook or a society. That’s how I found my friendship through a Facebook group and I feel it is a meaningful friendship, whether that be for life or just for the years of uni, it will serve me well.
I hope this has given you some reassurance in you not feeling alone in your feelings as I definitely resonate with you, and so do so many others! You’ll get there and what’s meant for you will come around
Lily - 2nd year Psychology Student @ ARU
ARU digital student rep
Reply 3
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling lonely ☹️ Sometimes these things can take a little bit to kick in and being in a new place can make it difficult for anyone.
Have you joined any clubs or societies while there? I found most of my friends from joining salsa society at my university and can honestly say I have made some very deep and meaningful connections through such. Societies are a great way to meet lots of people at once and it helps get things along when you have a mutual interest to bond over!
Commuting may be hard as it removes the opportunity of living with other students however this doesn't mean you still cant gain that closeness! I think its important to stay confident and open. It can be daunting when people may already have groups but generally it doesn't hurt to just talk to people, join in open plans, go to the socials. More often than not university students are happy to chat to anyone, just takes someone to start the conversation.
Good luck with everything and I hope you meet lots of new and interesting people,
-Sophie (uni of Bath)
I am sorry to hear you are feeling lonely ☹️ Sometimes these things can take a little bit to kick in and being in a new place can make it difficult for anyone.
Have you joined any clubs or societies while there? I found most of my friends from joining salsa society at my university and can honestly say I have made some very deep and meaningful connections through such. Societies are a great way to meet lots of people at once and it helps get things along when you have a mutual interest to bond over!
Commuting may be hard as it removes the opportunity of living with other students however this doesn't mean you still cant gain that closeness! I think its important to stay confident and open. It can be daunting when people may already have groups but generally it doesn't hurt to just talk to people, join in open plans, go to the socials. More often than not university students are happy to chat to anyone, just takes someone to start the conversation.
Good luck with everything and I hope you meet lots of new and interesting people,
-Sophie (uni of Bath)
Reply 4
Original post
by Anonymous #1why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so lonely as a commuter, that sounds really tough.
It can take time to create meaningful connections with people, so just know that you are not alone in feeling this way. It may also seem like everyone has found their friends, but groups change a lot throughout university, so don't be discouraged!
The best thing to do when you're feeling this way is to try to make connections. Join or try out a sport or society, find part-time work, volunteer, and do what you enjoy! I have met so many great people through being a student ambassador and volunteering in the city, so I'd say just find something you enjoy and put yourself out there.
Since you are a commuting student, it might be nice to plan a date and time to hang out with a class mate or your uni friend outside of university. This way, you can have something to look forward to and can continue to make plans with them afterwards if you get along well.
It can be hard - but you've got this! Best of luck,
Isabella 🙂
Reply 5
Original post
by Anonymous #1why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Anon,
Are you aware of others who commute? Could you start a commuting society to try and reach out to more commuters on campus? Have you tried asking if there is anyone in your course who live close to you? Could you commute together?
If you are arriving really early, are there places where you can hang out? Could you arrange to meet someone for a coffee to discuss work, to revise or meet for breakfast as a way of getting to know them better?
I know in Huddersfield, there's a cafe/restaurant that does a great Turkish breakfast. Perhaps you could go to a new coffee shop in the area or try breakfast at different places. You might also need to stay a bit longer after lectures so that you have time to hang out with people. (If you are just making it on time for lectures and rushing off after lectures are done, then it's going to be pretty difficult to make friends.) Are you able to stay for an hour or two after a lecture? Have you tried inviting people to hang out on the weekend? Have you exchanged contact details with people in your class? Is there someone you could phone and chat to (even if you can't stay long at university)?
It's takes time to form friendships, but you also have to spend time with people to build those friendships and to be able to build meaningful and real connections. Friendships take a lot of work! You have to make the effort and hope that people respond, but if you do form great friendships it can be worth the extra effort now : )
Don't lose heart! If you can join a society (maybe one that runs at lunchtime) or if you are willing to stay late at least one evening in the week to attend a society, then this might help you to begin to meet new people.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post
by Anonymous #1why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Hi there,
I commuted myself in my 1st year and found it similar, I think alot of people make friends in their accommodation. There are often groups of commuters so you could try and become friends with them. I would also recommend joining some societies, even as a commuter you can still attend events and things, this is a good way to make friends.
I hope this helps
Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Reply 7
Original post
by Anonymous #1why is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Hey,
I can't say I am a commuter but I do feel quite lonely sometimes as a 4th Year living on campus when all my friends are in town. Here are some suggestions for you to think about that have personally helped me:
•
Join some societies
•
Join your local gym and talk to some people whilst you're there - you never know who you might bump into.
•
Online group chats for your university in general, I am sure there are lots of other people feeling the same way and wanting a new buddy!
•
Talk to people on your commute, e.g. sit next to someone who looks like your vibe on the bus, and ask how their day is.
Honestly, I really believe that if you put yourself out there and talk to people, it makes a whole load of difference. I understand that with social anxiety, etc. this can sometimes be difficult, for me included, but when you think about it, there are three ways these conversations will go: a. you meet a new friend, or b. they ignore you - that's fine, they aren't your person and they won't remember you in ten minutes anyway, or c. it's awkward but you both forget the interaction ever happened.
Hope this helps,
Tyler (LU Student Ambassador)
Reply 8
Original post
by Anonymouswhy is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Im a first year and always had lots of friends at school but feel completely isolated from my peers now I commute
Reply 9
Original post
by May322Im a first year and always had lots of friends at school but feel completely isolated from my peers now I commute
Hi,
It can be hard when you are commuting as you are further away.
Have you joined any societies? I've found these to be great ways of making friends and meeting new people. If you are don't live too far away, I would suggest joining a society and going in each week to do this as they are really fun. You can get some that you only have to go in once a week or even less than this as this may be more doable for you.
I would also suggest to ask your course friends if they want to do things after you have finished uni for the day. If you have something on in the morning, ask them if they want to go for lunch or a coffee after uni. Or ask them to go for dinner or go to the library together and study/do your assignments. If they are living in accommodation, they probably will have time so it's worth asking as they will likely want to make friends too.
I would also look on Facebook or other social media and see if there are any groups for your university. There usually are and sometimes they also have groups specifically for commuters so it's worth looking as you may meet some people this way. If you do, ask them if they want to meet up as this is another good way of making some friends.
I would say that in general, being a commuter student means you have to put in a bit more effort than people who are already living at uni, just due to the fact that you may not be there when plans are made and you have to travel further t g to plans. If you make plans in advance with people, chances are they will say yes, it just requires you to plan it a little bit more! It's worth doing though!
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Reply 10
Thank you
Reply 11
hey i’m here if you’d like to talk
Reply 12
Original post
by Anonymouswhy is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Hey there,
One thing I've learned is that real, lasting friendships often take time to build. Joining clubs or societies related to your interests can be a great way to meet like-minded people. Also, don't hesitate to reach out to people in your classes or study groups. Remember, it's okay to take the initiative. You never know, some other students might be feeling the same way as you do. Hang in there and remember, it's quality, not quantity, that matters when it comes to friendships.
Let me know if you have any questions,
Ilya
Reply 13
Original post
by Anonymouswhy is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
Same :/
Reply 14
Original post
by Anonymouswhy is uni so lonely especially as a commuter?
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
i feel like people have their own groups and friends and its hard to make friends who arent just uni friends like i want meaningful and real connections that will last
like im in my second year of uni and have only made one friend who is basically just a uni friend
ME TOO OMG. uni has been so paralyzingly lonely that I've considered dropping out. I always had the expectation that I'd meet "my people", you know? And to not have that and sit alone evey single lecture and not speak to a single soul every time i go to uni has been so hard for my self esteem and confidence. It feels like there's something wrong with me, but atleast its universal and you also feel the same 😭😭 Im also in my second year and can't help but uni will always be like this :c
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