No friends at uni in second year - am I doomed?
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Societies are absolutely useful for making friends. Join any that you might be remotely interested in. Not for the society itself, but for the interaction with others, and the social side of things.
And yes, you can turn this around. It won't happen on its own, but will require action (and possibly effort) on your part.
Friendship groups constantly change and move throughout university. Most of my first year friends dropped out by the first few months of second year so I had to find new friends and it was surprisingly easy.
Lots of people latch on to the first people they meet and then end up moving into shared housing in second year. There’s nothing like splitting bills, picking who gets the small room, tidying up someone else’s mess in the kitchen/bathroom etc and dealing with various boyfriends/girlfriends and the associated drama to put those friendships under stress. A lot of those friendships don’t survive (or don’t stay so close) and people start looking elsewhere.
Working on campus, societies and course group work are all possibilities for making new connections. Don’t rule someone out just because they weren’t sociable with you in first year.
Be yourself, be open to new experiences and people and do what makes you happy…you’ll almost certainly stumble across people who enjoy the same things as you.
Lots of people latch on to the first people they meet and then end up moving into shared housing in second year. There’s nothing like splitting bills, picking who gets the small room, tidying up someone else’s mess in the kitchen/bathroom etc and dealing with various boyfriends/girlfriends and the associated drama to put those friendships under stress. A lot of those friendships don’t survive (or don’t stay so close) and people start looking elsewhere.
Working on campus, societies and course group work are all possibilities for making new connections. Don’t rule someone out just because they weren’t sociable with you in first year.
Be yourself, be open to new experiences and people and do what makes you happy…you’ll almost certainly stumble across people who enjoy the same things as you.
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hi Anon,
Yes, you can absolutely turn this around. It is completely normal for friendship groups to change during university, and it's very common for people to not stay friends or in regular contact with the first people they meet.
Finding a job on campus, joining sports and societies, volunteering, and talking to people on your course/in your classes are all ways you can make new friends, and I have personally found that people are always willing to meet new people and make friends! It requires some effort from you, and this can be difficult if it isn't something you're very comfortable with, but it is definitely worth it.
My advice for the rest of your time at university would be to get involved, be open to new experiences and people, and enjoy yourself. You'll find your people, it may just take some time.
I hope this helps and best of luck,
Isabella
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hey!
I personally transferred unis for second year, so naturally also started second year with no friends. I did try and join a couple of societies initially and made a couple friends that way. I'd definitely recommend joining a society if there's one you're really interested in as you can definitely make friends! However, I'm not a super extroverted person so did struggle a little bit personally.
To be honest, I actually found most of the friends I've made (and had the longest-lasting friendships with) have actually just been people I met naturally on my course through classes and group work. I wouldn't stress too much though, you still have 2 (or 3?) years left of uni, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
Best of luck with everything!
Natalie
University of Kent Student Rep (PhD Psychology)
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hi @anonymous #1,
I’m sorry you feel this way!
Sometimes university isn’t as straight forward as everyone likes to think. Not having friends in your second year of university does not mean you are doomed! While having a supportive social network can enhance your university experience, it's important to remember that friendships can develop and evolve over time.
I think looking into societies and other social events is a great way to get yourself back out there. Perhaps look into something you enjoy doing in your spare time; you will most likely meet new people who share common interests! For example, I like to go running so, I joined a few running clubs and events where I engaged in conversation with all types of people and I was open and honest about how difficult it can be making friends in a new city. You’ll find that most people feel the same but, it only takes one person to start-up a conversation about that and suddenly you’re chatting away to lots of new people!
Good luck in your second year, I’m wishing you all the best,
Ellie
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hi there
It is definitely possible to meet new people and build new friendships (whichever year of University you are in). My friendship groups have shifted quite a bit throughout University too.
There is no pressure to only make friends with people in your year, you can really make friends with anyone.
Joining societies is definitely a good idea. I would recommend joining societies that you actually have an interest in and an environment that you like. Or you may like to try out something new! Stepping out of your comfort zone can be quite difficult, but I would recommend giving it a go, I am sure you will meet a lot of new people.Take your time and good luck!
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hey there!
Don't panic! It's definitely not too late. You're probably not the only person who feels this way so you've just got to find those people. Societies are a great way to make friends and meet new people so if you wanted to start there then that wouldn't be a bad move. Try and pick out the people that appear likeminded to you because one of the best ways to meet new people is to be introduced to them by mutual friends. I've met some of my best friends this way. Try and strike up a conversation with people who seem quite extroverted because you'll end up meeting people who are pretty easy to get along with. Don't take a negative mindset on it because you'll end up putting yourself in a box of negative thoughts that you can't get out of. Have a positive outlook on the situation and just put yourself in scenarios where you're likely to meet new people. For example, joining societies, pub nights or even going to social spaces such as the gym has really helped me. At the end of the day, at least you don't have a negative group of friends, you're just staying in your own lane and surrounding yourself with people who serve you as a person.
You've got this!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hi there,
I really would recommend joining lots of societies you are interested in. They are a great way to meet like minded people who you have interests in common with. It is a really helpful way to make friends.
You can definitely make friends at any time in uni, I know some of my friends have changed from 1st to 4th year.
I hope this helps,
Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Similar boat, Y2 in London. What uni do you go?
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Hi there,
Please don't worry, you can make friends at any point in University so it's never too late. There is also likely to be others who are feeling the same way as you so you're not alone. As others have mentioned, societies and clubs are great ways to meet likeminded people and develop strong friendships at University. Maybe also have a look for events that your University is putting on and any that you like why not get involved and connect with other students. Another great way to meet people is through applying to become a student ambassador where you will get paid to help out at events with other students.
I wish you all the best,
Sarah
Original post by Anonymous
As the title says, I have no close friends at uni.
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
I did at the start last year, but it all sort of fell apart and now I'm living in a studio on my own.
I don't really feel lonely yet even though I've been back for a few weeks - my family are only 2 hours away on the train and my boyfriend is still in London for another week, but I just don't know what to do after that.
Are societies actually useful for making friends because I didn't get around to joining any last year. Is there any chance I will actually be able to turn this around?
Heya!
If you’re struggling to make new friends and don’t have any close friends at uni definitely don’t panic! So many people like you will be in the same position and it’s never too late to meet new people!
My top tips would definitely include joining new societies based on your interests as people will likely be more similar to you in what they like and you’ll have more in common! For example, I joined my university’s environmental and scuba societies as they’re both things I’m passionate about and made some great new friends because they have similar interests to me! What hobbies/things do you enjoy doing? Why not try some new societies you’ve never thought of trying before if you’re not sure as this is a great way to get stuck in!
I’d also recommend going to any volunteering/activity days your uni is running. I’ve met some great new friends through volunteering with others are you’re all working on a project together getting stuck in and likely have similar interests too whilst doing something great for your community (plus being great experience for your CV etc.!)
Good luck and enjoy your second year!
- Alfie, University of Plymouth Undergraduate Student Rep
Hiya,
As everyone has kindly advised friendships change and it’s a learning curve of life unfortunately but it’s never too late to turn it around so please don’t forget that.
Another thing to remember is quite a lot of people will be in the exact same boat as yourself so don’t put too much pressure on this, one thing I have learned whilst being a student is that it gives you time to reflect and focus on yourself and spend time with your own company and develop as an adult.
One thing I would recommend is trying to join a society
, even if you’re not that enthusiastic about the theme of the club but it still looks fun; you can still join and just attend for the social activities so you can get to know the members better and develop some friendships.
Try and connect to those in class – on my course, not a lot of people talk to each other but when there is workshops/seminars the smaller groups allow those that do attend to talk to each other even if it is about the lectures and their day. Hopefully, these small convos can lead to friendships and daily interactions with your peers.
Look at the events that are happening on your campus; it tends to be at most universities the student union runs various events for their students. At DMU our union runs events for anyone to join and tries to run as often as they can for example Wednesdays, we have a well-being day and they run an activity every week so people can join and hopefully be encouraged to come to the next ones and there will be familiar faces.
For me, I have got a job at my university which has been amazing for building social connections as everyone is from a different background at the university
and hopefully there’s something available at your university like there is at DMU; here is what’s available for our students.
I hope this helps and provides some form of comfort, if you would like to ask me anything please message.
-Maddie
As everyone has kindly advised friendships change and it’s a learning curve of life unfortunately but it’s never too late to turn it around so please don’t forget that.
Another thing to remember is quite a lot of people will be in the exact same boat as yourself so don’t put too much pressure on this, one thing I have learned whilst being a student is that it gives you time to reflect and focus on yourself and spend time with your own company and develop as an adult.One thing I would recommend is trying to join a society
, even if you’re not that enthusiastic about the theme of the club but it still looks fun; you can still join and just attend for the social activities so you can get to know the members better and develop some friendships. Try and connect to those in class – on my course, not a lot of people talk to each other but when there is workshops/seminars the smaller groups allow those that do attend to talk to each other even if it is about the lectures and their day. Hopefully, these small convos can lead to friendships and daily interactions with your peers.
Look at the events that are happening on your campus; it tends to be at most universities the student union runs various events for their students. At DMU our union runs events for anyone to join and tries to run as often as they can for example Wednesdays, we have a well-being day and they run an activity every week so people can join and hopefully be encouraged to come to the next ones and there will be familiar faces.
For me, I have got a job at my university which has been amazing for building social connections as everyone is from a different background at the university
and hopefully there’s something available at your university like there is at DMU; here is what’s available for our students.I hope this helps and provides some form of comfort, if you would like to ask me anything please message.
-Maddie
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