Discovering Higher and Degree Apprenticeships with UWE Bristol, get free advice >>

Miserable on my PGCE course and don’t know what to do.

I graduated from my undergraduate degree this year, and went straight from that onto my PGCE course except I feel like I’ve made a mistake, I’d convinced myself I should teach secondary, and I’m five weeks into my course, and after spending a week doing a placement in a primary school, I absolutely adored it and had an amazing time, but now I’m in my secondary school placement, I’m only the third day into it and I feel miserable. The atmosphere is so dreary and I just feel so emotionally disconnected from everything.

The simplest solution would be to transfer to a primary school course, except, I’ve heard you can’t really do that for PGCE, you’d have to drop out and join next year, but I don’t really want to do that because it’d mean wasting a year, on top of that there are lots of other things going on. Financially, I have the benefit of a bursary, and I’m also an alumni so I get a discount. I also don’t know if I should make such a big decision when I only spent a week in a primary school, I don’t know what I’ll do if I got sick of teaching small children, and the lesson planning styles are completely different. But, at the same time, if things don’t improve I’d just be making myself miserable. Even if I continue on this course and apply to work in a primary school when I graduate and get in, I don’t want to keep feeling this way for several more months.

It doesn’t help that my course is really strict, I’ve asked around from other teachers on and off the course, as well as others and they all seem to agree, but I also don’t know if I transfer to another university, if I’ll end up with an equally strict course, and what I’m experiencing is just a “rite of passage” everyone has to go through.

What I really want is a break, I just want a day or two off to gather my thoughts, but it feels like I don’t have any time to breathe or process anything. I have to be either in lectures or in schools, every single day non stop, even if there’s nothing going on I’m not allowed to just leave, I have to stay. It feels like punishment to just wait around and do nothing, and watch the same things over and over and over.

By the time the weekend rolls around all I do is sleep. It’s all too much, it’s all too overwhelming, I feel completely burnt out. I feel like I’m letting everyone down if I give up, but I’m just so tired. I just don’t know who to talk to. I feel like I’m always going to be told “we support you and your decision” but what they really mean is “ideally we’d like you to keep going. Don’t give up.” I just don’t know what to do.

Reply 1

hotpud

I'm really sorry to hear this. PGCEs are tough regardless of whether you go to primary or secondary. Yes, primary schools are jolly places but equally you can encounter some really challenging kids and behind the facade of fun is a serious amount of planning and preparation. And that really isn't fun.

It is half term in a couple of weeks. That will give you the much needed break, but the other way to look at it is that half way through the next half term, you will be a third of the way there. Stick with it. After Xmas you will be on a new placement and will hopefully see something contrasting. However, a word of warning. Teaching is not the happy, life changing, making dream, room full of light bulb moments portrayed on TV or even what you say in your primary school. It is a constant emotional and mental slog. But we do it because it is miles better than sitting in a dreary office doing a job no one cares about. And you do make a difference, but it is for the odd kid here and there, not for the whole school.

If you can complete a PGCE, whatever you do afterwards I can guarantee you can do anything!

Good luck.

PS - you won't get better holidays than as a teacher, even if you do get robbed blind to go on holiday in August.

Reply 2

ChammyFTT

The PGCE year is HARD no matter the stage or subject! Especially if you're fresh out of uni because compared to this, that was a doddle. This part of the course is the worst, I promise you - I completed mine this year. It's the worst term in school as it's dark and wet, with lots of new students who are finding their feet and established students trying to be the new "top dog". SLT and staff changes, new curriculums, new course specifications, and the newest teaching methods are all being implemented at once. You have to take all that in as well as learn how to take it all in and use it.

It's all new to you, you're not only expected to think and act like a teacher, you've also got to be a student. It's a really hard balance and it doesn't matter what PGCE you do, it will be the same. Primary has its own challenges as you teach the exact same set of children EVERYTHING for a year. I'm also secondary and love that I get a new set of faces every few periods (we have double lessons for most years) and that I get to only teach the subject I love and have passion for. I hate Maths and English, I just wouldn't be able to be enthusiastic about those subjects to be able to engage the youngest of minds. I only had to do two days in Primary, after being in secondary for a couple of weeks, and I couldn't wait to get back - I'm also a qualified nursery nurse at level 3 so that also came as a shock to me.

It gets easier, especially after Christmas - if your uni is anything like mine was, they start to drop the day in and you get full weeks in school. You'll have started to really get the hang of things and build up a bank of resources. My last 2-3 months were great because I wasn't "watched" as much and felt like I had a little more freedom to teach without being scrutinised.

Once you become a teacher you're in all day, every day, and this is preparing you for that. You'll probably go to school earlier and finish later too as a qualified teacher. It's a proper job. I'm currently making plans to see friends I haven't seen in months during half term because I'm exhausted by the end of the week and don't want to leave the house, that's the reality of this job. Especially as a new teacher.

Also, a note, if you're getting a bursary then you're teaching an in-demand subject, you are much much more likely to walk away with a job at the end. Primary is HARD - it's hard to get onto the PGCE and even harder to find a job. I'm in Facebook ITT/ECT groups and most of those who haven't secured a job in September are primary teachers. They're all now doing supply until a job comes up. As an in-demand teacher, I walked straight into the first role I applied for, started the Monday as I finished the course the Friday, and got paid during the summer - because of being in need.

It's hard, it's exhausting and some days you question every life choice up until this point but I love it! I love my subject and I love it when the kids just get it. There are two teaching weeks left then there is a week's break - you're almost over the first hurdle!!