My teacher ignores me
There's a teacher in my university... who is good in teaching....also he is few years older than us...he talks to every girl in class but me...he looks to everyone in class but me...also he's so energetic while teaching and kinda playful and speaks frankly to everyone...one day my friend and me was standing in hallway and he came and looked at both of us...but talked only to her....in very friendly manner...he was looking at me but didn't talked anything....i felt like leaving....but I didn't...why he's ignoring me like this...I never missed any of his lectures...also I'm good at studies....still why he's behaving like this?
Do you talk to him? Does he actively ignore your questions or just not start conversations with you?
Original post by PQ
Do you talk to him? Does he actively ignore your questions or just not start conversations with you?
He listens to my questions and also solves my doubts.... but never starts conversation with me in playful manner...like he do with other classmates.... never looks towards me in class...I'm an introvert still I know how to talk....i don't start conversation with him because I'm scared of his such behaviour. Also today I noticed a thing...when he was dictating us the notes...I was writing, suddenly I looked towards him and he was looking towards me...then he changed the direction of looking.
(edited 6 months ago)
Hi there , @Baby.45178 ! I'm so sorry that you've felt neglected by one of your lecturers.
The main thing you should be concerned about if this affecting your academics , if the lecturer ignores your emails and academic related questions then I advise you to get some support on the issue. If you were a student at DMU you could get in touch with your personal tutor and discuss it with him , if your university has given you a personal tutor you should send him/her a message.
If the issue is just social it's better to just leave it , university is different to school/college lecturers aren't teachers and the relationships between students and lecturers are different. It may be that you are still adjusting to that change in relationships , lecturers are in contact with hundreds of students and in most cases it is not possible for them to have a personal relationship with each student .
Stay being the kind person you are and surely with time your lecturer will warm up to you socially . I hope this helps .
Cece
Energy Engineering student
De Montfort University
The main thing you should be concerned about if this affecting your academics , if the lecturer ignores your emails and academic related questions then I advise you to get some support on the issue. If you were a student at DMU you could get in touch with your personal tutor and discuss it with him , if your university has given you a personal tutor you should send him/her a message.
If the issue is just social it's better to just leave it , university is different to school/college lecturers aren't teachers and the relationships between students and lecturers are different. It may be that you are still adjusting to that change in relationships , lecturers are in contact with hundreds of students and in most cases it is not possible for them to have a personal relationship with each student .
Stay being the kind person you are and surely with time your lecturer will warm up to you socially . I hope this helps .
Cece
Energy Engineering student
De Montfort University
Original post by Baby.45178
There's a teacher in my university... who is good in teaching....also he is few years older than us...he talks to every girl in class but me...he looks to everyone in class but me...also he's so energetic while teaching and kinda playful and speaks frankly to everyone...one day my friend and me was standing in hallway and he came and looked at both of us...but talked only to her....in very friendly manner...he was looking at me but didn't talked anything....i felt like leaving....but I didn't...why he's ignoring me like this...I never missed any of his lectures...also I'm good at studies....still why he's behaving like this?
Hi there, sorry to hear that you are feeling neglected at University. It is good that he addresses any of your questions and doubts.
As an introvert I understand others may not know how start a conversation with me, as they are unsure how I will react, and they do not know me too well. However, you could try to start a conversation if you are comfortable. Or you could always join the conversation that your friend and lecturer are having.
University can be different to A levels and college. I find that I had closer relationships with my teachers at sixth form, mainly because they do not have that many classes to teach and less students in each class etc. So if you do not want to talk to lecturers that is perfectly fine too.
It is normal for teachers to glance around the room, but if it is making you feel uncomfortable perhaps speaking to friends, family, or those at support and wellbeing could help you?
I hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Baby.45178
He listens to my questions and also solves my doubts.... but never starts conversation with me in playful manner...like he do with other classmates.... never looks towards me in class...I'm an introvert still I know how to talk....i don't start conversation with him because I'm scared of his such behaviour. Also today I noticed a thing...when he was dictating us the notes...I was writing, suddenly I looked towards him and he was looking towards me...then he changed the direction of looking.
His behaviour might be ok but there are very minor alarm bells ringing, if he is concentrating his 'playful' attention on just the girls for instance, or if he is talking to one person but looking at you. Of course, he might be feeling a little unsure about communicating with you if he is sensitive at picking up signals and feels that you are a bit uneasy yourself and he doesn't want to embarrass you. Some people gravitate to certain people, and - not intentionally - seem to ignore others. I'm almost sure that the situation is entirely innocent and it's important not to over-analyse the situation, because it is easy to see things that aren't there, or aren't intended.
Original post by Baby.45178
There's a teacher in my university... who is good in teaching....also he is few years older than us...he talks to every girl in class but me...he looks to everyone in class but me...also he's so energetic while teaching and kinda playful and speaks frankly to everyone...one day my friend and me was standing in hallway and he came and looked at both of us...but talked only to her....in very friendly manner...he was looking at me but didn't talked anything....i felt like leaving....but I didn't...why he's ignoring me like this...I never missed any of his lectures...also I'm good at studies....still why he's behaving like this?
Hi there,
I'm sorry that you feel ignored. I can relate to this to an extent, as a fellow introvert and can generally be quite anxious. I'd say to just make the time to be friendly/ polite always helps but so long as your academic needs are being met - that's all that really matters! Maybe he's just picked up on the fact that you're a little shy. However, I rarely engage in jokey/ small talk with professors because we're always in a large group setting or focussing on work. I think that this is a pretty normal dynamic at university as you have so little face to face time.
In sum, so long as you are happy with your academic progress, I don't think that there is much to worry about.
I hope this helps!
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Original post by Baby.45178
There's a teacher in my university... who is good in teaching....also he is few years older than us...he talks to every girl in class but me...he looks to everyone in class but me...also he's so energetic while teaching and kinda playful and speaks frankly to everyone...one day my friend and me was standing in hallway and he came and looked at both of us...but talked only to her....in very friendly manner...he was looking at me but didn't talked anything....i felt like leaving....but I didn't...why he's ignoring me like this...I never missed any of his lectures...also I'm good at studies....still why he's behaving like this?
@Baby.45178
As @Lilyanne2 said, I too hear the bells!
He is only a few years older, he has a lot of charisma, he maybe sometimes be too friendly (which sounds like it could border on being flirtatious) and is more chatty with certain females. Unlike secondary school when it would unacceptable for their to be anything bordering on romantic between a teacher and a student, at university it is not the same. He may be afraid of giving any wrong idea or he may be very conscious about being drawn towards certain people. Who knows, but I think it may be best to focus on your studies and leave him be.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Surprised you're all taking this seriously
Original post by University of Huddersfield
@Baby.45178
As @Lilyanne2 said, I too hear the bells!
He is only a few years older, he has a lot of charisma, he maybe sometimes be too friendly (which sounds like it could border on being flirtatious) and is more chatty with certain females. Unlike secondary school when it would unacceptable for their to be anything bordering on romantic between a teacher and a student, at university it is not the same. He may be afraid of giving any wrong idea or he may be very conscious about being drawn towards certain people. Who knows, but I think it may be best to focus on your studies and leave him be.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
As @Lilyanne2 said, I too hear the bells!
He is only a few years older, he has a lot of charisma, he maybe sometimes be too friendly (which sounds like it could border on being flirtatious) and is more chatty with certain females. Unlike secondary school when it would unacceptable for their to be anything bordering on romantic between a teacher and a student, at university it is not the same. He may be afraid of giving any wrong idea or he may be very conscious about being drawn towards certain people. Who knows, but I think it may be best to focus on your studies and leave him be.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Used to be true, has not been true for the past 5 years or so. Most institutions now have rules in place about this which make it hard to cross boundaries and keep your job (and about time, too!).
I am with Strider here - a clear troll thread.
Original post by gjd800
I am with Strider here - a clear troll thread.
I am with Strider here - a clear troll thread.
I know, I wouldn't give you tuppence for any of these 'Official Reps'
Original post by StriderHort
I know, I wouldn't give you tuppence for any of these 'Official Reps'
I think they have a quota to meet, so any port in a storm ......
Original post by gjd800
Used to be true, has not been true for the past 5 years or so. Most institutions now have rules in place about this which make it hard to cross boundaries and keep your job (and about time, too!).
I am with Strider here - a clear troll thread.
I am with Strider here - a clear troll thread.
@gjd800
I am happy to be wrong about this – boundaries are definitely needed.
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
The alarm bells I'm hearing are not from the lecturer but from the OP who sounds ever so slightly enamoured by the teacher and wants his attention. If he is answering your questions in class and putting your doubts at rest, what other contact do you want from him and why? because you seem to want him to play/flirt with you and for some reason he's not doing this which is actually a good thing but causing you upset.
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