Lonely at uni

Hi I’m a first year student who’s not from Manchester and I spend a lot of my time alone, i haven’t made any friends who live at halls as the ones I’ve made live at home so I don’t get the chance to hang out with them. I low-key just wanna make friends who I can go to the library with/ study with and share similar interests with. And do late night activities like go on walks or something.

Reply 1

japansmoonx

4

Original post by Kehisiga

Hi I’m a first year student who’s not from Manchester and I spend a lot of my time alone, i haven’t made any friends who live at halls as the ones I’ve made live at home so I don’t get the chance to hang out with them. I low-key just wanna make friends who I can go to the library with/ study with and share similar interests with. And do late night activities like go on walks or something.

you should try talking to some of the students doing the same course as you or people in the library. it can be scary but try to start a conversation with someone by introducing yourself. you’ll either become close friends or you won’t, that’s all :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kehisiga

Hi I’m a first year student who’s not from Manchester and I spend a lot of my time alone, i haven’t made any friends who live at halls as the ones I’ve made live at home so I don’t get the chance to hang out with them. I low-key just wanna make friends who I can go to the library with/ study with and share similar interests with. And do late night activities like go on walks or something.

Hi Kehisiga,

I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. It can be such a big adjustment to move away and feel like it’s not living up to your expectations. But you still have plenty of time!

I would agree with the other comment to try getting involved with a conversation between classmates on your course! At the start of a lecture sit next to someone and just say hi, a conversation will often very easily flow from this if you take the leap to ask some questions- I know it can be scary but it’s 1 minute of awkwardness and then it’s over, most people will be happy someone has made the effort! Societies are also a really great way to make new friends, and have a look what social events are going on at the uni (including any societies you could be interested in). I think with societies you can just email and ask to come along!

I hope this helps and please reach out to the university if you feel you’re still struggling as they will probably provide you with lots of resources to help! :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Kehisiga

Hi I’m a first year student who’s not from Manchester and I spend a lot of my time alone, i haven’t made any friends who live at halls as the ones I’ve made live at home so I don’t get the chance to hang out with them. I low-key just wanna make friends who I can go to the library with/ study with and share similar interests with. And do late night activities like go on walks or something.

As someone also at university and struggling with loneliness, I can understand the helplessness you certainly will be feeling. It always confuses me when people, like those others on this thread, advise you to simply do what I can only describe to be the most off putting thing you can possibly do to another human being: that is, to start an unwarranted conversation with them in an unsuitable context like the LIBRARY of all places. What kind of terrible American advise is that!? I would say you (and I, by extension) would have better chances trying that sort of thing at a society or nightclub, but the problem is not so simple: what if you have anxiety or depression? Autism? ADD? In other words, you might not even have the energy to get out of bed. People scarcely consider these factors. I suppose my advice to you, as a fellow lonely person at the moment, would be to avoid blaming yourself as much as possible. Specifically, I would want you to not clinicalise (if that's a word) your loneliness: that is to say you shouldn't treat it like something to be medicated and then briskly thrown over the shoulder. Once you recognise loneliness as being an intrinsic characteristic of the thinking, feeling human you may find yourself possessing more sympathy and understanding for yourself. Other than that, chatting to other loners online helps, and if you can pair this with another activity (I'm thinking video games) for maximum good times then I'd say you’re doing just fine. If you find it consuming you, stopping you from literally leaving your room: then you must reach out to others to save yourself. Never be ashamed. Loving oneself is hard but loving one's condition, I think, and separating it from oneself, is even harder. You may be alone in body but in soul there are others around you with the same kind of sentiment. It's university in Manchester, after all: a very big, intimidating city (for me, anyhow).

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Kehisiga

Hi I’m a first year student who’s not from Manchester and I spend a lot of my time alone, i haven’t made any friends who live at halls as the ones I’ve made live at home so I don’t get the chance to hang out with them. I low-key just wanna make friends who I can go to the library with/ study with and share similar interests with. And do late night activities like go on walks or something.

Hi there, im a first year at mmu and am also struggling with not really having friends. i dont really get on with my flatmates and am spending significant amounts of time alone

Reply 5

Kehisiga

OP

9

Original post by Anonymous

Hi there, im a first year at mmu and am also struggling with not really having friends. i dont really get on with my flatmates and am spending significant amounts of time alone

Hi I go UOM, would you wanna hang out?

Reply 6

Kehisiga

OP

9

Original post by Anonymous

As someone also at university and struggling with loneliness, I can understand the helplessness you certainly will be feeling. It always confuses me when people, like those others on this thread, advise you to simply do what I can only describe to be the most off putting thing you can possibly do to another human being: that is, to start an unwarranted conversation with them in an unsuitable context like the LIBRARY of all places. What kind of terrible American advise is that!? I would say you (and I, by extension) would have better chances trying that sort of thing at a society or nightclub, but the problem is not so simple: what if you have anxiety or depression? Autism? ADD? In other words, you might not even have the energy to get out of bed. People scarcely consider these factors. I suppose my advice to you, as a fellow lonely person at the moment, would be to avoid blaming yourself as much as possible. Specifically, I would want you to not clinicalise (if that's a word) your loneliness: that is to say you shouldn't treat it like something to be medicated and then briskly thrown over the shoulder. Once you recognise loneliness as being an intrinsic characteristic of the thinking, feeling human you may find yourself possessing more sympathy and understanding for yourself. Other than that, chatting to other loners online helps, and if you can pair this with another activity (I'm thinking video games) for maximum good times then I'd say you’re doing just fine. If you find it consuming you, stopping you from literally leaving your room: then you must reach out to others to save yourself. Never be ashamed. Loving oneself is hard but loving one's condition, I think, and separating it from oneself, is even harder. You may be alone in body but in soul there are others around you with the same kind of sentiment. It's university in Manchester, after all: a very big, intimidating city (for me, anyhow).

To be honest, I made this thread in hope to meet other lonely students in the same predicament as me who wanted to hang out. I don’t really find it hard talking to new people it’s more difficult for me to maintain the relationship and click. Plus a lot of university students have similar interests like clubbing which really isn’t in my best interest.