Uni

Hey I started uni almost 2 months ago now started off in one accomodation and moved to another about a month after because it was awful and too fa away I kinda thought it would be a restart at uni and I feel as though it was for the first couple of weeks I went out with my flatmates and the friends they’d made and had a great time I also met a nice group of people on my course but nobody really likes to do anything outside of uni or other than nights out so I get really lonely the girl in my flat that I get along with has a little group of 4 that she meets up with and is getting a house with this year I’ve met all of them and get on with them but she never really invites me out with them i always feel like an outsider it would just be nice if she included me. I don’t hate uni but I find it really lonely and boring lately I’ve been getting anxiety from it and I’m struggling to think I’ll be able to make it through 3 years lots of my other friends that have moved to bigger cities have made best friends with their flatmates and they love living away I go home often coz I’m bored im not homesick I like actually living away from home but I enjoy being able to do things back home does it get easier or do I consider dropping out
Thank you 😃

Hi @miawez123,

So sorry to hear you're struggling a little, but it's totally understandable - university is a big change!

Can you perhaps look elsewhere for people to connect with? Maybe people on your course will have things in common with you and will be up for doing things other than going out, so try chatting to them.

Alternatively, are there any clubs or societies you could join? These definitely help students to make friends in wider circles and will also give you something to do to keep you busy!

Remember, everyone is in the same boat, and there will be other students who feel the same and will appreciate you reaching out.

All the best😊
Mara

Original post by miawez123

Hey I started uni almost 2 months ago now started off in one accomodation and moved to another about a month after because it was awful and too fa away I kinda thought it would be a restart at uni and I feel as though it was for the first couple of weeks I went out with my flatmates and the friends they’d made and had a great time I also met a nice group of people on my course but nobody really likes to do anything outside of uni or other than nights out so I get really lonely the girl in my flat that I get along with has a little group of 4 that she meets up with and is getting a house with this year I’ve met all of them and get on with them but she never really invites me out with them i always feel like an outsider it would just be nice if she included me. I don’t hate uni but I find it really lonely and boring lately I’ve been getting anxiety from it and I’m struggling to think I’ll be able to make it through 3 years lots of my other friends that have moved to bigger cities have made best friends with their flatmates and they love living away I go home often coz I’m bored im not homesick I like actually living away from home but I enjoy being able to do things back home does it get easier or do I consider dropping out
Thank you 😃

Hey,

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I definitely had similar feelings in the first year so can relate to how you feel. I'd say give it some time, as things may definitely get better! I know its a shame that you feel a bit excluded, but you could always try get closer with her or even ask if you could come to certain things to try and get closer with them!

I always found I felt completely fine until I shut myself away at night, so even if you're not going out, maybe try and ask one/some of your flatmates to spend a bit of time with you in the evening. That could literally just be chilling and watching films or even just being in the same room and doing your own thing. I found those little things helped me and my flatmates bond massively and curbed some of the feelings of loneliness. Hopefully, if you were to reach out to others, they would be understanding of your situation and maybe offer to spend some time with you like this. I'd also say spending maximum time in the communal areas of your flat like the kitchen. Then by the time you do go off to your room and you're alone, maybe you'd feel a bit better.

It sounds cliche but the other thing I found which helped was learning to enjoy my own company. I used to take myself on a little morning walk to the shop/just around and then would come back and have breakfast. Or in the evening, I set some time aside to watch a show I've been wanting to watch (or something like that) and change my perspective to see it more as enjoying my alone time rather than feeling lonely. I know it's not as simple as that, but those little changes over time and trying to think more positively about my feelings of loneliness really helped shift my attitude. It's definitely a long journey to get comfortable living alone but I hope you'll feel better about it all soon.

I hope this helped a little bit!

Natalie
University of Kent Student Rep (2nd year PhD Psychology)

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Original post by miawez123

Hey I started uni almost 2 months ago now started off in one accomodation and moved to another about a month after because it was awful and too fa away I kinda thought it would be a restart at uni and I feel as though it was for the first couple of weeks I went out with my flatmates and the friends they’d made and had a great time I also met a nice group of people on my course but nobody really likes to do anything outside of uni or other than nights out so I get really lonely the girl in my flat that I get along with has a little group of 4 that she meets up with and is getting a house with this year I’ve met all of them and get on with them but she never really invites me out with them i always feel like an outsider it would just be nice if she included me. I don’t hate uni but I find it really lonely and boring lately I’ve been getting anxiety from it and I’m struggling to think I’ll be able to make it through 3 years lots of my other friends that have moved to bigger cities have made best friends with their flatmates and they love living away I go home often coz I’m bored im not homesick I like actually living away from home but I enjoy being able to do things back home does it get easier or do I consider dropping out
Thank you 😃

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this but it's completely normal to feel lonely especially when you start university.

I echo what some of the others have said here in the thread and would recommend you try to do things in the evening with your flatmates even something as simple as sitting in the kitchen playing card games or watching a movie as I found this really helped my flatmates and I become comfortable in each others company.

Joining some societies will also help you get to know others and with social gatherings within the societies, it'll give you something to look forward to during the week, hopefully in something you are interested in.

I hope this helps and I want to let you know that this feeling does pass once you get to know people better both in your flat and on your course.

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd-year Children's Nursing)

(edited 1 year ago)

Uni

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