Should I cut her off?
Recently me and my best friend got into a huge argument. I realise I’m clingy and love her a lot and maybe i expect too much from her. When I comes to reply times I’m nit overly fussed on them but when she’s angry with me she gives me long replies or blunt ones. If we have an argument the day before the next day she’ll take ages to reply to me. I love to sort stuff straight away and I don’t want o leave things hanging for too long she knows this but in the past has left me in the dark for a month hanging with no explanation. She always reassures me when she opens my message and cannot reply she’ll say she “I’ll reply in a sec” or she’ll say sorry for long replies even if it’s like an hour which I don’t care about as I know there is no bad energy between us.
we’ve been arguing for the past 2 weeks now over some things I’ve said to her. She is now in a nee relationship and this has also stirred up some things. I am very insured that I am losing my bestrijdend snd I voiced that to her but it seemed as though she understood that and reassured me that wont happen. But now I think she’s spoken to other ppl about our conversation and changed her mind she said I’m unsupportive of her. I’ve asked to meet she’s given me 18hr+ replies and she’s she doesn’t want to meet me and she doesn’t want to tell me anything to do with her life. She said she wants space and I’ve given her that. I’ve messaged her today to ask to meet as Ive respected her bonfires of wanting space but I feel like she hasn’t listened to me and what I want. She said its fine to meet but she’s busy next weekend. We haven’t seen eachother since 3rd November and was meant to go out next Saturday but she’s made other plans. She’s probably going to meet her new boyfriend and I’m annoyed because we had plans and even though we’re arguing you’ve put him before me who is supposed to be your best friend. She’s told me to wait 2 weeks to speak and sort things out and that’s only happened due to me messaging.
Maybe I’m over exaggerating but she hasn’t been there for me at all. I told her I’m at my lowest and she’s brushed it off and hasn’t spoken to me. I was there for her when she felt bad but she wasn’t for me now I’m stuck between even wanting to be friends again to fill a void Ive lost or not speak again as she’s hurt me soo much. I’m wondering if my attachment style is causing me to act the way I do and how I can change!
we’ve been arguing for the past 2 weeks now over some things I’ve said to her. She is now in a nee relationship and this has also stirred up some things. I am very insured that I am losing my bestrijdend snd I voiced that to her but it seemed as though she understood that and reassured me that wont happen. But now I think she’s spoken to other ppl about our conversation and changed her mind she said I’m unsupportive of her. I’ve asked to meet she’s given me 18hr+ replies and she’s she doesn’t want to meet me and she doesn’t want to tell me anything to do with her life. She said she wants space and I’ve given her that. I’ve messaged her today to ask to meet as Ive respected her bonfires of wanting space but I feel like she hasn’t listened to me and what I want. She said its fine to meet but she’s busy next weekend. We haven’t seen eachother since 3rd November and was meant to go out next Saturday but she’s made other plans. She’s probably going to meet her new boyfriend and I’m annoyed because we had plans and even though we’re arguing you’ve put him before me who is supposed to be your best friend. She’s told me to wait 2 weeks to speak and sort things out and that’s only happened due to me messaging.
Maybe I’m over exaggerating but she hasn’t been there for me at all. I told her I’m at my lowest and she’s brushed it off and hasn’t spoken to me. I was there for her when she felt bad but she wasn’t for me now I’m stuck between even wanting to be friends again to fill a void Ive lost or not speak again as she’s hurt me soo much. I’m wondering if my attachment style is causing me to act the way I do and how I can change!
Don't cut her off, everyone has their reasons. Why not just call and speak directly about how you're feeling.
You don't always need to meet and catchup so often if you're really good friends with someone. Understand that each other have their own lives.
Maybe as you say if your attachment style that makes you feel like that, so perhaps it can't be helped, but at the same time, we are all moving towards our happiness, whether it be in our careers or in our relationships. Wouldn't you like for your friend to be happy and find someone that she really loves instead of making her feel guilty and only thinking about yourself.
You don't always need to meet and catchup so often if you're really good friends with someone. Understand that each other have their own lives.
Maybe as you say if your attachment style that makes you feel like that, so perhaps it can't be helped, but at the same time, we are all moving towards our happiness, whether it be in our careers or in our relationships. Wouldn't you like for your friend to be happy and find someone that she really loves instead of making her feel guilty and only thinking about yourself.
Original post by Anonymous #2
Don't cut her off, everyone has their reasons. Why not just call and speak directly about how you're feeling.
You don't always need to meet and catchup so often if you're really good friends with someone. Understand that each other have their own lives.
Maybe as you say if your attachment style that makes you feel like that, so perhaps it can't be helped, but at the same time, we are all moving towards our happiness, whether it be in our careers or in our relationships. Wouldn't you like for your friend to be happy and find someone that she really loves instead of making her feel guilty and only thinking about yourself.
You don't always need to meet and catchup so often if you're really good friends with someone. Understand that each other have their own lives.
Maybe as you say if your attachment style that makes you feel like that, so perhaps it can't be helped, but at the same time, we are all moving towards our happiness, whether it be in our careers or in our relationships. Wouldn't you like for your friend to be happy and find someone that she really loves instead of making her feel guilty and only thinking about yourself.
Thank you for replying!!
My main reason for wanting to cut her off is that she knew I was at my lowest and never checked in on me once I felt soo down but she was hanging out jerk her new boyfriend and friends the whole time knowing this. I couldn’t leave my house.
We are going to meet to talk sometime this week do you think this is a good idea or not should I tell her how I’m feeling wholeheartedly
Original post by Anonymous #1
Thank you for replying!!
My main reason for wanting to cut her off is that she knew I was at my lowest and never checked in on me once I felt soo down but she was hanging out jerk her new boyfriend and friends the whole time knowing this. I couldn’t leave my house.
We are going to meet to talk sometime this week do you think this is a good idea or not should I tell her how I’m feeling wholeheartedly
My main reason for wanting to cut her off is that she knew I was at my lowest and never checked in on me once I felt soo down but she was hanging out jerk her new boyfriend and friends the whole time knowing this. I couldn’t leave my house.
We are going to meet to talk sometime this week do you think this is a good idea or not should I tell her how I’m feeling wholeheartedly
Oh I'm really sorry to hear that. In that case, if she really did know that you were having a hard time and struggling with an issue, she should have been there for you instead of spending time with her boyfriend and other friends. Then, I can see why you feel this way. I think if she really valued and cared for you, she should have been there during your time of difficulty but she wasn't and seems like she couldn't be bothered.
I would say instead of just cutting her off right now, it might be better to talk through your feelings to her so she understands the reason why you feel that way. If after meeting her and talking it through and she seems sincerely apologetic about it and tries to make time for you afterwards then I think you can consider to remain friends with her. However, if nothing changes, then yes just go ahead and cut her off- your mental health and happiness should be the most important thing for yourself
Original post by Anonymous #2
Oh I'm really sorry to hear that. In that case, if she really did know that you were having a hard time and struggling with an issue, she should have been there for you instead of spending time with her boyfriend and other friends. Then, I can see why you feel this way. I think if she really valued and cared for you, she should have been there during your time of difficulty but she wasn't and seems like she couldn't be bothered.
I would say instead of just cutting her off right now, it might be better to talk through your feelings to her so she understands the reason why you feel that way. If after meeting her and talking it through and she seems sincerely apologetic about it and tries to make time for you afterwards then I think you can consider to remain friends with her. However, if nothing changes, then yes just go ahead and cut her off- your mental health and happiness should be the most important thing for yourself
I would say instead of just cutting her off right now, it might be better to talk through your feelings to her so she understands the reason why you feel that way. If after meeting her and talking it through and she seems sincerely apologetic about it and tries to make time for you afterwards then I think you can consider to remain friends with her. However, if nothing changes, then yes just go ahead and cut her off- your mental health and happiness should be the most important thing for yourself
Thank you I really needed to hear this!
Hoping to express all my concerns and hopes she listens. However I think her being in love has clouded her brain and she thinks I’m against her and not happy she’s happy which I am. I don’t want to hold her back at all.
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