I cant tell if I am friend zoned or if she just needs time.

28 M. I've known this girl I like for over 15 years. She just ended a long term relationship as of 6 months or so ago. I never had feelings for her until about a month left in her last relationship. When they had finally broken up, conversations between us had escalated. We talked every single day and allll day. She hooked up with someone not too long after breaking up with her ex and I had been pretty down about it. She could tell I was upset so I just told her how I felt. She basically said she sorta has feelings for me as well but now is not a good time since she had just ended a long term relationship. Things have been rocky for months between us for many reasons but recently just started talking to her as often as we used to. She tells me everything!!!! She doesn't ask me to hang out alone but I feel like it might be because she doesn't want me to get the wrong idea quite yet. What should I do? I love talking to her but at the same time I feel like I should cut things off if she doesn't feel the same way. Am I a bad friend if I say that I want to talk less? Am I wasting my time? Should I be upfront with her? Help.

Reply 1

Zarek

Well she hasn’t outright rejected you so you could take what she’s said at face value. This said you don’t seem to be a particular priority and it’s feels quite likely things won’t work out how you hope. I would distance yourself a bit more, without any melodrama of telling her and leave the ball in her court.

Divert yourself with some other interests and don’t rule out new love. In reality there is not only one adorable partner, there are many, and in hindsight these situations can lead to a lot of wasted angst