Why is he doing this to me?

Me and my ex were together for five years. We've been broken up for exactly a month. Recently he's moved on to another girl, and I cut off contact because I'm still needing to heal and focus on myself as one does when broken up. Its been a couple of days since I cut contact, and my friends spoke to him instead (we share mutual) lately he was opening their messages and not replying and when they had asked what was going on he claimed everyone made him feel suicidal especially suicidal because I had cut contact. So me being me I felt bad I wanted to check up on him and so I messaged he said life sucked without me, I explained how I'm not gone permanently but I just wanted to heal and process him moving on (which he did in a mere matter of days.

He said how he needed me as a friend and how I made him happy before stating nobody makes him happy (I'm guessing he meant no one else). The day before my friend also said that he explained to my ex that I'm no longer owned by him obviously explaining that you cannot own people and my Ex replied "why?.

Anyway so I'm thinking oh you know he's upset so I ask whats bothering him and he seems closed off having experience of dealing with his depression I tried to ask questions to narrow it down so I asked how the relationship was going with his new girl and replied with a simple fine I then said that that he didn't seem too confident. He said he hasn't seen her and that makes him sad I said that he should speak to her instead of me.

He said he was confused started changing up minor details about his new girl a few days ago she was 27 and now she's 28 to which he replied her birthday month is this month. I then spoke about how I needed to move on and I've started only recently talking to a guy and I claimed how this guy was vulnerable. Bad bad move because then my ex started saying "oh ofc you're moving on, you're gonna be pregnant i bet next week" and that sounded like jealousy when I confronted him he said he didn't care who I was with.

Having mentioned someone was vulnerable my ex then said how his new girl was vulnerable how she was on anti depressants was moving really fast and how she gets attached easily he then later on said she had been kidnapped. I asked how he felt and he said he felt confused and overwhelmed I said to maybe take a break so he can sort himself out but he said no and he didn't want to be replaced overnight. He also said that I can't like say I love him because his new girl would get rid of me and he didn't want to do that, I assured him ill just leave instead ro avoid that and he insisted no.

It hurts me all over again I really thought maybe he missed me or wanted me back considering him and this new girl have been talking for two weeks and only have seen each other twice. Ive repeatedly stressed that id adhere to his boundaries but that he needs to respect mine and he just made it worse by saying how he's gonna see her for three whole days when I repeatedly said I didn't want to know that information because I can't afford to have that impact me.

I know j should block bur its affecting me and I want to know what is he doing to me and why.

Reply 1

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

Honestly, you just need to stop interacting with him.

He's emotionally immature, struggling with his MH, and is dragging you through his problems at a time when you should be concentrating on yourself and getting over the breakup.

It's nice that you'd like to help him, but it is no no way helping you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Admit-One

I'm just so hurt I've stopped he hasn't replied for over an hour, I said I'm logging off social media, I wasn't ready to hear,

I feel so stupid I thought him saying life sucks without me even to he said just as a friend and the jealousy and everything was him trying to get me back. He said he's confused and I said to him he can't have two women he then claimed he doesn't and that I'm just a friend I just feel even worse when I have been making such an effort to journal and move on.

I wanted to help him thinking he'd understand I didn't mind telling him to listen to his heart whatever it meant and he said he did and he saw her "duh" apparently and I said well if thats the case you don't need me and he said "ill suffer in silence" like surely take the advice I gave. He's going too fast and she's going too fast its been a week and he told me I didn't ask and I think he told me this in purpose but apparently her family want to meet him.

Why can't he just talk to her why does my day have to be ruined.

I can't wrap my head around the why I've asked and he just was going round and round with me Confused then certain then confused, I told him I loved him because I wanted him to be aware of my feelings but he was like "you can't say that" because apparently she whoever she is will get rid of me.