Scared to use a vibrator, any tips?

So I'm in my early 30's and a virgin, no experience with men whatsoever, never even kissed anyone. Been waiting to get married to have sex as I'm not interested in sleeping around, only want to sleep/do anything with one person my whole life but that's never going to happen at this point, never met anyone, doubt I ever will and also I don't want my first time to be really painful and uncomfortable in front of someone, besides I have to be realistic, no man around my age is going to be a virgin so why do i need to wait for someone who I'll never meet so I thought I'd get a vibrator (I know a vibrator won't take away my virginity but you know what I mean) it arrived today. It's one of those butterfly ones that you put in your underwear to keep in place, like a small dildo at the bottom and at the top there's a suction gap idk how to explain it. Planning on using it tomorrow without the vibration but I'm scared like it's a really small vibrator but I'm really petite so it might be really painful and what if my hymen breaks with it and it's so painful and there's loads of blood. Like I googled it and apparently you can get a few drops of blood or you bleed lightly for a few days like wth? With my luck I'll probably bleed for days if that's true or what if I'm one of those females who has that condition where their vagina is really narrow and you can't have sex or use a vibrator, you have to get it checked by a doctor and have therapy to widen the area 😩 or what if I get toxic shock syndrome and die? Also worried that I'll probably meet someone good after using the vibrator and get married but then end up regretting using the vibrator once I've had sex with my husband and wish I hadn't used the vibrator lol

Anyone else used a vibrator while being a virgin? any tips because I'm so scared and anxious but really want to use it be ause at this point I'll be waiting my whole life for someone I'm never going to meet 😭

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

lot to unpack in this sorry if its not in order

1.

‘no 30 yo male virgins’ this is definitely not true, i know it feels like it but there is plenty of men who either practice celibacy or choose not to have it - don’t feel ashamed, instead think of it as an achievement, you dont need sex to function

2.

the vaginal condition - my mind has completely blanked so i’ve forgotten the actual medical term but if you can use tampons with ease theres no need to be concerned

3.

breaking your hymen - you might have broken your hymen without even realising it, it’s honestly such a thin piece of flesh, as taboo as people make it out to be, look for urself, its your body so you shouldnt feel ashamed (speaking from experience fyi) and if you are still worried try setting up an appt with a gyno

4.

no you will not get tss, it is a myth that keeping a tampon in will guarantee u get tss (from the research ive done, bc again i was in the dame position) you’d honestly have to keep the tampon/phallic object for DAYS and MONTHS to get it

5.

if you can manage the pain that comes from ur menstrual cycle you can most certainly handle a little tear/blood from ur hymen, women are honestly born with pain wired into them, theres no escaping lol its just something u should overcome

6.

regretting using the vibrator - honestly i always think about this, but female orgasms itself is such a vast thing, search it up if you have time i think there was over 5 female orgasms. the orgasm u get from a vibrator wont be the same you get from penetration, a lot of women cant orgasm alone from penetration so they actually use vibrators during sex.. so dont see it as a downside

Reply 2

ROTL 94

13

**** me. Gone for 6 months or whatever and come back and the posts are exactly the same. 😴

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by Anonymous #2

lot to unpack in this sorry if its not in order

1.

‘no 30 yo male virgins’ this is definitely not true, i know it feels like it but there is plenty of men who either practice celibacy or choose not to have it - don’t feel ashamed, instead think of it as an achievement, you dont need sex to function

2.

the vaginal condition - my mind has completely blanked so i’ve forgotten the actual medical term but if you can use tampons with ease theres no need to be concerned

3.

breaking your hymen - you might have broken your hymen without even realising it, it’s honestly such a thin piece of flesh, as taboo as people make it out to be, look for urself, its your body so you shouldnt feel ashamed (speaking from experience fyi) and if you are still worried try setting up an appt with a gyno

4.

no you will not get tss, it is a myth that keeping a tampon in will guarantee u get tss (from the research ive done, bc again i was in the dame position) you’d honestly have to keep the tampon/phallic object for DAYS and MONTHS to get it

5.

if you can manage the pain that comes from ur menstrual cycle you can most certainly handle a little tear/blood from ur hymen, women are honestly born with pain wired into them, theres no escaping lol its just something u should overcome

6.

regretting using the vibrator - honestly i always think about this, but female orgasms itself is such a vast thing, search it up if you have time i think there was over 5 female orgasms. the orgasm u get from a vibrator wont be the same you get from penetration, a lot of women cant orgasm alone from penetration so they actually use vibrators during sex.. so dont see it as a downside

Thanks that was useful, I've never met any 30 year old virgins I haven't even anyone my own age since college so wouldn't know if there are any virgin men around my age, all the younger guys are always bragging about their body counts like it's something to be proud of like they've put their d in so many girls v which I think is disgusting. I've never used tampons and don't plan on ever using them so think I'll be ok, yeah my period cramps are very painful I probably could handle the pain of losing my v, I just overthink everything and am too scared to do it, don't know how its going to happen if I meet someone by some miracle. I didn't even end up putting it in the vibrator I couldn't even find a gap in my v entrance to even see if my hymen is still there. Used a mirror and tried putting it in but it wasn't going in, I couldn't see/feel a gap to go in whatsoever like wth when I have seen a gap in the past, now I'm worried if I do meet someone and marry then the person won't even be able to go in either 😩

Reply 4

ageshallnot

21

Original post

by Anonymous #1

Thanks that was useful, I've never met any 30 year old virgins I haven't even anyone my own age since college so wouldn't know if there are any virgin men around my age, all the younger guys are always bragging about their body counts like it's something to be proud of like they've put their d in so many girls v which I think is disgusting. I've never used tampons and don't plan on ever using them so think I'll be ok, yeah my period cramps are very painful I probably could handle the pain of losing my v, I just overthink everything and am too scared to do it, don't know how its going to happen if I meet someone by some miracle. I didn't even end up putting it in the vibrator I couldn't even find a gap in my v entrance to even see if my hymen is still there. Used a mirror and tried putting it in but it wasn't going in, I couldn't see/feel a gap to go in whatsoever like wth when I have seen a gap in the past, now I'm worried if I do meet someone and marry then the person won't even be able to go in either 😩

Vibrators often work better on the clitoris rather than in the vagina.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Anonymous #1

So I'm in my early 30's and a virgin, no experience with men whatsoever, never even kissed anyone. Been waiting to get married to have sex as I'm not interested in sleeping around, only want to sleep/do anything with one person my whole life but that's never going to happen at this point, never met anyone, doubt I ever will and also I don't want my first time to be really painful and uncomfortable in front of someone, besides I have to be realistic, no man around my age is going to be a virgin so why do i need to wait for someone who I'll never meet so I thought I'd get a vibrator (I know a vibrator won't take away my virginity but you know what I mean) it arrived today. It's one of those butterfly ones that you put in your underwear to keep in place, like a small dildo at the bottom and at the top there's a suction gap idk how to explain it. Planning on using it tomorrow without the vibration but I'm scared like it's a really small vibrator but I'm really petite so it might be really painful and what if my hymen breaks with it and it's so painful and there's loads of blood. Like I googled it and apparently you can get a few drops of blood or you bleed lightly for a few days like wth? With my luck I'll probably bleed for days if that's true or what if I'm one of those females who has that condition where their vagina is really narrow and you can't have sex or use a vibrator, you have to get it checked by a doctor and have therapy to widen the area 😩 or what if I get toxic shock syndrome and die? Also worried that I'll probably meet someone good after using the vibrator and get married but then end up regretting using the vibrator once I've had sex with my husband and wish I hadn't used the vibrator lol

Anyone else used a vibrator while being a virgin? any tips because I'm so scared and anxious but really want to use it be ause at this point I'll be waiting my whole life for someone I'm never going to meet 😭

I think if you still feel that keeping virgin is an extremely loyal feeling, you'd better think carefully about whether to use a penetrating vibrator. You can use bullet vibrator or rabbit vibrator to stimulate the clitoris and get clit orgasm at first. Once you become proficient in using and need higher requirements such as penetrative orgasm, you can then consider using G-spot vibrator or some dildo vibrator. I have bought several vibrators from lovebirdvibe .com with good value for money so highly recommend.

Reply 6

WilfredTC

9

Original post

by Anonymous #1

So I'm in my early 30's and a virgin, no experience with men whatsoever, never even kissed anyone. Been waiting to get married to have sex as I'm not interested in sleeping around, only want to sleep/do anything with one person my whole life but that's never going to happen at this point, never met anyone, doubt I ever will and also I don't want my first time to be really painful and uncomfortable in front of someone, besides I have to be realistic, no man around my age is going to be a virgin so why do i need to wait for someone who I'll never meet so I thought I'd get a vibrator (I know a vibrator won't take away my virginity but you know what I mean) it arrived today. It's one of those butterfly ones that you put in your underwear to keep in place, like a small dildo at the bottom and at the top there's a suction gap idk how to explain it. Planning on using it tomorrow without the vibration but I'm scared like it's a really small vibrator but I'm really petite so it might be really painful and what if my hymen breaks with it and it's so painful and there's loads of blood. Like I googled it and apparently you can get a few drops of blood or you bleed lightly for a few days like wth? With my luck I'll probably bleed for days if that's true or what if I'm one of those females who has that condition where their vagina is really narrow and you can't have sex or use a vibrator, you have to get it checked by a doctor and have therapy to widen the area 😩 or what if I get toxic shock syndrome and die? Also worried that I'll probably meet someone good after using the vibrator and get married but then end up regretting using the vibrator once I've had sex with my husband and wish I hadn't used the vibrator lol

Anyone else used a vibrator while being a virgin? any tips because I'm so scared and anxious but really want to use it be ause at this point I'll be waiting my whole life for someone I'm never going to meet 😭

Don't! Self-discipline is needed. We all struggle but I know you don't have to do weird stuff like that! All the best :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Update: 2 years later, now in my mid thirties, I'm still in the same position, still a single virgin. I've still not been able to get the vibrator in me. It's hurts/is uncomfortable whenever I try, I don't know how to explain it, I can't even put the tip in it starts hurting. I still can't even find my v hole so probably why it's not feeling right. I thought I might try dilators to slowly stretch it and then try again with the vibrator as you start with the smallest and go up the sizes slowly but I'm scared to do that feel like that won't work either and feel like the smallest thinnest 1 will be painful. I don't know how other women just have sex with no preparation, surely it must hurt the first time but I don't want to go through that.

It's so embarrassing and there's no one I can ask irl, my younger sibling who is 8 years younger got married a while back so they're no longer a virgin and I feel like although my other younger sibling who is single and unmarried too isn't a virgin it's just me. I feel like it'll never happen now

Reply 8

ageshallnot

21

Original post

by Anonymous

Update: 2 years later, now in my mid thirties, I'm still in the same position, still a single virgin. I've still not been able to get the vibrator in me. It's hurts/is uncomfortable whenever I try, I don't know how to explain it, I can't even put the tip in it starts hurting. I still can't even find my v hole so probably why it's not feeling right. I thought I might try dilators to slowly stretch it and then try again with the vibrator as you start with the smallest and go up the sizes slowly but I'm scared to do that feel like that won't work either and feel like the smallest thinnest 1 will be painful. I don't know how other women just have sex with no preparation, surely it must hurt the first time but I don't want to go through that.
It's so embarrassing and there's no one I can ask irl, my younger sibling who is 8 years younger got married a while back so they're no longer a virgin and I feel like although my other younger sibling who is single and unmarried too isn't a virgin it's just me. I feel like it'll never happen now

Have you examined yourself down there?

If you have periods then you must have an opening.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by ageshallnot

Have you examined yourself down there?
If you have periods then you must have an opening.

Yes, there is no opening to be seen

Reply 10

ageshallnot

21

Original post

by Anonymous

Yes, there is no opening to be seen

Perhaps it's time to see a doctor about this issue?

Reply 11

ageshallnot

21

Original post

by Anonymous

Yes, there is no opening to be seen

A hymen can be removed by relatively simple surgery, as I understand it.

Scared to use a vibrator, any tips?

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