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feeling alone at exeter uni

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Reply 1

SilverPebble

Very normal, and also very not true. It is an absolute statistical certainty that there are people around you at uni who share your interests, you just have to find them. What are you doing to find them? That is the question.

Reply 2

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Anon,

Try not to assume the worse – it's been one term! You still have the opportunity to get to know new people and to make friends who share your interests in the New Year. Have you joined any societies?

Uni can be quite isolating when you are more independent and when you are away from family, but it tends to make people more open to forming friendships, as most people are in the same situation.

You might think that you haven't made any proper friends, but who knows if you will become closer to some of the people you have got to know so far.

Friendship takes time and it's not always easy to be open with new people to provide the opportunity for them to find out about interests, personality, character, but hopefully the more relaxed you feel at uni (and confident) the easier it will get!

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 3

CardiffUni Rep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear this but I want to assure you that it's surprisingly common! I've experienced this during most of the university but have found that only when I was comfortable in my own company, could I use my free time to be productive and relax, that I can be more positive and comfortable in making friends in a much more casual way and seeing what grows!

I hope that makes sense and it will get easier!

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep

Reply 4

University of Kent

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hi there

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling alone at University. There are many others in the same position as you, you are definitely not alone in this situation.

For myself, I also found it difficult to make friends in first year, and it was not until the end of first year and the start of second year that I started to meet friends.

What really helped me was going to societies and speaking to students from the same course. I found that we tended to have more in common to talk about. So try out different societies when terms starts again, keep at it and I am sure you will meet some lovely people.

If you ever feel lonely, there are always services on campus that you can access: for example student wellbeing and support sessions, these are really useful, and I highly recommend them. Furthermore, I think there are also events hosted by the student unions or support teams, you could have a look at these. Do also try to keep in touch with your family and friends from sixth form.

Good luck! :smile:

Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

Reply 5

Chester Student

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling alone at university, but just know that it is really common to feel this way!

Meaningful connections and friendships can take time to develop, so don't feel disheartened! It is only the first term, and there is still lots of time and many ways you can find people to connect with.

I'd first suggest joining a sport, society, or club (even just a taster session or two) as these will be people who already share a common interest with you. The same goes for the people on your course. Do you work part-time or volunteer? These are also great ways to meet people.

I hope this helps and best of luck,

Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student

Reply 6

ExeterStudentRep

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way! I can assure you that you are not alone - in fact, I would go as far as saying this is surprisingly common amongst first year students! Starting university is extremely daunting and can feel really isolating when you are away from friends and family. However, I would keep in mind it has only been one term - you still have the rest of the year to find people to connect with, so definitely don't give up!

Have you joined any societies? This might be a great way of finding like minded people with similar interests. If you don't feel comfortable with this, there are some other ways to get to know people - hang around after lectures, chat to the people you are sat next to, ask them to go for a coffee or a walk around campus. If you have any group projects in your modules - make the most of this opportunity and get to know them! I know this is easier said than done, but don't be afraid to put yourself out there!

Above all, try not to put any pressure on yourself! Personally, it wasn't until my second year that I began to form true friendships. Give it time - it will come!

I hope this has helped in some way! Please remember that you can always get in touch with the Wellbeing Team or your personal tutor if you feel this is beginning to affect your mental health in any way! Wishing you the best for term 2.

Kitty
University of Exeter Student Ambassador

Reply 7

cremated101

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hey I'm at exeter and first year as well, happy to chat if you want :smile:

Reply 8

UCLan Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous #1

(for reference i am in first year) i dont have any proper friends or people who share my interests and tbh i think ill be alone most of uni, is it normal to feel this way?

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry to read that you are feeling this way. Please know that it's not uncommon to be feeling like this, don't forget you haven't been at university that long. Don't put pressure on yourself as there is plenty of time and opportunities moving forward for you to make friends.

University is full of people with all sorts of interests so you are bound to meet those who you have something in common with. Have you thought about joining a society or club? I know that many universities have refresher events in January which you can go along to, many societies will have stalls set up where you can ask questions and get to know people.

Take your time, you got this 😊

All the best,
Sarah

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by cremated101

Hey I'm at exeter and first year as well, happy to chat if you want :smile:

is it ok if i dm you?

Reply 10

cremated101

Original post by Anonymous #1

is it ok if i dm you?

Sure no problem :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Hi! I went to Exeter myself. The first year is always seemingly the most isolating. You are around people but no one is your person if you know what I mean. Don’t worry it only get better. I found my group of girlfriends in my second year on a random night out. Four years later, although we have moved countries and jobs we are still very close. My advice is not to give up! Stay social and you will definitely run into your people