After all these years I know why I've been struggling with education.

Happy new year everyone.

Most of my friends didn't get a mobile phone till they were 15+. However, because I was a carer at the age of 10 my mother bought me a mobile phone to keep in contact, the phone was the "latest" smartphone back then.

Since I got my first phone my Mum bought me a data pack every month and this is around the time I started struggling with my education. I struggled with getting homework done, I struggled with concentrating and learning new things. I realised it's because I spent most of my time going on YouTube looking at stupid cat videos.

Because I'm 22 and I'm getting old I went to bed at 7:00 pm and woke up at 3:00 am. I'm on my last essay which is due in Friday and it's 2000 words. At 3:00 am I decided to try and get started with my essay without my phone being on.

I got started straight away and I completed 1000 words in less than 45 minutes. I spent 15 minutes just looking through my essay to make sure it made sense and ticked the marking criteria checklist to make sure I'm adding everything required.

I failed my GCSEs and didn't complete A-levels. The only reason I'm in uni is due to a Access to HE diploma, when I did essays in HE it took me two weeks to complete one essay and I never understood it. I was reflecting on the fact I did so well and I realised the only reason why I've been struggling is due to constantly being and wanting to be on my phone.

There's been times where I've started doing an essay and I say to myself I'll watch one video but it ends up being 30+ videos. I'm upset with not realising this sooner. I've realised I'm addicted to my phone and my phone is the reason why I didn't do great at school.

This is more of a rant.