The Student Room Group

43 year old friend is seeing an 18 year old, your opinion?

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here. I just want some input on this. I am a 26 year old guy, and friend with a 43 year old who I met through my dad. We been friends for 4 years now. And i know he has a kink for much younger people, but he just told me he is hooking up with an 18 year old he met. He said its just sex and they meeting up once a week.

I felt a bit uncomfortable when he told me that, but I think its their business in the end. I wonder how people would think if it got out though? What would be your opinion?
(edited 1 month ago)

Scroll to see replies

shrug consenting adults etc etc
Original post by Fadinga
Hi everyone,

This is my first post here. I just want some input on this. I am a 26 year old guy, and friend with a 43 year old who I met through my dad. We been friends for 4 years now. And i know he has a kink for much younger people, but he just told me he is hooking up with an 18 year old he met. He said its just sex and they meeting up once a week.

I felt a bit uncomfortable when he told me that, but I think its their business in the end. I wonder how people would think if it got out though? What would be your opinion?

Depends...

If it's just a hook up or a FB / FWB type arrangement, I don't think most people would really care (unless they're either:- a) jealous or b) her parents lol). Furthermore, if he's a good looking fortysomething, that would make a HUGE difference; compared to if he was a fat, sweaty, balding couch potato who hasn't seen his d**k with his own eyes since he was a teenager.

Conversely, if it was a relationship, then that would be different for a lot of people... many would speculate why he can't get someone closer to his own age, and draw their own conclusions about the nature of the relationship (see the typical / standard TSR response to age-gap relationships) .

If it's the latter scenario, personally, I would've given him the benefit of the doubt until / unless I found out that it was her age that fundamentally attracted him to her.
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 3
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Depends...

If it's just a hook up or a FB / FWB type arrangement, I don't think most people would really care (unless they're either:- a) jealous or b) her parents lol). Furthermore, if he's a good looking fortysomething, that would make a HUGE difference; compared to if he was a fat, sweaty, balding couch potato who hasn't seen his d**k with his own eyes since he was a teenager.

Conversely, if it was a relationship, then that would be different for a lot of people... many would speculate why he can't get someone closer to his own age, and draw their own conclusions about the nature of the relationship (see the typical / standard TSR response to age-gap relationships) .

If it's the latter scenario, personally, I would've given him the benefit of the doubt until / unless I found out that it was her age that fundamentally attracted him to her.
Yeah they are just meeting up for sex, so how would you see him? He is decently attractive.
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Fadinga
Yeah they are just meeting up for sex, so how would you see him? He is decently attractive.

As long as there's no shady tactics in him seducing her / them (e.g. not purposely targeting drunk girls; not getting them drunk / stoned; not deceiving them in any way; & there is a genuine mutual physical attraction etc.)... I'd just think fair play to the guy; maybe call him a lucky b*****d if I fancied the girl, myself :wink: .

Personally, (purely from my own perspective) ... as long as all of the above is compliant, it doesn't make any difference to me whether he's good looking or not. Nonetheless, it almost certainly will do to a lot of other people; both on this board and beyond (it could be because of so-called "Pretty Privilege" or because he's good looking, he'd (in theory) have no problems getting pretty much any woman he wanted).


At the end of the day, they're both 18+ so legally recognised as adults pretty much all over the world.
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 5
Original post by Old Skool Freak
As long as there's no shady tactics in him seducing her / them (e.g. not purposely targeting drunk girls; not getting them drunk / stoned; not deceiving them in any way; & there is a genuine mutual physical attraction etc.)... I'd just think fair play to the guy; maybe call him a lucky b*****d if I fancied the girl, myself :wink: .

Personally, (purely from my own perspective) ... as long as all of the above is compliant, it doesn't make any difference to me whether he's good looking or not. Nonetheless, it almost certainly will do to a lot of other people; both on this board and beyond (it could be because of so-called "Pretty Privilege" or because he's good looking, he'd (in theory) have no problems getting pretty much any woman he wanted).


At the end of the day, they're both 18+ so legally recognised as adults pretty much all over the world.
He did seduce them but not like you said, he just made her horny lol
Reply 6
bump
Reply 7
Original post by Fadinga
Hi everyone,
This is my first post here. I just want some input on this. I am a 26 year old guy, and friend with a 43 year old who I met through my dad. We been friends for 4 years now. And i know he has a kink for much younger people, but he just told me he is hooking up with an 18 year old he met. He said its just sex and they meeting up once a week.
I felt a bit uncomfortable when he told me that, but I think its their business in the end. I wonder how people would think if it got out though? What would be your opinion?

I'm not his age before anybody speculates on why i'd side with him but i tend to view it without issue for a few reasons.

The first is that you state its just sex. Since almost everybody would agree that aesthetic attractivness almost always peaks for a women in their twenties (and generally early twenties), it's entirely logical that he would persue the most attractive woman he can find. You would not purchase a painting made by your neigbour if you could afford a Picasso. Humans are fairly shallow creatures.

Second is that as with Strider, i don't view it as anybody else's business what two concenting adults choose to do at least sexually.

The third is that while some people ask why he 'can't get anybody his own age', they don't tend to ask why he would want anybody his own age. Older women are almost certainly less fun to him, more jaded and damaged from prior relationships and if he wants it go anywhere, almost certainly less fertile.

The fourth is that while everybody focusses on him as the typical societal response, they ignore the fact that feminism and our aserbic 'modern liberal' movement has produced a lot of women who have grown up without a strong male (father issues) and are somewhat promiscuous. There are no shortage of young women on dating sites who are shall we say 'agressive' in their persuit of men who 'have their s together' and are much older. It's very likely that the girl involved is not a delicate flower being hunted by a predator as opposed to somebody who likes to peacock.

While i don't like sounding like the PUA types, dating is fundamentally no different to an economic market, everybody has a sexual market value (and a relationship market value - often similar but not always). Aesthetically attractive people can essentially afford to puchase time with women who have a higher sexual market value (be that because he's rich, handsome or anything else).

In short, it's simply the result of unrestrained societal change is this type of thing. You raise a nation of women in divorced households and a nation of men who are themselves damaged and divorced and the result is that they will engage in actions that may have been previously frowned upon.

Note that i'm not suggesting that women should be vestal virgins and i do think he's a tad creepy and very likely to be emotionally damaged but it always interests me how these threads often see people who advocate for things that invariably lead to the atmoization of society then complain at the inevitable consequences. But as this is not a political thread i will say no more.

Reply 8
Original post by Fadinga
Hi everyone,
This is my first post here. I just want some input on this. I am a 26 year old guy, and friend with a 43 year old who I met through my dad. We been friends for 4 years now. And i know he has a kink for much younger people, but he just told me he is hooking up with an 18 year old he met. He said its just sex and they meeting up once a week.
I felt a bit uncomfortable when he told me that, but I think its their business in the end. I wonder how people would think if it got out though? What would be your opinion?
Let them have fun.
I think it is wrong even though legal. The half plus seven rule has some merit.
Original post by barnet lad
I think it is wrong even though legal. The half plus seven rule has some merit.
Nah

I'd agree with you (to an extent) if we were talking about a meaningful relationship, but the OP has made it clear that it's purely sexual... so essentially just body parts.

Spoiler



Besides, I very much doubt most 18 year olds would sleep with a middle-aged man (unless he was very rich, famous, good looking etc.) ... but there are some who prefer older guys (for whatever reason). So that really covers any ethical arguments.
As long as they are both consenting adults who are happy together and there is nothing illegal going on, it's fine.
Just one word: cringe.

A thing I would never do, but it is not my business.
Original post by Fadinga
Yeah they are just meeting up for sex, so how would you see him? He is decently attractive.

Something about much older men that go for barely legal girls that really irks me....

Does he drive a 2009 silver Vauxhall Corsa by any chance?
I’d watch that porno
Reply 15
Original post by Fadinga
Hi everyone,
This is my first post here. I just want some input on this. I am a 26 year old guy, and friend with a 43 year old who I met through my dad. We been friends for 4 years now. And i know he has a kink for much younger people, but he just told me he is hooking up with an 18 year old he met. He said its just sex and they meeting up once a week.
I felt a bit uncomfortable when he told me that, but I think its their business in the end. I wonder how people would think if it got out though? What would be your opinion?

It's called pedophile. Like he's 25 years older. wHaT
Original post by Fromple
It's called pedophile. Like he's 25 years older. wHaT

Get your facts right!

A paedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to prepubescent children. At 18, you are legally recognised as an adult in almost every country in the world. If you choose to see an 18 year old as a minor, then that's on you.

If you feel strongly about it, then by all means, call him a creep, a cradle-snatcher, a "dirty old man", a pervert etc. but not a paedophile (unless you can prove he's been with someone under 16).
(edited 2 weeks ago)
Reply 17
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Get your facts right!
A paedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to prepubescent children. At 18, you are legally recognised as an adult in almost every country in the world. If you choose to see an 18 year old as a minor, then that's on you.
If you feel strongly about it, then by all means, call him a creep, a cradle-snatcher, a "dirty old man", a pervert etc. but not a paedophile (unless you can prove he's been with someone under 16).

Alright thanks for the Def tho
This'll probably freak you out then. I worked at an Italian Restaurant a while ago and the owner and wife were Italian. He was about 68 or so and his wife maybe 60. They were really nice genuine couple. He was quite short and bald and grey hair on sides only ,however he had a lot of Italian charisma even at that age. I was gobsmacked when 2 18 year old ish girls starting chatting him up (not the other way around) in the Restaurant. I was thinking , hey here I am much nearer their age and they are chatting up this old man,lol. I have seen several things like that ,age is meaningless it is in the end personality and all else.
Original post by Fromple
Alright thanks for the Def tho

No worries... and I'm sorry if I came across as a bit harsh.

Still, you need to be careful throwing that name / accusation about though, as paedophiles are amongst the most hated human beings on the planet (a lot of them deservedly so TBF).



Original post by bewilderedonline
This'll probably freak you out then. I worked at an Italian Restaurant a while ago and the owner and wife were Italian. He was about 68 or so and his wife maybe 60. They were really nice genuine couple. He was quite short and bald and grey hair on sides only ,however he had a lot of Italian charisma even at that age. I was gobsmacked when 2 18 year old ish girls starting chatting him up (not the other way around) in the Restaurant. I was thinking , hey here I am much nearer their age and they are chatting up this old man,lol. I have seen several things like that ,age is meaningless it is in the end personality and all else.

Well, as I said in an earlier post, there are some young girls who like older men (although 68 seems a bit extreme). Also, age affects men less significantly than it does women (e.g. menopause, the stress childbirth has on the body etc.)... so it's often said that if a guy takes care of himself, he can be fanciable at any age.

I'm sure the likes of Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan, LL cool J and the late Sean Connery could've pulled attractive girls in their prime, if they really wanted to

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending