I'm a bit concerned that I might have something really wrong with me. I'm exceptionally awkward, I think. I fall over an awful lot, most commonly from slipping when my foot doesn't hit the floor normally. I put it down to just slippy shoes or being an idiot, but now I think about it, I'm just generally incredibley clumsy.
Like at work, I'll be sitting at the till and someone will come to take me off. It's a small space to swap places in, but most people seem to manage fine. However, I always walk into the side of the till, or bump into someone. It's the same on aeroplanes and in crowded shopping centres or cinemas. I always bump into people. And I seem to have a lot of those moments where you end up doing a little dance with someone because you both try and get out of the way. I'm also really sensitive to being touched. Like if I'm sitting down and someone brushes my leg accidentally, my whole body jerks like I've been tense all along waiting for it to happen.
I do tend to be really paranoid and neurotic about what people think of me (like I imagine they think I'm rude when I don't mean to be, or I worry they won't like me, and I worry they think I'm weird if I smile at them trying to be friendly like). Is it possible that it's just this paranoia that's making me physically awkward as well? Like I'm so worried about people thinking I'm stupid, that my body is just constantly on alert as well and acts weird? I've been reading on the internet and a lot of my awkwardness sounds like possible dyspraxia, but maybe it's just me being anxious and making my body play up through stress? Do you think if I chilled out a bit and made some effort to improve my confidence and general attitude, the clumsiness might fade as well?
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