Am I keeping his hopes up 4 months later?

shorty.loves.angels

It was a bad break up. There's no chance of us getting back together. We're still friends. I'm getting on with my life.

I'm not angry that he texts me 24/7, I'm just loooking for suggestions as to why he might be doing it and whether I'm potentially making things worse for him by always eventually replying.

He texts me as soon as he wakes up but I never reply at this time - too busy getting to work. I then have another by the time I finish work, which is usually followed by a 'Are you not talking to me?' If I have still not replied. Despite the fact that he knows I don't get signal at work. Sometimes if I reply to one message and not the next, I get a 'Where you gone?' shortly after. This has been pretty muc every day since we broke up. Quite often, he gives me very little to reply to!

I'm not angry, and I don't wana make this more than it is but I genuinely care about him and want to do the best thing. But I don't know what he's thinking ...just bored? ...can't move on? ...wants to keep tabs on me?

I'm a little worried that I'm keeping his hopes up by staying in touch so much. But if I'm not, then I don't wana hurt him by not. Opinions would be very helpful :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 1

Double Agent

18

He can't possibly move on like this, and it sounds like its stopping you too. I think its too soon to be friends, you need a firm and frank conversation about why you're best off not seeing each other anymore, which includes cutting contact. I would imagine he is clinging on to the emotional support you offered, and probably still has deep feelings for you.

Reply 2

shorty.loves.angels

OP

16

Original post by Double Agent

He can't possibly move on like this, and it sounds like its stopping you too. I think its too soon to be friends, you need a firm and frank conversation about why you're best off not seeing each other anymore, which includes cutting contact. I would imagine he is clinging on to the emotional support you offered, and probably still has deep feelings for you.

Eee, was hoping this wouldn't be a suggestion. Admittedly, I could probably cut contact and move on. But I'm so worried how he'd take it if I did that. Which is why I haven't. I was hoping/ expecting that it would just fizzle out but he won't let it. So would you suggest I tell him that I think it's better that we cut contact? I can't just ignore him that would be rude. I really don't wana hurt him :frown:

Reply 3

Double Agent

18

Original post by shorty.loves.angels

Eee, was hoping this wouldn't be a suggestion. Admittedly, I could probably cut contact and move on. But I'm so worried how he'd take it if I did that. Which is why I haven't. I was hoping/ expecting that it would just fizzle out but he won't let it. So would you suggest I tell him that I think it's better that we cut contact? I can't just ignore him that would be rude. I really don't wana hurt him :frown:

Yes, absolutly talk to him and tell him first, he needs to be very clear about the sitauation in order to gain closure on it. It doesnt have to be forever, 6 months can really get your head clear. Rather than hurting him it is kinder in the long run.

Reply 4

member569366

Be honest and deal with him upfront. Set boundaries, or like Double Agent suggested, cut contact altogether. Whatever you do, don't sink into the passive aggressive avoidance strategy.

Reply 5

kldeegan

you're a terrible person for keeping his hopes up in this way.
you should sleep with him now to make up for it, but then never ever reply to his texts ever again.

Reply 6

unistudent11

Original post by kldeegan

you're a terrible person for keeping his hopes up in this way.
you should sleep with him now to make up for it, but then never ever reply to his texts ever again.

HAHAHA

Sleeping with him will not help the situation 1 bit. Just stop replying to the messages!

Reply 7

MylesXD

Original post by unistudent11

HAHAHA

Sleeping with him will not help the situation 1 bit. Just stop replying to the messages!

Well it would make him feel better haha, but yeah OP, you really are sending him mix singles, this has happen 2 me before, and it aint nice, stop talking to him competely, give you both time to move on, and if it feel right months down the line talk 2 him :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Am I keeping his hopes up 4 months later?

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