Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice?

Well, my family are kind of bark-worse-than-bite on this issue. I'm Bangladeshi and for years I grew up thinking that/being told that I could only marry a Bangladeshi, and that was definitely the case when it came to my sisters getting married (no brothers, so it wasn't an issue about girls not having as much freedom as boys or anything).

The reason for this wasn't about purity of blood lines or anything, it was because my parents said that the future children of the marriage would be confused as to their heritage. I found it difficult learning my 'mother tongue' as it was, so if a kid has more languages/cultures that it feels it has to hold onto, my parents reckoned it would be hard for the child to keep connected to its heritage.

BUT now it's my turn (in a few years) and they've realised that this was maybe not a rule that needed to be set in stone. So as religion has always also been more of a selling point than ethnicity anyway, if I found the right guy who had the right way of thinking and wasn't Bangladeshi, they wouldn't mind. I think if he was black/white it would be more of an issue though than if he was Arab/Pakistani/Indian/something more 'compatible looking' - only cos of the wedding pictures though hahah!

Hope this made sense?!

well Im Bengali and so is my Fiance, my parents knew about us before they knew we wanted to get married, when I was 16, I got caught and they were mad but they have accepted it now but hes bengali too and a Muslim. MY older sister on the other hand married a non bengali non muslim guy, but the condition was he had to convert to islam which he did, hes not practising at all, just a muslim by name but I suppose if you want to marry someone of your choice, make sure they follow your religion AT LEAST, nowadays most south asians don't care what country the spouse is from, as long s they are of the same religion they will accept it, if they aren't try to persuade them to convert, it would help ALOT x

My parents are Chinese and Indian, they have always maintained that I could marry anyone, but she has to be either Chinese or Indian. They been clear along as to the requirement that she has to be either Chinese or Indian and definitely under no circumstances absolutely no muslims or blacks. Apparently the rule also included no whites

The other rule is her family must have the same social and economic standing as my parents and she must not earn less than 20% of what I am earning.

They just found out I have a white gf, and they've not yet known it yet that she grew up in a single family household, definitely do not have the same economic or social standing and yes currently she earns 20% of what I earn. Thankfully they do not live in UK else WW3 is definitely on the way.

my friend,from Bangladesh,she can barely breath without permission from her parents.
i was the first friend to take her to cinema,KFC and starbucks..
Her family is VERY religous.
I'm muslim,but like more of the modern types..and i still had to lie to her parents that i was a religous obsessed freak so they would let her be friends with me.
so non-muslim guy=no

The reason my mum&dads marriage ended =my dad was hindu my mum was muslim.

my dad first lied he was muslim to go out with my mum but then families got involved and they certainly didnt apporve.
my mum was openminded byt dads family went kinda crazy,plus the culture was VERY different

But they dont care what race i marry

lol that would be even weirder than an arranged marriage. i wobder how my parents would react if i told them i was engaged to a girl i met online. Anyway im to young for marriage im still in school lol

yeah it does. But does that mean you'd personally not attempt to get as long to a pale or very dark skinned man even if he seemed to have a great personality and clicked with you, you'd lean towards making the effort to one with a central Asian skin tone? (ok that's varied but hopefully you understand haha.)

Well, I've never attempted to get close in a romantic way with any guy, regardless of skin colour or how perfect he may be as husband material...I've found both white and black guys attractive in the past though, but never enough to picture us getting married or even being in a relationship. So, truth be told, maybe there is a mental block in my way of thinking that means I'm programmed not to think of them (black/white guys) in that (marriage material) way...?

These replies are making me sad

Makes me appreciate the way my parents have brought me up without all these silly restrictions on race. If you're a Muslim on this thread, nowhere in the Qur'an does it discriminate against ones race. This silly idea of you MUST marry within your race or caste or else we'll disown you/beat you needs to die.

I feel quite sorry for some brown people, not gonna lie.

yeah it's what I was thinking to be honest (no offence).

Luckily I personally find myself more attracted to those of my own skin colour, can't help that but at least it lowers the chances of some sort of traditional family issues which would might problematic with an Asian partner. I think possibly more so if the girl has the traditional family.

There's also the cultural factor, though. Parents want their grandkids to retain culture as well as religion, so they impose the restrictions on their son/daughter when they get married.

I agree with you in though, as an Indian I can find a well valued white/black/latina/chinese girl... some more so than certain Indian girls! but thats the way it is, and I'd probably marry someone indian to keep my parents happy - their happiness is more important in my eyes.

Haha luckily for me too, actually. I find Asians/Arabs the best looking but can appreciate other races too. So I'm gonna find it a lot easier than my sister who only goes for the Matt Cardle types...I dunno what she's planning on doing...

Are you able to marry out of your own race/religion?
Or rather, would you?

I'd say that's a lack of trust in your children if anything. I can pretty much safety say I'm not going to settle down with an Asian woman - for various reasons, that's not to say I lose my culture or religion. The last 3 weddings I've been to have all been female cousins of mine who have married white men. Yet they still retain their roots and one has a child, with a Muslim name and still go to the Mosque.

It SHOULD be whatever makes you happy, there are great, moral girls of all race, it's CERTAINLY not specific to Asian girls - especially as you know Asian girls of our generation may be ones to avoid as you can see that they're trying to rebel - so if anything you'll be happier and have retained more of your culture marrying outside of your race.

I just dont think the two (maintaining culture & having a relationship with Asian girls) are exclusive to each other.