Age Difference too great?

OP

I started university this year, as I took two gap years to decide what I wanted to do. I have met a few girls in uni/out of uni who are around my age (18-22), but I happen to like this girl :P And thank you :smile:

Most people have said it sounds fine - in fact, the majority have even said age gaps like 17-24 are fine... but there are one or two people who still insist that being 4 years older makes me some sort of pervert, lol...

Reply 21

oh-bang

8

At that age it is quite a big gap! And from other TSR threads I've seen that that age gap can cause a lot of problems. I guess it depends how mature you both are..

Reply 22

Checkers King

OP

Original post by oh-bang

At that age it is quite a big gap! And from other TSR threads I've seen that that age gap can cause a lot of problems. I guess it depends how mature you both are..

I know what you mean. That's what I was saying in my first post - even though it's essentially only a few years, it's at that sort of age where there are often differences in maturity etc. But it could be a worse gap, like 12-16 (yes, I know that is beyond wrong! :P ) but I honestly think that, despite having a 4.5 year gap, it can work out. She will be 17 long before my birthday, which will make the gap seem a fair bit smaller, and she is mature for her age.

As others have said, even 24 isn't that much older than 17, even in terms of maturity for a lot of people.

Reply 23

dmz

17

Nah that's wrong bruv, if i didn't take a gap year I'd be out of uni by 21, and she'd still be in high school?WRONG! find women your own age or closer

Reply 24

Checkers King

OP

Original post by dmz

Nah that's wrong bruv, if i didn't take a gap year I'd be out of uni by 21, and she'd still be in high school?WRONG! find women your own age or closer

No, you would just be finishing uni, and she would be in college. The thing is, you're looking at it from that point of view: "she is in college, I just left uni" , but surely what actually matters is the age difference, rather than who is where at hwhat point? And the difference is only 4.5 years. That's not exactly a huge difference. The difference wll seem even smaller when she turns 17. Like others said, to most people, the difference even between 17 and twenty FOUR is not that much when you think about it.

Reply 25

Cicerao

14

When I was 17 I was dating a 27 year old (am 19 now.)

Perverted? Potentially.

Hot? Hell yes. :awesome:

Reply 26

Checkers King

OP

Original post by Cicerao

When I was 17 I was dating a 27 year old (am 19 now.)

Perverted? Potentially.

Hot? Hell yes. :awesome:

lol! Yeah, but that is a TEN year difference! :P That makes my 4 and half year gap seem so negligible :P When she is 17, I will still be 21.

Reply 27

Cicerao

14

Original post by Checkers King

lol! Yeah, but that is a TEN year difference! :P That makes me 4 and half year gap seem so negligible :P When she is 17, I will still be 21.

Then I've done you a favour. If anyone calls you a pervert you can deflect attention onto me and go, SHE'S WORSE! And I will just be like: :awesome:

Go for it, you sly dog, you. :mmm:

Reply 28

Checkers King

OP

Original post by Cicerao

Then I've done you a favour. If anyone calls you a pervert you can deflect attention onto me and go, SHE'S WORSE! And I will just be like: :awesome:

Go for it, you sly dog, you. :mmm:

LOL, don't worry, I wouldn't deflect attention to you :P I'm not that mean. But, since creating this thread, I have sort of realised it really is not that much of an issue. She is nearly 17, and I will still be 21 and nowhere near 22 by that point. I just can't see how people would think 17 - 21/22 is that big of a deal :P People here seem to think even 7-10 year gaps are fine :P

Reply 29

smokeyjo92

Trust me it's fine, I was in a relationship with a 22/23 year old when I was 16 and we had no problems. Tbh as long as shes 16 and legally of age then it's cool, age gaps shouldn't matter if you genuinely like her :smile:

Reply 30

dmz

17

Original post by Checkers King

No, you would just be finishing uni, and she would be in college. The thing is, you're looking at it from that point of view: "she is in college, I just left uni" , but surely what actually matters is the age difference, rather than who is where at hwhat point? And the difference is only 4.5 years. That's not exactly a huge difference. The difference wll seem even smaller when she turns 17. Like others said, to most people, the difference even between 17 and twenty FOUR is not that much when you think about it.

it's huge at this age. 50 to 40 not so bad, 20 to 10's ****ed up. Well all these girls would like to think they can get much older guys, doesn't make it right. If it's wrong from any perspective then just leave it, unless you're already infactuated, a full grown man potentially with a job to girl half way thru her teen who needs mummy for lunch money isn't cool at all, i mean it's just my opinion but i was 17 and went out with a 15yr old who was same age as my brothers, i really liked her but the fact i was in college and she was in yr 10 there was a clear difference in our mentality and we were at different stages in life. Even though it was two yrs i couldn't help looking down on her as a kid, but this is me. If you can deal with it sure go for it but the fact you make a thread questioning it shows what you think of it.

Go ahead neg me

Reply 31

aeterno

15

Age is just a number :yep:

If you're both legal and happy, I don't see the problem with it. From what I can tell, you don't seem like you're manipulating her or using her in any way and if the feeling's mutual, why fight it?

Reply 32

Checkers King

OP

Original post by dmz

it's huge at this age. 50 to 40 not so bad, 20 to 10's ****ed up. Well all these girls would like to think they can get much older guys, doesn't make it right. If it's wrong from any perspective then just leave it, unless you're already infactuated, a full grown man potentially with a job to girl half way thru her teen who needs mummy for lunch money isn't cool at all, i mean it's just my opinion but i was 17 and went out with a 15yr old who was same age as my brothers, i really liked her but the fact i was in college and she was in yr 10 there was a clear difference in our mentality and we were at different stages in life. Even though it was two yrs i couldn't help looking down on her as a kid, but this is me. If you can deal with it sure go for it but the fact you make a thread questioning it shows what you think of it.

Go ahead neg me

Not going to neg you, lol. I wanted people's opinions. I posed the question not because I see any major issue, but because I wanted to see what the consensus was; and, so far, it has been that it is 'fine'. But I respect your opinion. I know the gap is tiny in terms of numbers, but I also know that, as you said, at this age, there will be a difference in mentality. However, that said, bear in mind the gap is 4 years...it's not quite the same as a fully grown man in his prime going out with a teenage girl - if it was a 25 year-old or older, I would agree

But she is almost 17, and I just turned 21 - yes, there is a difference, but, even in terms of development, I am still not exactly far off. You're still growing and developing from 20-25 (particularly guys), and I can't see why the gap would be that great. But I can definitely see your angle. Because of the current age, socially we are different because I can drink and she cannot etc.

Reply 33

Checkers King

OP

Original post by aeterno

Age is just a number :yep:

If you're both legal and happy, I don't see the problem with it. From what I can tell, you don't seem like you're manipulating her or using her in any way and if the feeling's mutual, why fight it?

That is my feeling :smile:

I have even brought it up with her several times, and she is very mature and immediately states that she knows it's not 'funny business'. I was worried she would think that.

Reply 34

WelshBluebird

16

OP - go for it. Age is just a number at the end of the day. It doesn't really mean anything. As long as your not breaking the law or taking advantage, why does it matter?

I met my gf 18 months ago, she was 16 and I was 19. We are still together and its going great :smile: