The "Nice Guy" complex

Or in other words... being a good/kind/thoughtful/caring person counts for diddly squat?

Unless I'm missing other peoples definitions of friendzone? But that's what I meant. It's a situation where you find someone attractive but they don't find you attractive and so you've ended up in a situation where one has feelings but the other doesn't but you still spend time together because it's fun and theres a level of familiarity so you're friends.

The rejection is because of a lack of attraction but some people are just too scared to do the right thing and just cut off the friendship and instead go along and hope they will change their mind but that never really happens. Have you never liked someone who's never liked you back?

Yeah but that's exactly what I'm trying to say. Friendship essentially has nothing to do with the rejection because if they found you attractive, they'd give it a go regardless of being friends; hell, they'd probably even prefer going out with someone who they already know is a fun and interesting person, if the attraction was there.

I have experienced unrequited feelings for a friend once and ended up cutting her out of my life when she did not reciprocate the feelings. More people should do that, as you said many people pretend to be happy with the friendship following a rejection in the hopes that eventually that person will change their feelings, which seldom happens and draws out the process substantially. Very rarely do people stay friends because they're genuinely happy with being only friends and nothing else.

I don't like using the term friendzone to describe it though, it seems like tacky newspeak for unrequited love. Besides no one is 'stuck' there -- it's entirely within your own power to leave.

Yeah I agree it's usually better to cut the cord. Sometimes that brings a response like some of the posters here are saying that "you were only in it for sex. as soon as your nice routine didn't work out you weren't such a 'nice' guy after all!" though but who cares I guess. I should make a habit of moving on but sometimes I'm a bit of a fool and stick around for a few months longer than I should have.

The friendzone, or unrequited love is real. I don't get why people saying that it's impossible for a man or a woman to make their intentions clear to someone they like but they're rejected because the person they like doesnt want to lose them as a friend.

It's more common than you think.

I'd say it's a more of a fictional construct some people (mostly male) have created in order to justify the situation they're in as a result of being rejected. It's a method of dealing with disappointment and somewhat of a comfort technique because who enjoys that experience, right?

It's not a method though. It's the situation. Boy fancies girl. Boy makes it obvious. Girl turns down because she's not attracted to boy. Boy sticks around because they are friends but he's hoping for something more but he knows nothing will come about it.

The friendzone isn't being turned down because you're a friend. It's a situation where you're still being their friend despite being turned down. It's basically a problem with the boy (in this example) not cutting ties and moving on but instead making it more painful on themselves by sticking around in hope of something happening.

Yes but I'm emphasizing the term 'friendzone'. It's a made up word to summarise a situation a guy is in because the girl he likes doesn't return the feelings.

A lot of guys use 'friendzone' as a way to place the blame for this situation on the girl.

If a good looking guy is 'nice' he's caring and romantic.

If an average guy is 'nice' he's boring and plain.

If a good looking guy is a douchrbag he's funny and thrilling.

If an average guy is a douchebag he's annoying and rude.

Keep in mind this is the reaction of average girls towards these guys.

I've summed up the underlying problem of nice complex in a few lines yet no one touched on it in 8 pages.

If a good looking guy is 'nice' he's caring and romantic.

If an average guy is 'nice' he's boring and plain.

If a good looking guy is a douchrbag he's funny and thrilling.

If an average guy is a douchebag he's annoying and rude.

Keep in mind this is the reaction of average girls towards these guys.

I've summed up the underlying problem of nice complex in a few lines yet no one touched on it in 8 pages.

If a good looking guy is 'nice' he's caring and romantic.

If an average guy is 'nice' he's boring and plain.

If a good looking guy is a douchrbag he's funny and thrilling.

If an average guy is a douchebag he's annoying and rude.

Keep in mind this is the reaction of average girls towards these guys.

I've summed up the underlying problem of nice complex in a few lines yet no one touched on it in 8 pages.

Eventually you'll meet a guy who isn't good looking who gets ****loads of girls and realise things are more complex than you realise.