Is "just be yourself" good advice

Ah right, so I hadn’t misremembered after all So he made a mistake, you did the sensible thing, and he was crazy about you and couldn’t take the separation. I think you just made a pretty good case for being a girl such guys want desperately to be with, btw

She was someone I was seeing briefly, and not exclusively. She was not an ex-girlfriend

She was a lovely, grounded girl, sweet as pie, and although ours was a ‘light’ (open/free) relationship, neither of us saw other people whilst we were seeing each other and she's ordinarily the type to have only serious relationships

Things wouldn’t go really well with those types, but sure if you had a good friendship you might try e.g. a light relationship with such a character, but a full blown, fully committed relationship would be asking for trouble

Yup, others like the beta Sweedish ‘nice guy’ she ended up seeing.. for a while. Poor fool

You’d be surprised, a lot of guys are still sweet/traditional, believe it or not, it’s just that the stud types are more salient and have a lifestyle that is more sensationalised in the media

Actually that often has a lot to do with e.g. alcohol and wanting sex, as well as a warped desire for validation

Sure, but what do you think happens when the chase/game are over, and the girl is no longer hard to get?..

For sure, a lot of young guys prioritise that and to a certain extent need to get that out of their system. However, the thread you’ve just quoted me in is a good example of how the wifey model can trump the single model of living when you look at things in the round You just don’t get that level of partnership/companionship when you live a party existence. Sporadic, transient hedonistic thrills are no substitute for stability and a deep sense of bonding and belonging

With all due respect, you haven’t dated and haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. Pretending to be experienced/acting a slut as a girl is lunacy (being relatively innocent/decent is charming to most men) and although it might stand a guy in good stead if he can do it convincingly, it’s fake and he’s liable to get found out (and look a total tool)

Yeah. If you're fake everyone will know.

Correct

One proposition does not follow from the other. What it "just goes to show" is that one shouldn’t date impulsive and immature guys who are prepared to put your feelings, never mind personal integrity, second behind selfishness and here-today-gone-tomorrow hedonistic highs

No girl has ever demanded it of me. When I’ve had casual arrangements it has always been my idea

Often true, if their English isn’t necessarily always on point

Oh for sure, they’ll always find someone else to chase, but the chase typically ends when a guy who is a reasonably good lover manages to smash a slut, unless she gets him to psychologically hook, which is extremely rare

You felt that way about your ex’s? That’s ****ed up, you were worth 10 of them!

Those sorts of worries become self fulfilling prophecies because douchebags sense weakness/insecurity and instead of helping a girl overcome such things, allow it to become a source of revulsion, and hence disrespect

I can understand why girls may do this, and have seen countless threads on here in which girls compare themselves to a guy’s ex and try to emulate them/worry they’ll never match up. Personally I can’t conceive of what it’s like to have such a weak mindset, but then I’m a narcissist so I guess that helps (if you automatically assume you’re the best thing since sliced bread and your ex girlfriends come out of the woodwork years later to tell you they’ve never quite been able to move on, then it kind of puts pay to the prospect of any related insecurities) You need to get used to the idea that your ex’s were extremely lucky to have you and any future partner will be similarly blessed

Actually, as you well know, girls often think the opposite e.g. ‘I really want to have sex with him but if I put out now he’s going to think I’m easy and won’t respect me’

It could be..

Let’s hope not

Fair enough. I’m here to tell you, your instinct is mistaken, and comes from a position of insecurity/having been wounded, not rationality/empiricism

So you know better than most how unhealthy and unsustainable it can be trying to live a false existence

Relax I was just teasing, I know how difficult it is to be fastidious about typed English the whole time when you are unwell. When I had fever I could barely look at my computer screen, let alone communicate coherently!

I now realise I should never have discussed my ex’s with you – thank God none of them were right for me!

At least they did eventually, and I hope that message gets through to you in the end!

I dunno about hard work, but certainly commitment, honesty and respect, the later of which I always do, and the first of which I would always do with a girlfriend (otherwise what’s the point?)

Well, unless there’s something I don’t know about you, we’ll just have to agree to disagree because to me you seem like you’d make a great girlfriend just being yourself (so long as you can get your self-esteem in order, in good time)

Was expecting more of a reply than that but I guess we'll see (I know what my money's on)

Sure, £200 says just being your (true) self results in you securing a new boyfriend who will support you through thick and thin and love you very muchly

Whether it's trying to make friends or going on a first date, is being yourself good advice?
Does anyone have stories when being themselves worked or didn't or pretending to be someone else worked out better for them?

You know how much of a tightass I am, and where that £200 has come from, you know I wouldn't gamble it on a whim

Put yourself in that situation, and you'll see how right I am

You know how much of a tightass I am, and where that £200 has come from, you know I wouldn't gamble it on a whim

Put yourself in that situation, and you'll see how right I am

Haha, surely you wouldn't make a romantic break a wager in a bet now!?