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Ex-bf has inappropriate pics of me

Agh, so I've never been one to take nude photos to send to a boyfriend but my boyfriend was in the army which meant we didn't see each other for a long time so he pursuaded me to take some naughty photos of myself for him.
Not long after this I ended up breaking up with him for various reasons but mainly because I couldn't deal with the long distance when he was on duty.
He didn't take the break up well at all and now he's threatening to share the pictures with his army mates which I really don't want to happen. There's only three pictures and they aren't that bad but still...
Now I don't think he's going to do it, he often dishes empty threats. But is there anything I can do to make him delete the photos? Legally? Do I have a leg to stand on or is it my fault for sending the photos in the first place? I probably won't take it legal but I'd like to know my options.

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Agh, so I've never been one to take nude photos to send to a boyfriend but my boyfriend was in the army which meant we didn't see each other for a long time so he pursuaded me to take some naughty photos of myself for him.
Not long after this I ended up breaking up with him for various reasons but mainly because I couldn't deal with the long distance when he was on duty.
He didn't take the break up well at all and now he's threatening to share the pictures with his army mates which I really don't want to happen. There's only three pictures and they aren't that bad but still...
Now I don't think he's going to do it, he often dishes empty threats. But is there anything I can do to make him delete the photos? Legally? Do I have a leg to stand on or is it my fault for sending the photos in the first place? I probably won't take it legal but I'd like to know my options.


That would be revenge porn and it is illegal. His sentence will also be tougher as he is in the army. Remind him of that.
Reply 2
its illegal for him to spread them, he could face jail, try to get him to delete them, threaten him back. say you'll show the threatening texts to the police/his family.
Reply 3
Original post by Reue
That would be revenge porn and it is illegal. His sentence will also be tougher as he is in the army. Remind him of that.


actually he'll get two sentences
one civi, one army
He's an idiot. It's such a new guy move to get all butthurt and start sharing the nudes. I've got about 140+ of my ex and not a soul has or will see 'em. I worked for those! they're mine!

He can show other people, I think legality comes into it if he were to post them online.

The trick is to not show your face in nudes, they could be anyone. Don't tell me you've gone full portrait?
What an absolute tool he is. I've sent pics to my boyfriend and sometimes I worry about these things too. Honestly if they're not that bad then screw it, ignore him and he will give up, if he does end up sending them out then take it up with the police, he's an absolute dog for doing that.
His army fellows saw them the day he got them I'm sorry to say. If he was so classless as to threaten this at all, it has already happened.

I'm sorry that it happened to you. He was a dink.

Men in general should stop and think, "If women think that there is a real risk to sending nude photos, they will stop sending nude photos."

That's it. Nothing but cute little emojis for the rest of time because of guys like him.
Original post by ThatOldGuy
His army fellows saw them the day he got them I'm sorry to say.



Unfortunately, this is true. :/
ive had a nude spread of me, make sure he deletes it, it was the worst thing ad been through and i dont want that to happen to you :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Supersaps
Unfortunately, this is true. :/


not always, my bf is military and his far from the boasting type
Original post by shawtyb
not always, my bf is military and his far from the boasting type


Well, it's good you trust him. I'm a serving soldier and I know for a fact 90% of the time these things get shared, it's just part of the army culture. I don't agree with it. But that's the way it is.
Original post by Supersaps
Well, it's good you trust him. I'm a serving soldier and I know for a fact 90% of the time these things get shared, it's just part of the army culture. I don't agree with it. But that's the way it is.


oh yea i know what military lads are like but i think i got lucky with mine :smile:
plus, iv got ones of him so he wouldnt dare lol
It's your own fault for giving him the photos. It is your responsibility to ensure that you don't give your photos to people who will use them in ways that you do not approve of. It shouldn't be illegal either, as you consented to his ownership of the photos and they are his property. The police shouldn't have to clean up after your irresponsibility just because you were horny.

Either way, he is still a cun*.
This is why I wouldn't even send nudes in the first place.
Section 33 of the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015. He won't release them and if he does, he's ****ed (if reported). Though it would have to be demonstrated that he intended to cause distress by releasing the pics s33(1)(B), rather than his merely being careless with those pics.

Further question of whether OP would report it. After feeling humiliated, one is not necessarily predisposed to expose one's vulnerability to even more people (especially not an officious sergeant in sex crime).
Original post by callum_law
Section 33 of the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015. He won't release them and if he does, he's ****ed (if reported). Though it would have to be demonstrated that he intended to cause distress by releasing the pics s33(1)(B), rather than his merely being careless with those pics.

Further question of whether OP would report it. After feeling humiliated, one is not necessarily predisposed to expose one's vulnerability to even more people (especially not an officious sergeant in sex crime).


unfortuantly when it happened to me the bill wasnt in place
Original post by Anonymous
unfortuantly when it happened to me the bill wasnt in place


What was the consequence of the nudes being shared (family, friends see?) and would you have gone to the police if the Act were in place?
Original post by callum_law
What was the consequence of the nudes being shared (family, friends see?) and would you have gone to the police if the Act were in place?


the whole college saw pretty much the whole town, even other towns saw it. it spread like wildfire tbh. my parents did find out and it bought shame to them. The police did get involved as i was getting severely blackmailed by people i didnt know (thats how my family found out) the police wernt helpful at all, i was a minor at the time (16 years old) as well. they just gave my dad a booklet lol
You're both as bad as each other. Sending nudes is a risky business!

I'd be careful how you tread if I were you, because going to the police could do you as much harm as good. You'll be bringing attention to the situation.
If I were you I'd block him out of your life and move on. He's probably only threatening you because he wants your attention! Don't give it to him.

Also, if the photos do end up getting spread around the camp, I'm sure it won't be long before the next girl's and so on. You'll soon be forgotten. Harsh but likely true!

DON'T SEND NUDES PEOPLE.


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Original post by Anonymous
the whole college saw pretty much the whole town, even other towns saw it. it spread like wildfire tbh. my parents did find out and it bought shame to them. The police did get involved as i was getting severely blackmailed by people i didnt know (thats how my family found out) the police wernt helpful at all, i was a minor at the time (16 years old) as well. they just gave my dad a booklet lol


Yeah, that's what I thought might happen. As you alluded to, you were not 18 and so there was legislation in place to prohibit the distribution of the nudes you sent. The enforceability of the protection offered by legislation is an entirely different issue.

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