I think i&#x27;m afraid of sex

OP

Original post by Reeeeyah

I think you should take it slow, maybe look for friendship at first to learn that we really aren't that scary.

I've got platonic friendships with some girls from my church and uni but that's really not helping me with my issue!

Reply 4

queen-bee

19

Maybe see your GP about it and they can refer you to someone?

Reply 5

User1333171

12

I think we could be a perfect match.

Are you asexual?

OP

Original post by Eternalflames

Are you asexual?

Definitely not!, although I’ve sworn off masturbation and porn so my sex drive is kinda low with the stress of uni work. I see fit girls around that I’d like to **** but I always feel like I’m doing something wrong by wanting to go over and talk to them. I feel like I’m being watched and scrutinised by everyone nearby.

Original post by mscaffrey

I think we could be a perfect match.

Tell me more my dear :wink:

Original post by queen-bee

Maybe see your GP about it and they can refer you to someone?

What would I tell my GP and how would a referral help me?

Reply 8

whorace

2

Get out of your cumfort zone

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous

Definitely not!, although I’ve sworn off masturbation and porn so my sex drive is kinda low with the stress of uni work. I see fit girls around that I’d like to **** but I always feel like I’m doing something wrong by wanting to go over and talk to them. I feel like I’m being watched and scrutinised by everyone nearby.

Hmm, could just be a confidence problem then when it comes to dating. Just eff anyone's else opinion and talk to them if you want to :smile:

Reply 10

Original post by whorace

Get out of your cumfort zone

Hahaha!

Reply 11

Katarvi

15

I'm the exact same tbh, only I'm female and have had boyfriends in the past.

You could try counselling or therapy for self-esteem issues? Have you tried online dating? Why have your dates never progressed to a relationship? Not that that they always should, just wondering.

Reply 12

Dnkz7

12

Hey bro,
Think it's probably best you find some girl who is right for you. What I mean is that she can understand you and connects with you a deeper and meaningful way and maybe one day you can take her v-card or she can take yours.

You need to connect emotionally, don't rush to lose it or else you'll regret it! Talk to more girls, I know it may sound bad but talk to them at the same time and whoever you think is good for you emotionally and physically then I think you'll have no problem with sex. It's just getting beyond that barrier first, respect them as people not sexual objects bruh

Reply 13

sabana

20

Don't worry you will meet someone one day and you'll be comfortable with them. I used to have bad SA too. What's your job by the way?

Reply 14

OP

Original post by Katarvi

I'm the exact same tbh, only I'm female and have had boyfriends in the past.

You could try counselling or therapy for self-esteem issues? Have you tried online dating? Why have your dates never progressed to a relationship? Not that that they always should, just wondering.

I'm currently seeing a counselor whos is great and really smart. I've done online dating and only gone on two dates from Tinder. On the other ones i get ignored and no replies.

Dates never progress to relationships cos i get friendzoned at the second date. The last time i was too scared to kiss her and she decided she wanted to be friends with me despite sending me pics. I've never been in a relationship cos no woman would ever want to. I must obviously be doing something wrong or just inadequate as a human being.

I don't know what it's like to open up myself and my life to someone else. Its ****ing intimidating and i don't feel like i'll ever get my life to be perfect enough for someone to be in it.

Reply 15

Katarvi

15

Original post by Anonymous

I'm currently seeing a counselor whos is great and really smart. I've done online dating and only gone on two dates from Tinder. On the other ones i get ignored and no replies.

Dates never progress to relationships cos i get friendzoned at the second date. The last time i was too scared to kiss her and she decided she wanted to be friends with me despite sending me pics. I've never been in a relationship cos no woman would ever want to. I must obviously be doing something wrong or just inadequate as a human being.

I don't know what it's like to open up myself and my life to someone else. Its ****ing intimidating and i don't feel like i'll ever get my life to be perfect enough for someone to be in it.

I think part of the problem here is your mindset. Thinking that you aren't good enough and won't ever find someone is almost like a self-fulfilling prophesy. You think that which effects your behaviour which makes what you think become truth. You need to have more confidence in yourself; which is easier said than done I know.

Being scared to kiss a girl on a date is a definite turn off, women typically tend to like men who are more sure of themselves and willing to make the first moves. You need to learn to actually like yourself before you can really expect anyone else to.

Your life definitely does not need to be perfect in order to have someone else in it. Far from it. Is seeing your counsellor helping at all? I'd suggest buying some self-help books on confidence and self-esteem, Google tips for how to boost confidence and talk to women, work on getting your life to a point where you are happy with you who are and where you're at (are you studying, working?) and in the mean time try some other online dating websites that aren't Tinder. Something less hook-up-y and slightly more serious like OKCupid, POF, Match, etc. Go on a few more dates and see how you fare, you've nothing to lose and it will help build up your experience in talking to women.

Most importantly, don't lose hope! You WILL find someone and it will be exactly the right type of person for you and everything will be fine! Stay positive and believe it will happen, you will be fine! :smile:

Reply 16

OP

Original post by Eternalflames

Hmm, could just be a confidence problem then when it comes to dating. Just eff anyone's else opinion and talk to them if you want to :smile:

Ha easier said than done. I see girls in the quiet section of the library a lot but i dunno if its appropriate to try and chat them up then lol.

Reply 17

Original post by Anonymous

Ha easier said than done. I see girls in the quiet section of the library a lot but i dunno if its appropriate to try and chat them up then lol.

Lol, why not?
What have you got to lose? :smile:

Reply 18

OP

Original post by Eternalflames

Lol, why not?
What have you got to lose? :smile:

Ok so I talked to a really gorgeous girl that I've seen around. Turns out we're on the same course but she's a year above me. We talked a little and it was all okay despite me virtually having an anxiety attack beforehand.

I didn't ask for her name or number and by the time I got back from lunch she'd gone. I feel really stupid now but I'm glad I had the guts to at least say hi.

Reply 19