Debating whether to drop out or not...
Hi. I've been at university for just over a month now, and it has already been a wild ride, but not really one im willing to put up with much longer. To start off, I have pretty bad social anxiety and I live in a very lively student dorm. Because of this, I do find myself in situations where I'm actually too anxious to cook because they're always in the kitchen and they really are a lively bunch, which makes me feel very self-conscious..
I have informed the university and they said they can relocate me to another flat, but it wouldn't make a difference. I'd still most likely be too anxious to even cook (like , I've never really cooked often and im scared as to whether I'll **** up or not.) Cause of this, ive been stressed and wide-awake at nights to the point where I've already missed so many lectures. Just to make it clear, I seem to have lost all interest in my course due to these issues, so I tend to give a lot of them a miss.
I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm already underweight as it is and I don't want to lose anymore weight by being too anxious to cook. As for my course, it doesn't really interest me now. I find it pretty difficult, oh and I'm pretty far behind now. I think I'll give it another week to decide but I feel like my mind has already been made up. I think being a 100 miles away from home also hasn't helped lol. But yeah, what do you guys think. I honestly don't think it's for me, I'm way too quiet and shizz to enjoy myself and most times I just chill in my dorm and listen to music rather than go out.
I have informed the university and they said they can relocate me to another flat, but it wouldn't make a difference. I'd still most likely be too anxious to even cook (like , I've never really cooked often and im scared as to whether I'll **** up or not.) Cause of this, ive been stressed and wide-awake at nights to the point where I've already missed so many lectures. Just to make it clear, I seem to have lost all interest in my course due to these issues, so I tend to give a lot of them a miss.
I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm already underweight as it is and I don't want to lose anymore weight by being too anxious to cook. As for my course, it doesn't really interest me now. I find it pretty difficult, oh and I'm pretty far behind now. I think I'll give it another week to decide but I feel like my mind has already been made up. I think being a 100 miles away from home also hasn't helped lol. But yeah, what do you guys think. I honestly don't think it's for me, I'm way too quiet and shizz to enjoy myself and most times I just chill in my dorm and listen to music rather than go out.
Uni can be hell for an introvert.
And you're not just introverted. You get anxious so... Yeah...
Have you tried talking to your flatmmates about it? I know you haven't been there long but there's only two things they can do - help make it better, or find it hilarious and mock you behind your back, but it's not like that will push you over the edge, you wanna leave anyway and they aren't doing that.
And you're not just introverted. You get anxious so... Yeah...
Have you tried talking to your flatmmates about it? I know you haven't been there long but there's only two things they can do - help make it better, or find it hilarious and mock you behind your back, but it's not like that will push you over the edge, you wanna leave anyway and they aren't doing that.
Original post by LiterallyAPeach
Hi. I've been at university for just over a month now, and it has already been a wild ride, but not really one im willing to put up with much longer. To start off, I have pretty bad social anxiety and I live in a very lively student dorm. Because of this, I do find myself in situations where I'm actually too anxious to cook because they're always in the kitchen and they really are a lively bunch, which makes me feel very self-conscious..
I have informed the university and they said they can relocate me to another flat, but it wouldn't make a difference. I'd still most likely be too anxious to even cook (like , I've never really cooked often and im scared as to whether I'll **** up or not.) Cause of this, ive been stressed and wide-awake at nights to the point where I've already missed so many lectures. Just to make it clear, I seem to have lost all interest in my course due to these issues, so I tend to give a lot of them a miss.
I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm already underweight as it is and I don't want to lose anymore weight by being too anxious to cook. As for my course, it doesn't really interest me now. I find it pretty difficult, oh and I'm pretty far behind now. I think I'll give it another week to decide but I feel like my mind has already been made up. I think being a 100 miles away from home also hasn't helped lol. But yeah, what do you guys think. I honestly don't think it's for me, I'm way too quiet and shizz to enjoy myself and most times I just chill in my dorm and listen to music rather than go out.
I have informed the university and they said they can relocate me to another flat, but it wouldn't make a difference. I'd still most likely be too anxious to even cook (like , I've never really cooked often and im scared as to whether I'll **** up or not.) Cause of this, ive been stressed and wide-awake at nights to the point where I've already missed so many lectures. Just to make it clear, I seem to have lost all interest in my course due to these issues, so I tend to give a lot of them a miss.
I just don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm already underweight as it is and I don't want to lose anymore weight by being too anxious to cook. As for my course, it doesn't really interest me now. I find it pretty difficult, oh and I'm pretty far behind now. I think I'll give it another week to decide but I feel like my mind has already been made up. I think being a 100 miles away from home also hasn't helped lol. But yeah, what do you guys think. I honestly don't think it's for me, I'm way too quiet and shizz to enjoy myself and most times I just chill in my dorm and listen to music rather than go out.
You don't need to ask - you have already decided - you are just looking for someone to say you are right.
What are you going to do instead then - move back home? Then what. You are going to have to move on at some time
Original post by squeakysquirrel
You don't need to ask - you have already decided - you are just looking for someone to say you are right.
What are you going to do instead then - move back home? Then what. You are going to have to move on at some time
What are you going to do instead then - move back home? Then what. You are going to have to move on at some time
Well I guess you're right on that. I just wanna know if it's the right thing to do. I'm in desperate measures at this point cause I wanna go through with this but my god it's so hard. The work and even just living here lmao
Original post by TorpidPhil
Uni can be hell for an introvert.
And you're not just introverted. You get anxious so... Yeah...
Have you tried talking to your flatmmates about it? I know you haven't been there long but there's only two things they can do - help make it better, or find it hilarious and mock you behind your back, but it's not like that will push you over the edge, you wanna leave anyway and they aren't doing that.
And you're not just introverted. You get anxious so... Yeah...
Have you tried talking to your flatmmates about it? I know you haven't been there long but there's only two things they can do - help make it better, or find it hilarious and mock you behind your back, but it's not like that will push you over the edge, you wanna leave anyway and they aren't doing that.
It sure does feel that way unfortunately. I have spoken to a few flatmates about it and they didn't really comment on it much. Just the generic 'dont be afraid to come out' kinda thing. I mean they also suggested counselling, which I might do, they suggest anti-depressants which helped them a lot, which I might give a shot at if I'm allowed to.
Anti-depressants have really helped me with my anxiety. Honestly though, moving home is not going to solve anything. Dropping out, if anything, is jut going to make you feel worse. Try going to counselling, it can be a great help. If you are scared about cooking, attend cooking classes! Thing is, you have to address your anxiety issues at some point. University is the perfect time to do this, because there are so many people in the same boat (1 in 4 people in the UK suffer from a mental health issue of some description), and there are so many services and support systems.
The best way to cope with being anxious about cooking? Going to the kitchen and making yourself some food. Force yourself into that environment.
You could always consider moving flats, but then you'll have to cope with the anxiety of being with new people so that won't solve anything.
As for coursework, now that is a different matter. Talk to your lecturers, try and join societies related to your course (even loosely), and even try talking to others in your class. You may not be enjoying it because you are struggling, rather than because you have no interest in the subject. You tell yourself you don't enjoy the topic, to rationalise why you want to drop out so much, when the big issue is most likely anxiety.
Honestly though, the best advice would be do not drop out. I almost dropped out of High School because I was so anxious. I had been badly bullied then transferred to a new school, so I was extremely anxious and finding it hard to make friends. As I was constantly anxious there, both my social life and academic life suffered. Once I spoke to my school they helped me build up my courage and I remained on to the end of the year and got my exam results.
If you drop out, you're going to feel like a failure. You won't be of course, but there'll be that nagging thought in your head of *what if I stayed on?*. You'll find these anxieties when you go for a job, when you try and make new friends or find a partner etc. Being anxious is completely fine and normal, letting it control and takeover your life is not! Tackle the anxiety now. Force yourself to stay until the end of the year at least, implementing the advice I gave you (Speak to a counsellor, speak to your lecturers, just give cooking a go etc) and if you still hate it, then eh at least you gave it your best shot. You may still at least have built up more confidence.
The best way to cope with being anxious about cooking? Going to the kitchen and making yourself some food. Force yourself into that environment.
You could always consider moving flats, but then you'll have to cope with the anxiety of being with new people so that won't solve anything.
As for coursework, now that is a different matter. Talk to your lecturers, try and join societies related to your course (even loosely), and even try talking to others in your class. You may not be enjoying it because you are struggling, rather than because you have no interest in the subject. You tell yourself you don't enjoy the topic, to rationalise why you want to drop out so much, when the big issue is most likely anxiety.
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Try asking some of the other people in your halls if they can help you cook, if you provide them with ingredients then they will be more willing. This is a great way of socialising with others, developing your cooking skills, and feeling less anxious about cooking in front of others.
•
Going clubbing is not the be all and end all of a social life. If you don't like it, you don't like it, and that's fine! Try finding people to attend things you will actually enjoy - e.g trips to the cinema/museum/shops
•
Speak to your lecturers about your concerns about the course, they may even be able to help you find a study group - again you will be building up confidence and socialising, as well as being able to progress with your course.
•
Attend cooking lessons! Great ways to meet people outside of university as well as developing your cooking skills which will be essential even when you leave University (obviously)
If you drop out, you're going to feel like a failure. You won't be of course, but there'll be that nagging thought in your head of *what if I stayed on?*. You'll find these anxieties when you go for a job, when you try and make new friends or find a partner etc. Being anxious is completely fine and normal, letting it control and takeover your life is not! Tackle the anxiety now. Force yourself to stay until the end of the year at least, implementing the advice I gave you (Speak to a counsellor, speak to your lecturers, just give cooking a go etc) and if you still hate it, then eh at least you gave it your best shot. You may still at least have built up more confidence.
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