I'm confused about how you are thinking about it TBH
I've never had one cue I always think about. I look at my technique, find areas for improvement, drill that, move on. If you have just always focused on one then you're probably neglecting really working on your technique because there's more to it than any one cue. When I brace my core, my lower back tightens as part of that, I've never felt like it's something I need to think about. If you keep having to think about it then I suspect you're not bracing right. And isn't butt wink by definition being too extended?
I suspect you need to stop thinking about this specific bit and just focus on what would make you squat more vertical, less sat back so you are doing a proper high bar. If you start doing that then there will be less pressure on your back which should help