Should I be put off by this?
I'm 26, and I've been on a few dates with a guy who's 31, and a financial manager.
Last night he was talking about his parents, and he told me that they pay his car insurance ,phone bill, and several other expenses.
I was quite surprised by this; he's a financial manager with his own house, car, and seems to live the good life.
I'm a teacher, earning about half his salary. My parents occasionally help me, but they don;t finance things like that, but I wouldn't want them to given my age. I told him this, and he said my parents were 'tight', and seemed shocked. I was like, no, I'm 26 and I work, I don't expect them to be financing things.
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
Last night he was talking about his parents, and he told me that they pay his car insurance ,phone bill, and several other expenses.
I was quite surprised by this; he's a financial manager with his own house, car, and seems to live the good life.
I'm a teacher, earning about half his salary. My parents occasionally help me, but they don;t finance things like that, but I wouldn't want them to given my age. I told him this, and he said my parents were 'tight', and seemed shocked. I was like, no, I'm 26 and I work, I don't expect them to be financing things.
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
Original post by Anonymous
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
I wouldn't be put off by his accepting his parents' money. I'd be a bit put out by his calling my parents tight.
Original post by cambio wechsel
I wouldn't be put off by his accepting his parents' money. I'd be a bit put out by his calling my parents tight.
Exactly... it's his parents' choice. But I don't like the fact that he judged mine..
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 26, and I've been on a few dates with a guy who's 31, and a financial manager.
Last night he was talking about his parents, and he told me that they pay his car insurance ,phone bill, and several other expenses.
I was quite surprised by this; he's a financial manager with his own house, car, and seems to live the good life.
I'm a teacher, earning about half his salary. My parents occasionally help me, but they don;t finance things like that, but I wouldn't want them to given my age. I told him this, and he said my parents were 'tight', and seemed shocked. I was like, no, I'm 26 and I work, I don't expect them to be financing things.
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
Last night he was talking about his parents, and he told me that they pay his car insurance ,phone bill, and several other expenses.
I was quite surprised by this; he's a financial manager with his own house, car, and seems to live the good life.
I'm a teacher, earning about half his salary. My parents occasionally help me, but they don;t finance things like that, but I wouldn't want them to given my age. I told him this, and he said my parents were 'tight', and seemed shocked. I was like, no, I'm 26 and I work, I don't expect them to be financing things.
It's kind of put me off him a little, how would others react?
He is a mummy boy and always will be. I would ditch him now and save yourself heartache later. When is he going to let loose the apron strings
Since his parents buy all his stuff if his parents do not like you he will not choose you over them for the sake of his financial royalties 
Thanks for the replies Yeah my ex was the same and I really don't understand this attitude. I'm supposed to be seeing him today, but will see how it goes...
Yeah my ex was the same and I really don't understand this attitude. I'm supposed to be seeing him today, but will see how it goes...I think its a big warning sign. Eh I know a similar person who yapped because They only got a 4000 pounds car when They were 17 plus à boatload of money. They're a lot of trouble to be around and may have am air of Extremely sensible but don't be fooled unless you are not 'threatening' they'll become very défensive at anyone better than them is the trait that dominates their personality.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly... it's his parents' choice. But I don't like the fact that he judged mine..
Perhaps they are in a position to help out like that although youd think he would be self sufficient. Calling your parents tight when he probably doesnt know much about their financial situation should put you on guard about his attitudes. I dont think its a major dumping, but you should bear it in mind if there are other negatives. Tbh you sound offended and unsure rather than smitten. Maybe make your mind up after the next date. No point pursuing something if you know now it wont end in what you want.
If they have to support him and he has a "house", I'd say he is a poor manager of his own personal finances. People who work in finance can be great at their job, but still poor at managing their own money due to extravagant spending etc. Likely he spends the money his parents give him (they are giving him the money by reducing his outgoings) on luxury.
I'd not go near someone like that. The quip about my parents would have instantly generated dislike.
I'd not go near someone like that. The quip about my parents would have instantly generated dislike.
I don't see a problem with accepting gifts from your parents, you get help from your parents yourself.
I don't think it makes much difference what form the gift takes. Whether your parents give you a lump sum for your birthday or offer to pay your phone contract for you. Either way it is helping you out financially.
An adult attitude is to remember that it is a gift and it is no way owed. You plan for not being given anything and if you are, that can be graciously accepted if you choose so I don't like the "tight" comment. You are an adult, your parents don't owe you anything.
My wife gets given loads from her parents and I get nothing. We are careful to live within are own means and are not depend on her father's. She gets money monthly which we save rather than spend.
You can't be an independent adult if you rely on your parents. Money often comes with strings. It is important for me to live knowing that if my wife's parents withdrew their financial support, we would be fine on our own. If you don't have that, parents hold power over you.
I don't think it makes much difference what form the gift takes. Whether your parents give you a lump sum for your birthday or offer to pay your phone contract for you. Either way it is helping you out financially.
An adult attitude is to remember that it is a gift and it is no way owed. You plan for not being given anything and if you are, that can be graciously accepted if you choose so I don't like the "tight" comment. You are an adult, your parents don't owe you anything.
My wife gets given loads from her parents and I get nothing. We are careful to live within are own means and are not depend on her father's. She gets money monthly which we save rather than spend.
You can't be an independent adult if you rely on your parents. Money often comes with strings. It is important for me to live knowing that if my wife's parents withdrew their financial support, we would be fine on our own. If you don't have that, parents hold power over you.
Thank you for the replies; I've decided not to take things further with him, not only for this but also due to the fact that I told him about my family getting our car stolen and getting burgled a few years and he laughed (?!!) and a couple of other reasons... I don't think he's for me..
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for the replies; I've decided not to take things further with him, not only for this but also due to the fact that I told him about my family getting our car stolen and getting burgled a few years and he laughed (?!!) and a couple of other reasons... I don't think he's for me..
Very wise. My brother in law was similar in that his mummy gave him money all the time and tried to control his life through her "donations". As a result he is in a poor state financially because he never learned to stand on his own two feet. He has made two disastrous marriages - his mother hates the wives and he is still going to mummy with his begging bowl ( he is 49)
he is not for you no girl wants a mummys boy
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