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How are you feeling right now? MKV

Reply 7480

username1339858_

16

Sad now

I don't know how to repair it. How self absorbed was I? :colonhash:

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Reply 7481

Maid Marian

20

Colleague at work said she had some worksheets from an ex-teacher than might be useful for me. It was a kind offer and I struggled to say no. So she brought them in last night, along with 4 big folders "that I might need" in a thin bag. I was a bit bewildered but said thanks, I'll take them home. She kept reminding me all night. :erm:

Then when I packed up my till at 10pm and picked up the bag to go, it split and everything went everywhere. I bundled it all up and had to carry it all the way home on the bus and 15 minute walk. There were so many folders that my arms wouldn't reach around them and I couldn't really see over them well - certainly couldn't see where my feet were going. Was holding my water bottle as well so it made getting the change out for the bus and holding the handrails a right struggle. Oh, and getting through the front door with no hands free was bleugh.
I'm going to throw the folders away anyway because they smell musty.

I'm not doing anything today or tomorrow, then got my driving lesson on Tuesday then work on Wednesday. So I have a few days to pretend I don't exist. Yay.

Reply 7482

username2052983

19

Theres cookies in the oven :mmm:

Safe to say i'm verryy happy :woo:

fed up, everything just get's progressively *****ier

Reply 7484

username1339858_

16

Found another book. At least this is tame compared to the other one and not from that period of time. This is when I'd "forgotten"
It's sad though... I was always this sad? :sigh:

Need to try make myself chuck this away.

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Reply 7485

username1339858_

16

I think I'll read it all first actually.

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Reply 7486

OGGUS

21

Original post by BintM

Theres cookies in the oven :mmm:

Safe to say i'm verryy happy :woo:

I'm happy for you too :h:

Reply 7487

username1339858_

16

Strange... people like me? People care? Wow

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Reply 7488

username1439610

18

How does it feel? I reckon it must feel good :curious:

Spoiler

Reply 7489

username1154717

17

Original post by qasim_96

How does it feel? I reckon it must feel good :curious:

Spoiler

Reply 7490

username1339858_

16

Original post by qasim_96

How does it feel? I reckon it must feel good :curious:

Spoiler

Overwhelming 😢😢 what a realisation, I've shocked myself.
Don't these people realise they shouldn't?

Friend... You're your own friend, that's a good start :biggrin:

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Reply 7491

username1439610

18

Don't say that. People care about you because they love you and they want the best for you. After all, you're a wonderful person :console:

It's difficult when I don't like myself. If I was someone else, I wouldn't be friends with me :sad:

Reply 7492

math42

20

Useless f**king piece of s**t

Reply 7493

S2M

22

Original post by 1 8 13 20 42

Useless f**king piece of s**t

This is me 100%.

Reply 7494

username1339858_

16

Original post by qasim_96

Don't say that. People care about you because they love you and they want the best for you. After all, you're a wonderful person :console:

It's difficult when I don't like myself. If I was someone else, I wouldn't be friends with me :sad:

Thanks

I'm just finding it weird :lol:

what would make you like yourself?

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Reply 7495

Dr Strange

12

I don't think you did but you haven't denied it soooooo I'm assuming you do :tongue:

But to be fair, kicking people is an art, so you shouldn't feel guilty. I mean, we spend years perfecting our skills :rofl:

Hope is very important :yep:

And its another new day and a brighter tomorrow :awesome:

I'm glad you agree. :ahee:

Pigs can fly. I saw it in a cartoon when I was young. And I'm gullible enough to believe anything :yep:

Oh they can, can they? :rofl:

I don't remember any cartoons :tongue:

Nah I don't think you're gullible. Because even @KittenMediaya tried to keep her pranks as realistic as possible :teehee:

Ehh I certainly don't enjoy when I'm difficult with myself. I'm sure people irl would agree here. :rofl:

I'm sure that's the case. So keep things simple sometimes? :puppyeyes:

*quivery lips* soz

Was because I was a so called 'high achiever'. They were my so called 'friends'. 1 or 2, I could deal. But 7+ eh, uneven balance. In a tiny school.
No, they specifically targeted me. And were very clever about it. In a way it couldn't be caught. It was all planned. I know because a) they admitted it b) i overheard them c) was confirmed by someone else

Taught me not to trust. Even those closest to you will suddenly turn on you. Taught me to look for ways out.

Eh lol they said sorry :colonhash:

Awww I'm sorry to hear that :cry2:

But at the end of the day it was jealousy. The only motive here is to make the person feel so bad that they stop enjoying their success.

I know it's easier said than done, but you shouldn't dwell on it. You've not done anything wrong and you shouldn't think that you're a bad person/inadequate just because some people wanted to you feel that way. :no:

And maybe their apology was sincere? Saying sorry does require a certain amount of courage after all.

It taught you to look for ways out because that's what survival instinct is: when you're in those situations you just want the suffering to stop. It taught you not to trust because you know that if a 'safe zone' becomes hostile all of a sudden then it'll take you back to that place, i.e a trigger.

And it's natural. Our minds try to create some sort of a defence mechanism which is designed to keep us away from the thing(s) that hurt us.

You might say you're a bad person because of some things you say/do, or the choices you make, but that's not true. It's just the result of the conflict of what's going on inside you. The real you cares for and loves people, whilst those defence mechanisms keep trying to shut that down by promoting a way of life that is as risk-free as possible, because it doesn't want you to get hurt.

And I don't know if this could help, but there's this book called 'The Chimp Paradox' by Dr Steve Peters which has helped not only me, but also many I know, as well as many famous and successful athletes. :yep:

That might help? :redface:

And sorry, I know I'm cheesy :rofl:

1. Ah hell no. No child is seeing my :colonhash:

mood

Gets them shut up fast, ngl :toofunny:

2. I actually don't understand. Explain in baby terms please
3. The world should be ill by now :yep:

1. Oh

But there you go - the kids obviously don't like that. And they love you when you're in one of your normal/happier moods. Doesn't that say something? :tongue:

2. I leave it to you to think about :tongue:

3.

I'm glad to hear it :yep:

Interesting. Will be stealimg that, thanks, to counter anyone who say it's madness.

You're welcome :hat2:

I think I am. But you're being nice :smile:

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You're not :colonhash:

And I'm not being nice :colonhash:

Shush.

Reply 7496

math42

20

I've never earned anything in my life. I've never done a day's work. I was never made to understand and appreciate the value of work, so I really can't. Literally the only possible avenue for me is to stay in education for as long as possible. I am mentally incapable of a real job. It's just that simple. Counselors can't help, they're all useless as it's all about me personally, nobody else can inspire me to anything, and I will never have enough motivation. My life is already over.