How to be part of a casual group?

oldboy2007

I've gone back to uni now. So I kind of want to be a part of a group at uni, just to have some people to talk to or ask questions about the course content etc. But I don't ever want to have outside contact outside of university because I can't deal with free social situations, where there isn't an activity already planned and attendees more or less fixed.

But even so, I'm having trouble latching onto 1 group / people. I say latch to because no one seeks me out. I just sort of flit between some disparate sets of people. Like a nomad.

To be fair, I've had problem for a long time, never could make it in in school either and spend the past couple of years after uni alone.

Reply 1

cheesecakelove

Do you think that because you don't want to get too close to people, your body language isn't as friendly as it could be?

If you wanted to join a group of friends, you may need to reconsider not wanting outside contact. It's how you maintain friendships.

Reply 2

oldboy2007

Original post by cheesecakelove

I have tried to casually talk to girls, I am a guy. This isn't because I'm gay or anything. It's because I thought because I am a guy and they are girls, they will never ask me to do anything outside of uni so I will never have to refuse. Similarly as I don't fancy them I will never want to ask them either. Where as groups of guys would eventually ask and I don't want to have outside social contact. I'm also not keen on any lad's banter because I am ugly and can't get girls so I have nothing to say or do. It's basically why I avoid free social contact completely also.

Reply 3

cheesecakelove

Rather than trying to talk to a group of girls, why not talk to people on a one-to-one basis? There is less pressure if you are only to talking to one person. Also, don't judge all guys as doing lad's banter. Some guys will talk to you normally too if you give them the chance!